Whoa! Have you ever noticed how much Jacuzzi Boys singer-slash-guitarist Gabriel Alcala resembles a set of female genitals with googly eyes and long hair? Well, neither had Crossfade until we watched a new vid for “Glazin’,” the totally rad title track off the Boys’ recently released sophomore slab. Produced by…
Red the Steakhouse chef/partner Peter Vauthy invited Short Order into his kitchen to watch the arrival of about 90 pounds of Wagyu beef. We asked him to explain Wagyu versus Kobe and why we should pay top dollar for the Wagyu experience.Vauthy gets his meat from Lone Mountain Ranch in New Mexico, which has…
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why he deserves the Marv Albert treatment.Two weeks ago, I was with my wife watching the Tennessee…
There are some artists who can’t escape their past, no matter how hard they try. Paul Simon is inextricably linked to Simon & Garfunkel. Robert Plant will always be the tousle-haired, bare-chested vocalist of Led Zeppelin. John Fogerty will never fully put Credence Clearwater Revival behind him. And Sting, despite…
No election in Hialeah, Miami, and Miami Beach is complete without a little political sofrito to spice things up. Thanks to some innovative instigators, cameras have been chronicling strange encounters involving candidates running for office in those three cities.As voters head to the polls tomorrow, we bring you the four…
In true South Florida fashion, a pill mill that trafficked thousands of illegal oxycodone tablets was operating right in the heart of Miami-Dade County government, the feds say.Recent charges filed against Robert’s Drug Store and its owner, Aiman Aryan, are a surprising fall from grace for a well-connected pharmacist with…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will…
Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez could soon be at odds with two major casino operators supporting his re-election run in 2012. That’s because a pair of state bills that would pave the way for three destination mega-resorts with full-scale casinos benefits one company while freezing out the other firm.Gimenez publicly supports…
What exactly was grunge? We know the early-’90s trend was some kind of rock ‘n’ roll. But were its adherents just the latest batch of unwashed punks or hippies? They kind of looked like both. And the music kind of sounded like both too.Grunge — both the dirge-y guitar tunes…
It’s the final countdown for North Bay Village Mayor Corina Esquijarosa. The Miami-Dade Elections Office has verified that a political action committee seeking a recall against Esquijarosa has obtained the required number of voter signatures to call an election.Citizens For Full Disclosure needed to get 440 John Hancocks in its…
Joe Rose, Jorge Sedano, Sid Rosenberg are racists
Reader mail: Ave Maria University is like rehab for smug Catholics
I am so sick and tired of Barack Obama. How many of you saw him on Jay Leno last night, putting on his tired old shtick about how his wife is stronger and more in shape than he is, how his health advocate wife secretly loves French fries and pizza,…
McDonald’s announced it was re-releasing it’s mystery-meat sandwich the McRib at all of its stores through November 14. Immediately, people went wild on Twitter to comment on the sandwich that causes such a devoted frenzy whenever the fast-food giant takes the pork-like sammy out for a spin. In fact, #McRib is…
Halloween is next Monday, and with it comes trick-or-treating and candy. Candy, by its very existence, is sweet, delicious, and created solely to make you feel good. So, of course, some genius decided that if you can mold candy into, say, a teddy bear, you can mold it into a…
Luther “Luke” Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell wonders when Jacory Harris will get his due.The sports media in South Florida is really one-sided. None…
Though Juggalo parties are loaded with titties and soda pop, and their signature battle cry mating call, “Whoop! Whoop!,” would seemingly convey unabashed pride, it’s safe to assume that it ain’t easy being down with the clown. Everyone loves to rag on Insane Clown Posse, and the unwashed youth that…
With a $417,000 campaign war chest, Miami Commissioner Marc Sarnoff is the top rainmaker of the five candidates running in next week’s November 1 election.The incumbent from Coconut Grove is also the guy who tells the biggest whoppers. To honor his preeminent status, Banana Republican has compiled Sarnoff’s top five…
Some illiterate little paper I had never heard of — and never hope to hear of again — the South Florida Chronicle — was reveling this morning in the fact that I had to lay off an employee a couple of weeks ago.Sorry, you simpletons. There were no big layoffs. One…
Every major news source has been regurgitating the news of Starbucks’ new Blonde roast all week long; from the Miami Herald to the Huff Post’s Food Blog, to USA Today, the AP writeup has been amazingly prolific regarding Starbucks “going blonde.”Here’s the issue: I actually am a blonde courtesy of DNA,…
Urban Beach Weekend: Luke wants the party
Reader mail: Don’t blame 95 Express, blame drivers
