Introducing The Juice

So for a while now, our Broward New Times brethren blog spot has been home to The Daily Pulp, your first stop for all South Florida media news and gossip. Now Pulp has a new sibling of sorts. Please welcome The Juice, a blog all about Orenthal James Simpson the,…

Bettie Page Pioneered Coming to Miami and Posing Nude

Yesterday America lost its original X-rated superstar in celebrated pin-up girl Bettie Page. Bettie wasn’t born a superstar. She started life as a good girl in Tennessee and was salutatorian of her class. At age 20, she married a high school classmate and lived for a short time in Miami…

Miami Cops: Fake Gardeners Will Rob Your House

Geez, who can you trust these days? Definitely not those friendly neighborhood landscapers trying to give you a free estimate on your lawn, according to the Miami PD.Last week, grandparents Santiago and Gladys Rodriguez answered the door at their Coral Gables home just off Coral Way to find two men…

News Roundup

Two employees of a wire company are charged with stealing remittances that were supposed to head to Cuba. [Herald]Names on the invite list for the straight wedding of the century are leaking. Crist has invited a bunch of political-type people, old FSU frat bros, donors and lobbyists like Ron Book…

Barcelona’s MLS Bid Might Not Pan Out

A fair number of locals were excited that a Major League Soccer team might be coming back to Miami, especially under the guidance of FC Barcelona, but here comes The New York Times soccer blog with their vicious theories and reporting to rain on our parade. While they still say…

Courtroom Antics From One of Miami’s Strangest

Victor-Hugo Vaca has a creative way of getting his point across. To protest the nastiness of bureaucracy, the wayward, fiercely opinionated, Naval officer-turned-artist has tried everything from running for US President to hanging four-foot penis paintings across from the VIP section at Art Basil. Wherever he goes, controversy seems to…

Guantanamo Interrogators Torture Inmates with Britney Spears

So apparently our military has decided to use what they call a ‘sonic bludgeon’ in order to get information out of prisoners with out actually using, you know, physical torture. This is truly American innovation at its best! Interrogators at military prisons like Guantanamo Bay blast songs, like Britney Spear’s…

Ted Turner and Bill O’Reilly Squabble Over Castro

Media magnate Ted Turner famously got the idea for CNN International from Fidel Castro, and he remains unabashed in his admiration for the dictator. Turner made his debut on The O’Reilly Factor last night, and for once we are actually agreeing with Bill O’Reilly. Turner says he admires the bearded…

Ann Coulter Hates Newspapers

For some reason, syndicated newspaper columnist Ann Coulter would very much like to see newspapers die. Presumably because information is a tool of the secular left. She says this is good for news because, uh, it will create more competition. Even though, in South Florida’s case, the popular theory is…

Mickey Rourke Is a Golden Globe Nominee! “Che”? Not So Much

Miami’s very own actor/nutcase extraordinaire Mickey Rourke just got himself nominated for a Best Actor Golden Globe for his work in The Wrestler. Hell yeah, we’ll be drunk scooter-ing in celebration tonight! Rourke will be up against Leonardo DiCaprio, Sean Penn, Brad Pitt, and Frank Langella come awards night. Conspicuously…

Pedophilic Weatherman Released from Jail

Never use the Internet when you’re laid up with food poisoning, and never trust your own legal defense. Those are the lessons supposedly learned from the bizarre criminal saga of former WSVN Channel 7 weatherman Bill Kamal, who was released from jail last week. In actuality, Kamal, using the screen name…

Gitmo Inches Toward Its Final Days, or Does It?

Over the weekend, the Pentagon airlifted a slew of reporters and a handful of family members of 9/11 victims to Guantanamo Bay to watch the latest in the trial of five prisoners.What was mostly meant as a photo op turned into a genuine, huge news story when all five detainees,…

News Roundup

Hairgelz Carvalho will actually be suing the state for $35 million, thank you very much. [CBS4]Rep. David Rivera won the chairmanship of Miami-Dade’s Republican party by just one vote. Outgoing chair Mary Ellen Miller moved the vote, leaving state legislators who favored Rivera’s opponent, Carlos Curbelo, little time to travel…

Wacked-Out Weirdness at Art Basel

Art Basel was a bit more subdued this year. Unlike previous editions, there were no art dealers in Mexican wrestling masks laying chokeholds on unsuspecting collectors, or Brooklyn biker gangs showering stuffy Euro tourists with streams of wet oatmeal from a five-foot-long rubber dong called “The Squizzer.” Still, there was…

Hey, Miami, You’re Stupid

Miami has always had its share of buffoons and dolts, but last week was especially noteworthy in its level of boneheaded stupidity. First, Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen hung up on Barack Obama when he called her, figuring the president-elect was a South Florida DJ playing a prank. Obama’s notoriously bad-ass chief…

Can a Kimbo Slice Protégé Become a Ghetto Superstar?

It’s a sunny, arid afternoon in Perrine, a suburb in southwest Miami-Dade. At the corner of 179th Street and 104th Avenue, a crowd of about 50 people has gathered in the dusty front yard of a lime-green house. The sweet, pungent smell of marijuana wafts through the air as DJ…

Must Love Meth

Despite the talk of rising unemployment, Riptide has found work for members of South Florida’s lighter-fluid-and-Drano-ingesting set. Coral Gables pharmaceutical outfit Catalyst is developing Vigabatrin, an anticonvulsive medication used in Europe to combat cocaine and meth addiction. The company touts it as the first effective addiction-killer for those drugs and…

Chez Che

Frail figures were bathed in flashes of red and blue police lights as wrinkled arms swung cardboard signs. Around twilight last Wednesday, dozens of Cuban-Americans, most of them elderly and angry, took turns screaming Spanish epithets into fuzzy-sounding bullhorns. “Che is a liar!” Jose Mizrahi, age 79, bellowed as he…