What am I doing with my Sundays? I oughta be out in a convertible, bird-doggin’ chicks and bangin’ beaver on Sundays. Instead, I’m watching the shitty Dolphins? I must be a fucking loon. This shit just ain’t funny anymore. It’s become downright grim. We’re now one loss away. One loss…
“Oh my! Hello. I am C-3PO. Human cyborg relations. I have come from a galaxy far, far away to deliver you some pertinent information. It seems that it has been exactly 365 days since the Miami Dolphins last won a game. I must tell you that the odds of this…
So the Marlins are at it again. They win a World Series and then end up trading everyone away. Why can’t they just keep people around. The Marlins are trading Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis for six prospects from the Detroit Tigers. Yes, they are trading the last two guys…
In hindsight, I guess I should have expected this. Everything was in place for a Dolphins win. And by that I mean the day was ripe for yet another ball-crushing, soul-sucking loss. The crowd was rocking. The Jets fans silenced. Joey Porter had just intercepted a batted ball and ran…
As you’ve probably may have guessed from being a regular here, I’m no fun to be around during a Dolphins game. I yell, I kick, I throw shit. I’m even more aggressive when I’m at a game. A buddy of mine was able to score a couple of Club level…
At the Miami Heat game Tuesday…. The Golden Oldies, time-out dancers with soft bellies, gray hair and jiggling thighs earned with age, shook to booty music. (Boisterous applause, knee-slapping laughter, giggles) Then, the sexy, hair-tossing twenty-somethings clicked across the court in heels and pranced while some seemed to long for…
Both the Palm Beach Post and the Miami Herald are calling for Cam Cameron to cut John Beck’s cord and let him fucking sling the rock already. I added the fucking for emphasis. Says Greg Stoda: “Let [Beck] heave more than one deep toss to Ted Ginn Jr … Have…
Whenever media spotlights shine on the early death of a celebrity like Sean Taylor, the tragedy somehow becomes symbolic of something larger. Maybe it’s fear or a desire to put our finger on something that we feel we can control. If we figure out what caused it, maybe we can…
My eyes are bloodshot. My hair is disheveled. My stomach hurts. I’m a zombie. I’m beyond my normal bouts of rage after a Dolphins’ loss. I’m beyond just the normal throwing the toaster at my television. I’m beyond flinging empty Heineken bottles at my dog. This loss makes me want…
News wires are reporting that Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor, who attended the University of Miami, was shot in his Palmetto Bay home early this morning. Miami’s ABC-TV 10 is reporting that Taylor was shot in the groin around 1:45 Monday morning. The police are investigating whether the shooting was…
Got a bunch of e-mails regarding my post from Friday. Apparently I was a bit ambiguous about my stance on the whole Darren McFadden thing. Sorry. Stuffing, Tryptophan and a shit load of Jack and Coke had me feeling a little funky after that Arkansas-LSU game. So here’s where I…
So you’ve come back home from your 4:00 a.m. shopping spree at Wal-Mart and BrandsMart USA, where you got that 52″ plasma TV for yourself (half off!) and The Best of Ralph Macchio DVD boxed set for your brother-in-law (also half-off!), and plunked yourself down on the couch to waste…
I regard Nascar in the same way that lunatics consider Free Masonry: It’s everywhere. It generates millions of dollars and seems to hold a considerable sway over half the country’s hearts and minds. And yet, I hardly see it anywhere. I don’t know anybody who cares about Nascar. I’m only…
According to Armando Salguero, Cam Cameron is expected to announce today that John Beck will start against the Eagles on Sunday. As it is, I won’t have to stab Cam with a trident. Anyway, you all know I’ve been calling for this to happen since, like, Week 3. Better late…
Today’s the day. The day Cam Cameron is supposed to come out and announce that John Beck will be getting the start against Philly this weekend. We all see it coming right? I mean, after all, Cam was non-committal about naming Cleo Lemon as the starter for this week after…
Yep. We did it! The Miami Dolphins are now officially the worst team in the NFL. You just knew it. In the pit of your stomach. You knew the Fins were going to find a way to screw it up and give a game away that clearly should have been…
“I went back and looked at the tape and remembered all the good things he’s done. He’s aware of the things he has to improve on,” Cam Cameron said of starting Dolphins quarterback Cleo Lemon. “John Beck has been one play away from playing several weeks now. He’s progressing, doing…
This Sunday, our Dolphins flew across the pond to play the New York Giants at London’s Wembley Stadium. And while in England, they did the obvious — they lost. But for once, the teams’ 0-8 record wasn’t what the guys over at ESPN were all abuzz about. Last Wednesday at…
Well, turns out the Dolphins suck on pretty much whatever continent they play on. The UK game came and went, the NFL finally got to force itself down the throats of the Brits while having their sport showcased on a field that matched the shittiness of the teams playing on…
OK so now I’m pissed. On the same day, the Marlins — oop, I mean Red Sox — win the World Series and the New York Times reports that former Marlins manager of the year Joe Girardi is the leading candidate to take over the Yankees. Oh yeah and did…
Dolphins fans couldn’t do much but hide their faces Sunday as the team fell to 0-7 AP Photo Everybody knows the 0-7 Dolphins are bad. But after Sunday’s nausea-inducing loss to the New England Patriots, Miami looks like it has a legitimate shot at being the first 0-16 team in…
A Miami Shores tenisista is getting national recognition at the U.S. Open this week. Ahsha Rolle (number 109) beat 17th ranked Tatiana Golovin in the tournament’s first round, a mind-blowing upset. Then in the sedcond, she whacked 57th ranked Karin Knapp in three sets. A picture of Rolle, who was…
