Jets Coach Rex Ryan Wants an Apology from Reggie Bush

The Jets are at the bottom of their division, 29th in total offense, 30th in containing opponents’ rushing yards, and have just about the most embarrassing quarterback situation in the league. Yet, Rex Ryan seems to be really concerned about Miami Dolphins running back Reggie Bush’s manners…

Mitt Romney Apparently Uses Spray Tan

So remember when Mitt Romney showed up at the University of Miami looking a little brown around the face? A make-up artist ended up taking the blame, saying that he used a bit of MAC foundation that was too dark on the candidate.Well, sources who spoke to BuzzFeed says there’s…

Stephen Ross Had “Serious” Talks About Selling the Dolphins

Calls for the head of owner Stephen Ross have died down as the Miami Dolphins have magically managed not to completely blow their season so far. Hell, technically we’re sixth in the AFC in the playoff standings!But over the past two years Jordan Zimmerman, an advertising honcho and limited partner…

Ozzie Guillen Fired as Miami Marlins Manager

Ozzie Guillen came to Miami as the new Marlins manager just over a year ago. What followed was a Fidel Castro controversy, a lot of odd outbursts, and yet another season of typical Marlins disappointment. Now, with three years and $7.5 million left on his contract, the Marlins have officially…

Conan O’Brien’s Tuneful Ode to the Voters of Florida

As per usual, Florida could play a decisive role in the upcoming presidential election, and at least Conan O’Brien thinks Floridians and Floridians alone can be trusted with deciding the fate of the White House for the next four years. Because, after all, this state is nothing but “a shining…

Health Department Study Finds No Cancer Cluster In Northwest Miami

The Miami-Dade County Health Department has officially released its findings on the cancer scare in northwest Dade: There’s no cluster in Broadmoor, they say.”We have not found or identified a cluster,” says Lillian Rivera, the Health Department’s administrator. “Based on the incidence and methodology of our study, this community is…

NBA GMs Predict Heat to Beat Lakers in Finals

Last year, the NBA’s general managers picked the Miami Heat to beat the Oklahoma City Thunder for the championship in their annual preseason poll. These guys know their stuff, obviously.This year they’re predicting the Miami Heat versus Los Angeles Lakers finals the world has been patiently waiting for ever since…

Naked Woman Shot By Off-Duty Cops in Florida

A naked woman who crashed a party and started yelling about the Antichrist was shot and killed by two off-duty police officers in the Tampa-area over the weekend. The woman has been identified as 42-year-old Inga Marie Swanson. Her boyfriend says that she was worried about the End Times…