With a $417,000 campaign war chest, Miami Commissioner Marc Sarnoff is the top rainmaker of the five candidates running in next week’s November 1 election.The incumbent from Coconut Grove is also the guy who tells the biggest whoppers. To honor his preeminent status, Banana Republican has compiled Sarnoff’s top five…
Some illiterate little paper I had never heard of — and never hope to hear of again — the South Florida Chronicle — was reveling this morning in the fact that I had to lay off an employee a couple of weeks ago.Sorry, you simpletons. There were no big layoffs. One…
Every major news source has been regurgitating the news of Starbucks’ new Blonde roast all week long; from the Miami Herald to the Huff Post’s Food Blog, to USA Today, the AP writeup has been amazingly prolific regarding Starbucks “going blonde.”Here’s the issue: I actually am a blonde courtesy of DNA,…
Urban Beach Weekend: Luke wants the party
Reader mail: Don’t blame 95 Express, blame drivers
Christopher Andrew Headley Miami Gardens murder
The Miami Dolphins may not have any victories this season, but they certainly have a sense of humor. They’re letting Jan from The Office sing “The Star-Spangled Banner” at this Sunday’s loss game against the Denver Broncos. Melora Hardin, who plays Jan on the hit NBC sitcom, has been on…
The executive editor of the Daily Business Review, Eddie Dominguez, is jumping ship.He sent out this email yesterday:”After a decade as executive editor of the Daily Business Review, I’ve decided to leave the DBR and journalism and take a short stroll up Brickell Avenue to City National Bank where I…
Here is my final update on Rena Greenberg’s Gastric Bypass Hypnosis Surgery program.It has been about forty days since I first underwent the “surgery.” For those of you who haven’t read my previous columns on the subject, I’ll give you a brief summary.Rena Greenberg, a certified hypnotherapist (and author, among other…
What a difference three months makes. In July, after New Times published a feature exposing a disastrous lack of oversight in a $150-million-a-year taxpayer-funded voucher program for disabled kids, Florida Department of Education honcho Michael Kooi said this newspaper “should be ashamed” of its reporting. Now, after getting grilled by…
Last time Raul Martinez ran for elected office, he got handed his only and worst defeat of his political career. He was part of a Democratic tag team that was supposed to topple the Diaz-Balart oligarchy controlling two of Miami’s Hispanic U.S. Congressional seats. The coup failed miserably and we…
This past September 8, 20-year-old Christopher Headley grabbed a cup of fruit punch and walked out the door of his uncle Paul Neil’s Miramar apartment. Fifteen hours later he was dead — shot four times in the head and chest.The really horrible thing about Chris’s death — which I detail…
Sometime toward the end of the second Dubya Bush term, we found ourselves on the back patio of a Downtown Miami nightclub in full-throttle Friday night mode. Inside the club, sweaty bodies writhed and wiggled all over each other like an overturned bucket of earthworms. Rightfully so, as the tunes…
Luther “Luke” Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke announces plans to reclaim Memorial Day Weekend on Miami Beach.Six months ago, a young man died and…
Remember when Madrid-born, Miami-raised pop star Enrique Iglesias broke onto the American music scene in the early 2000s? He had those sensitively angled brows, tastefully pumped-up muscles, and beautiful skin tanned to perfection by the South Florida sun. And that mole … Oh, the mole! He was a handsome young…
A family of real estate developers who avoided paying more than $100,000 in code violations in Homestead thanks to Mayor Steve Bateman sure knows how to spoil the city’s elected officials. Through various corporations they own, Eduardo, Fred, and Larry Abbo also contributed $5,500 to Vice-Mayor Judy Waldman’s reelection campaign…
Anyone expecting some radical new ideas from Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez can just forget about it. Just like his predecessor, Gimenez is screwing over the county employees who can least afford it, while letting the fat-cat bureaucrats continue collecting their six-figure annual salaries.Earlier today, blogger Bill Cooke posted a list…
Today is National Chocolate Covered Insect day. You’ve probably consumed your fair share of bugs during your lifetime — either as a kid stuffing dirt in your mouth or last week when you yawned while riding around on your bike.No need to panic — most insects are edible and in…
On last night’s episode of X Factor, we saw “hipster” Philip Lomax sing “Don’t Stop the Music” to Rihanna. We saw Simon tap his toe, Paula look intensely happy, Nicole emote, and L.A. shake his head back and forth in approval. Future mechanic Tora Woloshin made us feel old, then…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. …
The restaurant world can almost be boiled down to two basic kinds of restaurants — restaurants that serve simple dishes and restaurants that have menus that read more Cirque du Soleil than food.Consider Miami’s own Barton G. restaurant. Dishes include cheeky monkey mahi, lobster pop tarts and coconut-crusted voodoo shrimp…
Choice Preparatory School was banned from sports competition last year after an investigator for the state athletic athletic association found no evidence of classes taking place there. Its director has been involved in two schools found to have defrauded the Department of Education of funds earmarked for kids with disabilities…
