The Marlins shoulda creamed the St Louis Cardinals last night. They didn’t. The reason: Luis Gonzalez sucks. The Marlins 31-year-old left fielder came up three times with runs in scoring position ..and made three outs. The bases were loaded. There were two guys on base. He’s supposed to be the…
Okay, so the Dolphins lost their pre-season opener 17-6. But winning or losing is not necessarily the objective of pre-season. It’s all about evaluation. And it’s about football season finally being here, dammit! Dolphins fans had been waiting since December to get the rather objectionable taste of a 1-15 season…
In Touch reports that legendary Hall of Fame Dolphin quarterback Dan Marino is going to be a contestant on Dancing With the Stars this September. In a related story, I’m reporting that my childhood has been crushed into a fine powder. Former Fin Jason Taylor just got done wrapping up…
Manny Ramirez is headed to the Marlins! A deal is close! Sources are saying it’s only a matter of time! Here we go! Ready? And…. the deal is dead. The Red Sox sent him to L.A. instead. Sad trombone sound Okay, so the Manny to the Marlins thing didn’t happen…
The sign hangs over a locked turnstile outside Dolphin Stadium, gently mocking hundreds of Marlins fans trapped in a winding gauntlet of fences protecting the handful of ticket sellers at Wednesday’s divisional showdown against the Mets. Lightning flashes. Torrents of rain darken the horizon. Clouds circle overhead. The line creeps…
UPDATE: Sorry, Fish fans dreaming of a summer watching Manny being Manny in Dolphin Stadium. Looks like the ManRam will be looking for the best place to take a leak behind the outfield wall in sunny Chavez Ravine instead. According to ESPN, the eccentric slugger is headed to the Dodgers…
Now it’s just getting ridiculous. The Marlins continue to prove that no lead is safe against them, no matter the competition, no matter the odds. With the NL East leading Mets in town, the Fish took the first game of a three-game set last night with yet another tap the…
When James Posey left the Miami Heat, sports fans and groupies alike cried over the loss of one of our most talented and fiiine players. But when he ended up winning another ring with the Celtics, people were like, “Damn, I’d jump from the Titanic to a Carnival cruise liner…
Marlins pitcher Rick VandenHurk no-hit the Braves last night in his first big league start since recently being recalled up from Double-A Carolina. Unfortunately, the no-hitter lasted only five innings. But still. Not too shabby. VandenHurk walked five and threw a whopping 94 pitches on the night before skipper Fredi…
The Jason Taylor era in Miami is over. As first reported by Fox Sports yesterday evening, the Dolphins traded Taylor to the Washington Redskins for a second-round pick in 2009 and a sixth-round pick in 2010. It had been almost a foregone conclusion, knowing that if an opportunity presented itself,…
It was supposed to be a night to remember for Marlins All-Star second baseman Dan Uggla. Instead, it was a night fit for several shots of Schnapps with a Vicodin chaser. In what ended up becoming the longest All-Star game in history, Uggla had himself the roughest night imaginable going…
Scott Olsen It seems as if the Marlins’ Scott Olsen hadn’t won a game since Indiana Jones was in theaters. Oh wait. Since wrestling star Hulk Hogan was garnering headlines. Nope. Uh, since Sting and The Police last had a world tour. Damn it! It’s been a long time since…
Hanley Ramirez It’s about time the rest of the world got exposed to the sheer awesomeness that is the Florida Marlins’ Hanley Ramirez. Yesterday it was announced that Ramirez will be the starting shortstop for the National League in next week’s All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium. Ramirez beat out the…
The trial to challenge the building of the Florida Marlins’ new ballpark is set to start next week. A postponement would’ve pushed the trial to September, but Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Jeri-Beth Cohen rescheduled the trial so that it could start by next Wednesday. This is good news for the Marlins,…
The NBA Free Agency period started today at approximately one minute after midnight. And what can we expect the Miami Heat to do during this period? A lot. If a lot means signing an otherwise crappy player for less money and less years so that Miami can have the salary…
When NBA commissioner David Stern walked up to the microphone last night and said, “With the second pick in the 2008 NBA draft the Miami Heat select…” there was a collective sphincter-clenching angst that shot across Heat Nation. “Oh shit,” we all thought breathlessly, “are we going to hear any…
Pat Riley Hey Coach Riley. Chris from the New Times here. Hi. Hello. How are you? Just wanted to drop you a note about tonight’s NBA Draft. If you’ve spent any time at all reading this here blog – and I know you haven’t – you know where I, dare…
Shawn Marion If the rumors are true that Pat Riley is lukewarm about drafting Michael Beasley, then perhaps Shawn Marion can help sort things out. Thanks to Marion’s choosing not to opt out of his contract last night, Riley suddenly has two major trade chips tucked in his $3,000 Armani…
Michael Beasley Michael Beasley has become something of a media-constructed anomaly. He’s gone from sure-fire NBA prospect, to immature troublemaker, to too small to be a star NBA forward, to too risky to draft because he once wore pajamas to the school cafeteria. Some have said he’s an immature jerk;…
Good news: the Marlins now have 103 homeruns on the season – the most in the majors. Bad news: the pitching has been a bouillabaisse of pure unadulterated mediocrity. That was pretty much the case this past weekend when the Fish visited the Strip Club Capital of the World and…
ESPN NBA draft analyst Chad Ford reports that the Miami Heat had a workout with former USC guard O.J. Mayo and that Mayo could very well be the Heat’s first pick in this month’s NBA draft. And to that we give our own NBA draft analysis rebuttal by saying, “Whaaa?!”…
If you listen long enough, you can still hear it. The sound of thunder reverberating throughout the sky from last night’s Marlins walk-off grand slam against the Phillies. The Gods on Olympus forged his arms out of molten lava and rawhide; his balls were cast from pure steel. His name…
