5.1 Magnitude Earthquake Startles and Confuses Cubans, Floridians

Prior to yesterday, most Floridians’ experience with the Richter scale was limited to the former Universal Studios attraction, Earthquake: The Big One. At around 4 p.m. Thursday afternoon, a rare, 5.1-magnitude earthquake struck outside Cuba leaving residents of the seismically stable country — and some South Floridians — slightly confused…

Miamians Complain About Weather as Rest of Country Freezes

If you’re a working stiff like us, you might have noticed a slight change in your routine this morning. You hopped out of bed ready to take on the day, your planned outfit of cut-off shorts and flip-flops neatly arranged atop your dresser. Next, you sat at your computer and…

Alligators Prevail in Rematch Against Pythons (Photo)

A 2006 image of the aftermath of an Everglades showdown between an invasive Burmese python and a native alligator has become oddly iconic in all its gruesome glory. Neither animal survived the encounter. Well, authorities in the Everglades recently discovered a rematch, and let’s just say this time it was…

Someone in the Keys Is Torturing Pelicans

It began December 6 when a boat captain discovered a pelican on Summerland Key that was all but sure to starve. Someone had cut two six-inch lacerations in the bird, which exposed the creature’s trachea and prevented it from swallowing food. Since that gruesome find, at least ten other birds…

Florida Fisherman Nabs 800-Pound Stingray Off Miami Beach

Mark Quartiano has drawn many comparisons to famous fishermen throughout history. In August 1991, Life magazine called him a modern Captain Ahab. Exactly 20 years later, author Juliet Eilperin coined the name Captain Quint (from Jaws) for him. But Quartiano didn’t make waves this weekend over a shark or a…

Du Pont Mansion in Coconut Grove Is Buried in Poison

At the end of a leafy, dead-end street in Coconut Grove, past actor Christian Slater’s new digs and the sprawling grounds of Hollywood director David Frankel’s home, sit mounds of rubble. Just a few days ago, this was one of Miami’s grandest, most envied private homes: the five-acre, 26,000-square-foot du…

28 Monkeys Seized From Black Market Sales Ring in Miami

If you look hard enough you’ll be able to find just about anything for sale on Miami’s black market, apparently, including monkeys. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission announced today that they’ve cracked down on an illegal business that was breeding and selling monkeys, and seized 28 primates from…

Florida Wants To Use Drones To Fight Mosquitoes

According to Phys.org the Florida Keys Mosquito Control District is evaluating how realistic it could be to use drones aka “unmanned aerial vehicles” in the battle against Mosquitoes. Hell yeah, science! The battery powered war machines would weight less than two pounds and be equipped with tiny infrared cameras, apparently…

South Florida Is Having a Sand Shortage Crisis

You would think that if there’s one thing South Florida has too much of its sand. You end up with at least half a pound of it in your car after every trip to the beach, and yet the great sand shortage of 2013 is upon is. Seriously, we’re running…

To See Stars and Meteors, Miamians Must Take A Road Rarely Traveled

The Perseid meteor shower ended last night, a fact that probably escaped most citizens of Miami. As city dwellers, we have to contend with the omnipresence of electricity, an invention that is anathema to star gazing. In order to take advantage of the once-a-year phenomenon, Riptide had to travel far…

First-Ever Shark C-Section Performed In Florida By Dr. Lara Croft

Veterinarians at SeaWorld Orlando have successfully performed the first-ever shark C-Section, the theme park announced yesterday. The three-pound whitetip reef pups are the latest additions to the 30 sharks at Discovery Cove, the pricey sister park of SeaWorld that allows patrons to cuddle with bottleneck dolphins while Instagramming a variety…

Tropical Storm Chantal Is Dead

Tropical Storm Chantal was pronounced dead today at approximately 4:40 p.m. after dissipating in the Caribbean Sea about 260 miles south of Cuba. So all you relatively newly arrived folk who haven’t gone through this hundreds of times before can all stop freaking out. Though, Chantal’s remnants could still make…