A rather profound compendium of funnies this week:Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. ~Groucho MarxJean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, ‘I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.’ The waitress…
Notes from the Soundboard is a new column appearing weekly on Crossfade, focused on pop music’s history and ongoing evolution. Lee Zimmerman shares insights and observations on how music continues to connect with the weirdness of the world. Click here to read past installments.I have a gripe. I don’t want…
I don’t know how Bravo is ever going to top Real Housewives of New Jersey. How do you do one better than a show that climaxes with a forehead-challenged Italian woman shouting, “You were stripping! Prostitution whore! You were fucking engaged 19 times! You fucking stupid bitch! Coming! To my!…
Juan Loumiet is on a busy streak. Besides running his venue, promoting shows, and spinning beats, he is finding time to drop deep tracks on his label Basshead. Right now he has this piece coming from Miami’s own Otto von Schirach. It’s a double-A side with two big-time club bangers,…
A press release of new arrivals and soon-to-be additions to the Coral Gables dining scene was recently sent out. Of those places mentioned, Norman’s 180 (180 Aragon Ave.) is the only one to eagerly await. We don’t know much about Charlotte Bistro, which is due to debut at 264 Miracle…
Best Babble Not Loria’s fault: In regard to Jeffrey Loria being named Best Chutzpah in your “Best of Miami” issue (June 11): The thing is that Loria didn’t sell the stadium to the taxpayers; he sold it to the corrupt commissioners who time and again refused to give everyone in…
Can someone explain to Rep. Culberson that there’s a big difference between between bigotry and democracy? At least this guy didn’t make The Atlantic’s list of top 30 twitterers…
People From Venus is one of the most under – the – radar quality local acts, but that should change soon with the late-summer release of the band’s debut album. I waxed ecstatically about them not too long ago on this blog, but suffice it to say their songwriting boasts…
Moving Units is a new column on Crossfade tracking the best-selling music at South Florida independent record stores. Click here to see past top sellers. Top Sellers for the Week of June 8-12:Uncle Sam’s Music, South Beach 1. Behind the Front, Black Eyed Peas 2. Fame, Lady Gaga 3. DJ,…
Crazy Pianos Tuning UpThe new dueling piano bar, restaurant, and late night entertainment venue in Coconut Grove (second floor of CocoWalk at 3015 Grand Avenue) is offering brunch from 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. every Sunday. Also: two-for-one drink specials Thursdays 6:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. Crazy Pianos claims to…
Not many swing bands boast an axe man who’s a fan of Rush. Then again, when the original swing bands were around, prog rock wasn’t even the horizon, let alone a dream in some long-haired Canadian’s mind. Oddly enough, the swing bands got along fine without it. Though truth be…
This week Archive Diver, Crossfade edition, presents the concert calendar from the June 15 – 21, 1988 edition of the Miami New Times.Most importantly note Youth Of Today at the Cameo Theatre with Raging Pus-Bags, FWA and Second Generation. Youth Of Today are one of the greatest hardcore punk bands…
In the spirit of the season, I will lay down for you some hurricane tips and tricks and do’s and don’t’s. Do you dread putting up your shutters like I do? Keep them up all year! It’s easier, you only have to do it once and you are always prepared…
They don’t call Marlon T. Moore “X-Large” for nothing. Back in December 2007, Moore, a 38-year-old Miami resident, walked out of the federal pen in Coleman, Florida after serving a six year sentence on felony money laundering charges as part of a cocaine smuggling ring. Soon after his release, Moore…
The biggest thing going for retro culture lovers over the past weekend was, of course, Hukilau 2009. Los Straitjackets headlined the weekend’s biggest show, Friday night at the Bahia Cabana hotel. There are a ton of amazing photos of the whole event on Phinzup’s Flickr photostream. Mr. Bali Hai took…
It would be enough of an accomplishment if 24 – year – old DJ Chachi simply spun at Tenjune — after all, it is one of the Big Bad Apple’s hippest hotspots. But that’s not nearly enough for this go-getter, who also counts to his credit residencies at both Mur.Mur…
Tweet, tweet ya’ll! Guess who was spotted yesterday at Poplife’s Just Add Water at the Fontainebleau? Funny man/boy Andy Milonakis, who just release a new single “Let Me Twitter Dat” via Diplo’s Mad Decent label, wasn’t showing off his pre-pubescent body but our cameras caught him enjoying some drinks, which…
The premiere of Brooke Knows Best’s second season was, dare I say, touching. We all know the personal saga of the Hogans (a messy divorce, the son’s stint in jail, and the matriarch dating a 19-year-old boy toy), but that episode almost made you feel for a family with loads of money and a…
In honor of New Times Best of Miami issue, we’ve decided to wrap up things on Riptide this week by awarding our posts this weeks with completely meaningless merits. Click through to find out who wins. I’m sure you’ll be super surprised. Best Media hissy fit involving Bill O’Reilly and Rick…
I once thought Biscayne Times editor and publisher Jim Mullin was a principled, smart journalist. I don’t anymore. Jack King’s June commentary “Miami’s Media Muddle” in the BT should embarrass both Mullin and the writer. It calls Miami New Times “a shadow of its former self,” says the staff is “down…
He passed away a year ago this month. Here are some of his observations on culinary matters:’Fussy eater’ is a euphemism for ‘big pain in the ass’.Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: ‘I’m saving food!’ Then a month later…
This is old news, but bears repeating: The version of 2 Live Crew does not feature Luke. Ok, that’s out of the way. But as the remaining members of the group — Fresh Kid Ice and Brother Marquis — told Miami New Times last year, that doesn’t really matter. Luke…
