Opinion & Commentary

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke has a few choice words about a Miami City Commission candidate. Rev. Richard P. Dunn II is a…

Guys with dark beads, black Holly Hunt T-shirts, and red paisley and Hawaiian flower pattered button downs, ladies in long black and white printed dresses, pink shorts, and leopard tops, and former local rock stars crowded 626 South Miami Avenue on Friday for Tobacco Road’s 101st Anniversary Bash. Celebrating just…

The crash killed two menIt was one of the most spectacular and horrible crashes in South Florida marine history. A powerboat traveling more than 130 miles per hour flipped over backward and two men drowned beneath the hull in a world championship event as rescue workers struggled to reach the…

Lydia had just left a phone message, and it sounded urgent. “I need a babysitter,” she murmured into the Miami man’s voicemail from her house on East Seventh Street. “There are a few kids here that need to be disciplined. I really need someone to get through to these rascals,…

As his administration is nailed for health-care incompetence, President Obama is escaping to Miami today for three Democratic Party fundraisers and to curry favor with Latin voters. He arrives at 3:45 p.m. at MIA and will hang around town until tomorrow at 3:25 p.m. One event will benefit the Democratic…

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Kanye West is arguably the most entertaining rap artist in the world. Even when you are hating on him, you have to love him because you never know what crazy shit he might say or do. He’s like the youngest brother in a big family who is always doing wild…

Profiling Cyclists Cops doing their jobs: So you wrote five pages of literary B.S. about how police are supposedly harassing black bicycle riders over their registrations (“Biking While Black,” Kyle Swenson, October 31)? But basically you’re accusing the cops of enforcing a law they are sworn to enforce at the…

[Editor’s Note: In his new column, Serrano Time, award-winning goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times. Better put on your shoes, because your socks are about to be blown off.] History: Katy Perry was born in 1984, except back then people called her “Katy Hudson” because that’s her…

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke weighs in on the Miami Dolphins bullygate. The Miami Dolphins have never experienced this much off-the-field controversy. The NFL…

New Times did serious damage at the recent Florida Press Club Awards, announced Monday, taking home far more trophies than any other weekly paper in the state and ranking with the best in virtually every significant category. The paper took five first places and a passel of runners-up…

So the guy looks like a dinosaur when he roars. And he is grumpy when confronted with TV series that use his likeness. But Bosh is having a killer start to the season, and now he has a third child, Dylan Skye Bosh, who was born at 5:55 a.m. yesterday,…

If you’re on the Trader Joe’s bandwagon, it’s likely you’ve heard rumblings about the store’s Speculoos Cookie Butter — if you’re not already addicted to the stuff. This crushed-up-cookie spread has created a sugar-induced hysteria that’s caused nationwide shortages and a gangbusters black-market business. Seriously, this is how stampedes happen…

Uncle Luke, the man who made the U.S. Supreme Court Stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke has some relationship advice for a famous celebrity couple. Kanye West is arguably the most entertaining rap artist in the…

Except for being in center of all the action at the American Airlines Arena, there’s nothing like cheering on LBJ, D-Wade, Bosh, and the rest of the Miami Heat champs at a sports bar with an ice cold Yuengling on hand, surrounded by like-minded ride-or-die fans. At the peak of…

If you’re anything like us, you’re happy that the weather is getting cooler. But you’re also sad because the next Miami Spice is ten months away. In the medium term, we have some good news. French Spice is going on through November 15. It works just like Miami Spice –…

Each year, the Miami Marathon and Half Marathon sees 25,000 athletes bounding through the streets of our fair city. This year, the race takes place on February 2, 2014 and, while that may seem far away, training starts now…

Do voters in Miami’s District 5 really want to elect Rev. Richard P. Dunn II, a candidate with a lot of questions swirling about his personal and campaign finances? I don’t think so. He will only continue the cycle of criminal investigations in the district that is home to almost…

Miami Beach Clowns Not a funny joke: You’re right that all four candidates for Miami Beach mayor are total jokes (“Seaside Circus,” Michael E. Miller, October 24). This is the reason we are a banana republic just like Venezuela, where the president receives messages from the dead Hugo Chávez via…