Matt Drudge Buys a $1.45 Million Safari Home in the Redland

Reclusive conservative news aggregator Matt Drudge of DrudgeReport.com infamy just plopped down $1.45 million cash for a new bunker way, way out in the Redland. Drudge, who rose to fame and riches after breaking the first bit of news about the Monica Lewinksy affair, has lived and maintained his site…

The Dolphins Nearly Pulled It Off This Time. Honestly!

The Flying Bag of Penis that is the Miami Dolphins nearly went and fucked things up by almost winning a game yesterday. But Suck For Luck is alive and well after the New York Giants woke up from their zombie-like state and handed Miami their seventh loss of the season…

Miami Cop Fausto Lopez’s 120 MPH Turnpike Drive Caught On Video

​How often does one grainy police video end up capturing the best and worst of local cops? One on side, there’s Fausto Lopez — a 35-year-old Miami police officer whose name immediately joins the bad cop pantheon of Adam Tavss, Derick Kuilan and Lavont Flanders after he led a Florida…

Plane Crash Kills Two at Richards Field Airport in Redland

​​A small plane crash at a private airfield in Redland killed two people this morning.Miami-Dade police recieved a 911 call reporting a downed plane at 10:22 a.m. When officers arrived in Redland, they found a bright yellow single-engine fixed-wing aircraft smashed into the ground about 1,000 feet from the Richards…

305 Photo of the Day: MiMo

Today’s photo comes from Burnt Umber’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group. Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…

School Sign Misspelled as “Scohol” in South Florida, Again

Sure, there’s book smarts and then there’s street smarts, but the streets in South Florida have never been too bright. A road sign painted on Pine Island Road in Lauderhill has been misspelled as “SCOHOL.” It shouldn’t surprise anyone that this is a fairly regular occurrence in South Florida…

Drunk Miami Man Steals BMW from Crash Scene on I-75

Alligator Alley may be one of the country’s most boring drives, unless, of course, you happen to be joy riding in a stolen BMW while drunk. That’s what Miami resident Richard Jouel Abraham allegedly did yesterday, but now he’s sitting in the slammer…

Eight Reasons Why Florida is a Real-Life Horror Movie

Time for a little Halloween honesty: Florida is terrifying. Serial killers Ted Bundy and Gary Ray Bowles have stalked our towns. Prehistoric, sharp-fanged creatures circle our swamps and oceans, hungry for blood. Real-life vampires kill their victims and slit their throats. In fact, the Sunshine State has enough real monsters…

Tebowing Is Your Latest Internet Craze

Not since “Paula Deen Riding Things” has a scene in Miami taken the Internet by meme storm. After defeating the Dolphins in his first NFL career start last weekend, Tim Tebow got down on one knee, clenched a fist, and proceeded to take a quick prayer break while the rest…

Yeremiah Bell Disses Reggie Bush: “He Stinks”

There’s something rotten in Dolphinville. With the team trudging along winless, fans resorting to a “Suck for Luck” mindset, and a soon-to-be-fired Tony Sparano putting his house on the market, players on the team are understandably frustrated and lashing out like angry kids during a long car ride. Earlier this…