Ultra Bingo: Sunglasses… At Night

Yo, beat freaks! It’s time again to break out your Ultra/Miami Music Week 2011 bingo cards. Only 12 hours ago, we here at Crossfade filled our very first square by spotting a guy with the Ultra logo shaved into the back of his head at Juicy Beach. And already we’re…

Ultra 2011 Bingo: Ultra Logo Shaved Head

Got your Ultra/Miami Music Week 2011 bingo cards ready? Because we’ve already found our first visual item. It didn’t take long to find a guy with the Ultra logo shaved into his head, and where else would he be hanging out but Nikki Beach.Check out the photographic evidence after the…

Paris vs. Miami: Can You Tell The Difference?

I passed by one of the new South Beach rental bicycle racks just after the bikes were installed last week. A few years back my wife and I took advantage of the same system in Paris, and I have a photo of the bicycles lined up on a street in…

A Bill Of Rights For Vegetables

“This story begins earlier this year, just as the very first crocuses peeped from the frosted ground. One cold bright morning, George Ball, the proprietor of W. Atlee Burpee, the gardening company, discovered a curious looking green envelope in his mailbox. He noticed the pages gave off a distinct bouquet:…

Ten Really Overpriced Miami Restaurant Dishes

There are overpriced dishes, and then there are really overpriced dishes. The tough part wasn’t finding ten such sucker deals, but whittling down the list to only ten. Once you peruse a hundred or so Miami restaurant menus, it becomes clear there are bad deals across the spectrum. So don’t…

Girls Gone Wild is Casting in Miami Beach on Wednesday

Ladies who have a vested interested in keeping their breasted interests private might want to steer clear of Automatic Slim’s on South Beach this Wednesday. Women who don’t mind appearing topless on television screens of men too timid to buy real porn, well then perk up and make your plans…

Miami Seaquarium Food Truck Rally Serves Fish Tacos

Flipper is dead. Actually, the six dolphins who played him are. But that hasn’t stopped Miami Seaquarium from planning the Flipper’s Truck Stop food truck rally for this Sunday, March 27. A dozen trucks are scheduled to be there, including seafood-centric Fish Box and Jefe’s Original Fish Taco and Burger.You…

Miami CFO Larry Spring’s House Of Disorder

No wonder the City of Miami’s finances are in the crapper. The man in charge of its purse strings, Chief Financial Officer Larry Spring, lost his mother’s house in a foreclosure sale last year. If he couldn’t keep up with his mortgage payments, how can anyone expect Spring, who receives…

NFL Players Should Send The Greedy Owners To Hell

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times.This week, Luke advises professional football players to form their own league.When Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson likened the National…

Luther Campbell Makes His Case on Spanish-Language Radio

Yesterday, Luther Campbell went on Spanish-language radio to talk about his campaign for Miami-Dade County mayor. The Miami New Times columnist was a guest of Ricardo Brown and Lourdes Ubieta, who host the 12 to 3 p.m. slot on Actualidad 1020 AM.Campbell discussed his First Amendment tussle with former Broward…

Real Housewives’ Lea Black: Sarah Palin is a Circus Sideshow

You might not know it from the freak show that is Bravo’s Real Housewives of Miami, but star Lea Black is a pretty prominent figure in Florida’s Democratic party fund-raising machine. Along with her attorney husband Roy Black, she held the very first fund-raiser for then-candidate Barack Obama in Florida…

Amazing Grace’s Entities Is Gonna Give You a Good, Thrashy Jolt

Amazing Grace Entities (Self-released) myspace.com/amazinggraceofficial Amazing Grace is a band that I know more about through research and word-of-mouth than I do from personal interaction. Reputedly, these guys were the kings of South Florida’s punk rock scene in the sense that they pretty much nailed every groupie in town and…