Despite an enthusiastic toast to boyfriend Dwyane Wade’s fathering skills and something that maybe, possibly looked like a, ugh, “baby bump,” Gabrielle Union wants you to know that she is not pregnant with Wade’s child. Which is a shame, considering we’re pretty sure that a Wade baby could come out…
Television audiences are apparently totally sick of new and innovative concepts, so Hollywood has decided to give them crappy reworks of old shows. Yes, ABC is planning on bringing Charlie’s Angels back to your boob tube but with some hot new twists: it’ll be set in Miami and will be…
An attempt by local police and U.S. Marshals to serve an arrest warrant on a murder suspect in Liberty City turned into a violent shootout this morning, leaving multiple officers injured — and two dead in the line of duty. Officer Roger Castillo died on the scene during the gun…
Rick Scott’s campaign for governor wasn’t especially social media savvy, but who needs to take little things like Twitter into account when you’ve got tens of millions of your own money to spend? Once in office, though, the Republican governor was faced with the realization that despite being elected by…
How good is Luis Posada Carriles’ English? That has become a central issue in the trial of the 82-year-old Cuban, who is charged with 11 counts of perjury, obstruction and immigration fraud for lying during immigration proceedings. On Wednesday, Federal prosecutors played tapes of the CIA operative answering questions in…
A mother and her adult son were fatally stabbed Wednesday night during a domestic dispute in a West Miami Dade home. The killer then turned the knife on himself but survived. When police arrived shortly after 7 p.m. at a home on 133rd Place and Southwest 58th Terrace, they found…
About ten years ago, gardener to the stars Harry Sickle Nelson — yes, his middle name is an agricultural tool — decided to do a little work on his own home in upscale Morningside. The olive-skinned 53-year-old brought in minions with hoes, bobcats, sledgehammers, chainsaws, and shovels. By 2003, the…
The famed molesters under Julia Tuttle Causeway were never the only homeless colony in town. And now that those persecuted pervs have been dispatched to God-knows-where, we can give some overdue media attention to other, less Hannah Montana-lovin’, local bands of merry hobos. One such band: Camp Merrill, named after…
As the saga of Miami Police Chief Miguel Exposito’s war with Mayor Tomás Regalado rages on, a new development could fuel the battle between the two estranged friends over illegal gambling in the city’s bodegas and cafeterias. New Times has obtained video footage of what looks like a man winning…
Is any city more firmly locked in the brimstone-y grasp of Satan than Miami? Lustful tourists gape at topless sunbathers while the rest of us worship a false idol who’s so prideful he gets Swarovski to sponsor his birthday cake. Our police chief and mayor, meanwhile, carry on a wrathful…
James Cason marched past the hostile glares of Cuba’s minister of interior and a handful of generals gathered inside the air control tower at Havana’s José Martí International Airport. It was early in the morning on April 1, 2003, and the officials didn’t say a word to the blue-eyed, gray-haired…
With a 2-2 record, the Lingerie Football League’s Miami Caliente weren’t only technically the most successful pro football team in South Florida this year, they also were the sexiest. Of course, that’s half the point of the Lingerie Football League, and it was only really a mater of time before…
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Among the many activities best done while relatively sober, walking a baby in a stroller along US-1 would have to be fairly high on the list. Raymond Dascott learned that lesson in Marathon yesterday, when he passed out on the ground next to the stroller after telling a passerby he’d…
Five teens have been arrested following a robbery in Marion County, Florida in which they allegedly stole the cremated remains of the homeowner’s father and two Great Danes. The teens thought the ashes were either cocaine or heroin. This is only slightly stupider than the time Keith Richards admitted to…
We haven’t heard much out of Kendrick Meek since he came in third place in the senate race behind Marco Rubio and Charlie Crist. With the congressional seat he could have held for the rest of his life now held by the collection of hats known as Frederica Wilson, Meek…
It wasn’t that long ago when you could spot Lil Wayne sitting front row at AAA rooting on Dwyane Wade and the Miami Heat (one instance of which was immortalized in cake format), but apparently Wayne is a Heat fan no more. No, he’s not pissed about “The Decision” like…
Rex Ryan is high on the hate list of most Miami sports fans. In his tenure as head coach with the Jets, he’s managed to find innovative, almost unbelievable ways to make the team even trashier. Yet former Dolphin’s exec Bill Parcells admits that Ryan was his second choice to…
And Karmapocalypse 2011 continues.While LeBron James was all healed up from his ankle injury and back on the court, it was Chris Bosh who was forced to sit out with a bum ankle. So we all got a glimpse into a Miami Heat team sans Bosh. And the result was…
When people think Miami, the first thing that pops into their mind’s eyes is boobs. Big, beach ball boobs. But we’re so much more than that. We are also crazy-huge booties and rock hard six-pack abs. We are tans the color of Key Biscayne sunsets and weird Barbie hair that…
When did Colombia’s avian population fall into a desperate life of drug running? First, there was Lorenzo the Parrot, who was arrested last fall for acting as a look-out for a weed and weapons stash. Now comes word this morning that Colombian police have detained a pigeon that was trying…
George N. Gibson has a dream. That one day all Miamians — gay and straight, HIV-positive and -negative, black and white — will attend church together in old timey clothes, speak directly to the Lord, wash one another’s feet during Communion, and play music on wooden washboards.Now that dream has…
