Keep Out! Someone recently regaled me with too many details concerning a bout of food poisoning she suspected having caught at the raw bar of a waterfront seafood restaurant in Coconut Grove. I hear such tales quite often, and as one who dines out multiple times weekly, can sympathize with…
The Rapture: Singing in the name of vodka Say what you will about the superficiality that permeates our sun-drenched city, but once in a while a bash rolls around that draws you to the uber-fab VIP posse like a coke-whore to an ugly, short, rich sugar daddy. This Tuesday Nocturnal…
This past Tuesday night, professional football player Terrell Owens was mingling and chilling with his crew at the Delano Hotel for Tommy Pooch’s and Alan Roth’s weekly dinner fete. The controversial wide receiver clutched a slender curly haired maiden in one hand and, in the other, a martini glass containing…
They said this was the cutting edge… Thinking they’d save money by opting out of a $250,000 county-wide police radio system, Florida International University administrators this past summer bought an $85,000 Motorola system instead. For the main campus’s 40 cops, it’s been all downhill since then, according to an officer…
Lightweights need not apply Traveling the world, knocking back copious amounts of alcoholic beverages, and pocketing $200,000 in the process — doesn’t sound much like hard work, does it? But for one pair of lucky bastards this could soon become a full-time job — well, for a year, anyway. And…
America, the Test Filed under: Flotsam The feds are going to pilot a new citizenship test (less history trivia, more focus on “fundamental concepts” and “basic values”) in ten cities, including Miami. How would the average American Joe perform as an aspiring citizen? A preliminary sidewalk quiz of a few…
Go on let ya top down, fuck it blow a couple grand/Treat her like an animal, make her do a handstand/Club Rollexx (lex), you can stunt yo/I stood on a Rolex smokin’ on a blunt hoe. — Rick Ross, “For da Low,” Port of Miami The video for Rick Ross’s…
The directions were easy enough. Head west on Tamiami Trail. Two miles past the Miccosukee Indian water tower, make a left onto Loop Road, the scenic 23-mile stretch in the southernmost portion of Big Cypress National Preserve where Miami-Dade, Collier, and Monroe counties converge. Continue west for another seven miles…
Once an ink-stained wretch… New Times’s former editor Jim Mullin inked a deal yesterday to buy The Biscayne Times. The paper was voted Best Neighborhood Newspaper in New Times’s 2005 Best Of Miami edition. With a circulation of 25,000, the paper is distributed free to homes and businesses along the…
Fidel Castro is dying. Again. For those who don’t know, Spanish newspaper El Pais is reporting that Castro has had at least three failed operations and complications stemming from an intestinal operation and faces a “grave prognosis.” The newspaper says that after one operation, feces leaked into Fidel’s abdomen. But…
U.S. District Judge Jose E. Martinez has a bad habit of not disclosing apparent conflicts of interests. First came that business on February 28, 2005, when Martinez failed to mention he was a Eucharistic minister, a spiritual leader who serves communion during Catholic mass, when he overturned a verdict compelling…
I’d had a particularly castrating Friday at the office —the kind that ends at 8:30 and requires several beers to forget. I’d also been running on empty all day — literally. In a frenzied hunt for documents, the little gas light on the dashboard burned bright and the needle had…
Underthebusmiami.com is the spawn of thesmokinggun.com and the defunct thedirtmiami.com. The new blog appears to have started this week, chock full ‘o restraining orders, South Beach gossip and tax lein scandals. One entertaining thread highlights a feud between Mynt/Rok Bar owner Roberto Caan and his (former?) Rok Bar business partner…
It was time to take a stand. The goddamned Miami Beach Police Department had given me a $38 “parking in a restricted zone” ticket for…. Well, parking in a restricted zone. But they did it on Christmas Eve. There was no muss, no fuss. There was not even a “Merry…
I have been through a lot in my years as a journalist. Hurricanes, riots, coma-inducing press conferences on Capitol Hill. But I have never been hit on the head by a puppet. Not until today. I was standing on the corner of NW 87th Ave and 36th St. in Doral…
Pintos need not apply “Dedicating and doting” are words generally associated more with a tireless nurse or a mother on a mission. The Regent South Beach now wants them to link them to another category of servants: valet parkers. To be sure, valets are an integral element of the American…
The iron and concrete Sweetwater City Hall and Police Complex feels like some kind of futuristic frontier outpost. The forbidding building juts out of the tiny swampside town’s one-story landscape of small homes and gritty shopping centers like a stumpy obelisk. An inflatable Santa Claus and a few strings of…
Lincoln-Douglas It Wasn’t Filed under: News Some words of advice to Mayor Carlos Alvarez and his supporters: Don’t let state Sen. Gwen Margolis do any more debating for the strong mayor ballot proposal. On January 4, Margolis and county Commissioner Sally Heyman debated the potential increase in Alvarez’s powers, including…
Carlos Rios Otero is trying to write a note, but his black pen has run out of ink. He shakes it furiously, tries to scribble on a piece of thin white paper, and then tosses it on the table. He shoots the pen a nasty glare, grabs it again, and…
In 2001, when Vishnu Maharaj was hired as facility manager of the Crandon Park Tennis Center, the complex took in only $9400 per year in court fees. Corrupt employees pocketed cash instead of putting it into the register. The courts were in disrepair, and player amenities, like water coolers and…
The Miami City Commission is backing away from shutting down the homeless shantytown in Liberty City – at least for now. Commissioner Michelle Spence-Jones told the New Times on Monday that after visiting the shanty village – named Umoja, or “unity” in Swahili – she decided to nix a proposal…
Lots of restaurant deaths to report in the Miami dining world these days. For those keeping score: SouthWest NY didn’t last a New York minute in the Dolphin Mall. Maybe it’s because the menu read like a fast food Tex-Mex joint (“with French and Latin influences”) — which is not…
