Look, every city is full of trash people. American culture reinforces the terrible behavior patterns of cretins and psychos. But there’s simply a higher bar to seem like a huge asshole in Miami than, say, Des Moines, Iowa. Our police chiefs waterboard people here. With that in mind, allow New Times to list the five biggest asshats in the Magic City (and the surrounding area) this year.
Jerry Falwell Jr., the evangelist son of world-famous Southern Baptist minister Jerry Falwell Sr., runs a hardcore-Christian university and often acts as the public face for the American evangelical movement. That’s why it seemed so hypocritical when he endorsed Donald Trump — a sexually rapacious avatar of American greed, racism…
Carlos Gimenez has not been a good Miami-Dade County mayor. He will forever be remembered as the leader who agreed to cooperate with Donald Trump’s Immigration and Customs Enforcement deportation police. He also brazenly vetoed the creation of an independent police-oversight board. And he definitely has some ethical issues.Yet…
Republican state Sen. Aaron Bean has a ridiculous idea.
In public spaces across Florida, at least 30 monuments pay tribute to Confederate soldiers. Many of the memorials glorify members of the renegade army that declared war on the United States as “uncrowned heroes” or “a noble band” and celebrating their “dauntless valor.” It would become illegal to remove any of those…
Ever since the AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF) announced plans to build a 15-story affordable-housing complex in downtown Fort Lauderdale, nearby residents have been up in arms. Many locals suggested the development belonged west of I-95 instead of across North Federal Highway from the upscale Rio Vista neighborhood. One person wrote on Next Door: “Dump em in the glades.”
This was supposed to be the Florida Democrats’ year. The blue wave was cresting. Andrew Gillum was a strong candidate for governor. Ron DeSantis and Rick Scott were grotesque, cretinous candidates and seemingly awful human beings. Everything looked so easy.
The Florida Democratic Party is, without question, in the running for “most inept” Democratic state-level institution in America. There are currently more registered Democrats than Republicans here, but the GOP has managed to control the governor’s mansion since 2001 and will remain there until at least 2022. There are signs that,…
Florida State Rep. Thad Altman was born in Macon, Georgia, in 1955. He moved to Florida in 1957 and has been basically a carpetbagger delivering Deep South hatred ever since. He’s earned one of those old-white-dude names that is essentially just “Monocle Q. Racism.” In a depressingly on-trend move for…
North Bay Village is made up of three tiny islands in the middle of Biscayne Bay. But it has the best politics. Not long ago, the police chief, city attorney, and several other key officials were fired. Then old pro Manager Frank Rollason, his deputy manager, and a secretary quit. In…
The best news for Democrats from the recent midterm elections was that Florida’s racist and ridiculously difficult road to voting rights restoration for felons was overturned — you know, the one that stopped one in five black voters from casting ballots. Now it looks as if Republicans don’t want to…
In both sad and entirely predictable news, immigration-asylum applications in Miami were denied at rates virtually unseen in two decades, according to data released today by the Transactional Records Access Clearinghouse (TRAC), a group at Syracuse University. Immigration officials denied 86 percent of asylum applications…
A whole host of civil-rights advocates believe that the private, for-profit prison industry should not exist. But former Florida State Senate President Joe Negron appears to, ahem, lean in the opposite direction: Politico Florida first reported yesterday that the outgoing Negron will take a cushy gig as…
Little Havana is an amazing, interesting, beautiful place. Little Havana’s new flag, which debuted yesterday, is none of those things. The flag is hideous. It’s a flag that includes 22 other flags plus one rooster. If you’re staring at the monstrosity above and wondering, “Why does that look like a…
Vice President Mike Pence arrived at Fort-Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport just after noon on Friday. He was greeted by a Broward Sheriff’s Office SWAT team that included one cop in a #QAnon conspiracy-theory patch. #QAnon is, of course, the batshit-insane, 4Chan-based conspiracy theory that claims Donald Trump is secretly fighting a…
Ron DeSantis’ run for the Florida governorship was based, at times, almost entirely on the issue of immigration. He wants Donald Trump to build a border wall. He threatened to crack down on local mayors who refuse to cooperate with Immigration and Customs Enforcement. He repeatedly said on the campaign…
Almost 40 years ago, a query came into the Action Line, a long-gone Miami Herald column that pretty much played the role Google does today, answering obscure questions and giving out advice. The writer, “M. Weisbaum” of Plantation, had heard that dog-racing tracks once employed monkeys as jockeys. “This is…
When Davie fire Lt. Richard Stroes heard that a Parkland dad was suing a gun manufacturer over his daughter’s death at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High, he took to Facebook to vent his rage. The firefighter called Fred Guttenberg a “scumbag,” accusing him of trying to “profit” off the loss of…
At World Patent Marketing, every idea was a winner. The now-defunct Miami Beach-based scam invention company, which employed acting Attorney General Matthew Whitaker as a paid advisory board member, greenlighted virtually everything it was pitched. In fact, the Federal Trade Commission found that sales reps were instructed to turn down an…
The Florida 2018 midterm election is finally, mercifully over. Gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum and longtime Sen. Bill Nelson have conceded their races to Republican challengers who openly stoked racist and anti-immigrant hatred in order to win. Broward’s embattled and bungling supervisor of elections, Brenda Snipes, has resigned…
After enduring criticism from all sides, including the White House and U.S. Senate, Broward County’s supervisor of elections, Brenda Snipes, has resigned, the Sun Sentinel and others reported Sunday.
Rent in Miami is not quite as expensive as New York, San Francisco, and other major metro areas. But compared to those towns, Miami’s median income — around $46,000 — is absurdly tiny. As such, Miamians wind up spending some of the largest portions of…
