Daily Show Reporter Asks Rick Scott to Pee in a Cup

You can bet that whoever let The Daily Show correspondent Aasif Mandvi into increasingly unpopular Gov. Rick Scott’s press conference today is going to get a dressing down tonight. The comedian, who we’re assuming is preparing an upcoming piece on Scott for the show, asked the governor to pee in…

Marlins Will Make Jose Reyes Cut His Dreads

Good thing the Marlins are the only team in the MLB with an official barber, because newly signed Jose Reyes will have to sit down in Hugo Tandron’s chair soon. Reyes has sported shoulder length dreadlocks for the better part of his career with the Mets, but the Fish have…

Could Jeb Bush Still Enter the GOP Presidential Primary?

The Confederacy of Dunces that emerged to vie for the GOP presidential primary certainly must have some could-have-been candidates rethinking their decision. After the swift, and often surreal, rises and eventual falls of Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Herman Cain, the race is pretty much down to Newt Ginrich (at…

Are Seaquarium Animals Harmed by Excessive Partying?

After two dolphins died at a Swiss marine park following a “techno party” across the street, Miami Seaquarium is taking a good, reasoned look at whether hosting late-night parties is putting its animals in danger. Just kidding! But putting a stop to such parties is the new rallying cry of…

Elian Gonzalez Turns 18, Calls ‘Cuban Five’ Spy To Celebrate

Elian Gonzalez is all growed up! Miami’s favorite raft-boy turned Cuban propaganda machine turned 18 last night, and in proper Revolutionary fashion celebrated not with a pack of cigarettes or a bottle of rum from his parents liquor stash but with a phone call to Rene Gonzalez, a “Cuban Five”…

Naked Boat Thief Darrel Horne to Police: “Taser Me, Bro”

Back in 2007, University of Florida student Andrew Meyer delivered the ultimate stun gun catch phrase when he pleaded with police, “Don’t Tase me, bro.” Four years later, another Florida 20-something, Darrel Horne, asked police to “Taser me, bro” while naked and on the run after stealing a boat. Unlike…

Albert Pujols Offered 10-Year Contract by Marlins

SEC probes and baffling aesthetic choices aside, the Miami Marlins really do deserve credit for keeping good on their promise of upping their payroll and making the team a serious contender. A day after adding prized shortstop Jose Reyes, ESPN is reporting that the Fish have made a 10-year contract…