Raising the Speed Limit to 75 Is Ludicrous; Lower It to 55

My God! Rick Scott did something right. Florida’s governor announced yesterday he will veto a bill, approved by the state Senate and House, that would raise the speed limit on much oft the state’s highway system. Though law enforcement mostly supported the plan — Scott proposed the veto after attending…

Miami’s Ten Best Hidden Parks

It’s Earth Day, which at the very least means you should figure out some time to be outside and be one with nature today. Miami, of course, is the only major city sandwiched between two national parks (Everglades to the west, Biscayne to the east), but there’s plenty of green…

Baby Baboon Born at Jungle Island

Isis, a four year-old baboon at Jungle Island, is experiencing her first joys of motherhood after giving birth to a newborn baby yesterday. Which means obviously that she already wants to share the baby photos with you. See also: Tiny Florida Panther Kitten Rescued from Abandonment Is Adorable…

Someone Is Feeding All of Gould’s Friendly Raccoons to Pythons

The raccoons of Cauley Square will nibble on your shoe laces, crawl over your feet and brush up against your legs. They are wild but not rabid. They are cuddly but also conniving. Emboldened by decades of free reign, these intelligent creatures have turned treacherous. And they are legion. That’s…

Federal Agency: Bermuda Triangle Is Officially Not Supernatural

Miami is bizarre enough of a place already that sometimes we forget it’s one of three corners of the Bermuda Triangle, the purportedly supernatural stretch of the Atlantic Ocean where, according to myth, ships go missing under mysterious circumstances. Well, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Agency has released a statement…

5.1 Magnitude Earthquake Startles and Confuses Cubans, Floridians

Prior to yesterday, most Floridians’ experience with the Richter scale was limited to the former Universal Studios attraction, Earthquake: The Big One. At around 4 p.m. Thursday afternoon, a rare, 5.1-magnitude earthquake struck outside Cuba leaving residents of the seismically stable country — and some South Floridians — slightly confused…

Miamians Complain About Weather as Rest of Country Freezes

If you’re a working stiff like us, you might have noticed a slight change in your routine this morning. You hopped out of bed ready to take on the day, your planned outfit of cut-off shorts and flip-flops neatly arranged atop your dresser. Next, you sat at your computer and…

Alligators Prevail in Rematch Against Pythons (Photo)

A 2006 image of the aftermath of an Everglades showdown between an invasive Burmese python and a native alligator has become oddly iconic in all its gruesome glory. Neither animal survived the encounter. Well, authorities in the Everglades recently discovered a rematch, and let’s just say this time it was…

Someone in the Keys Is Torturing Pelicans

It began December 6 when a boat captain discovered a pelican on Summerland Key that was all but sure to starve. Someone had cut two six-inch lacerations in the bird, which exposed the creature’s trachea and prevented it from swallowing food. Since that gruesome find, at least ten other birds…

Florida Fisherman Nabs 800-Pound Stingray Off Miami Beach

Mark Quartiano has drawn many comparisons to famous fishermen throughout history. In August 1991, Life magazine called him a modern Captain Ahab. Exactly 20 years later, author Juliet Eilperin coined the name Captain Quint (from Jaws) for him. But Quartiano didn’t make waves this weekend over a shark or a…