Listen, people: If there’s one thing we know about you, it’s that you have an opinion. And you live in Miami, so you’re not shy about sharing it. Do you think Afrobeta is a better band than Jacuzzi Boys? Does the Abbey sling tastier drinks than the Broken Shaker? Do…
Miami futbol fans salivating over the Spain vs. Haiti friendly next month at Sun Life Stadium may want to put on their adult diapers before reading this headline: David Beckham himself is coming to Miami this week to meet a billionaire financier to discuss bringing a Major League Soccer franchise…
The Indiana Pacers beat the Heat Tuesday night 99-92 in a game that provided Heat fans with enough testicular torsion to last a lifetime. With the Spurs already in the clubhouse, the NBA sent Joey Crawford his Verne Troyer penis-looking face out to throw his entire bag of fouls onto…
Last week, St. Theresa Catholic School crushed cross-town rivals Coral Gables Prep to win the Miami-Dade Geography Bee. Yes, we know, this news does not make up for the Pacers edging out the Heat last night. But before you go back to sticking pins in your Roy Hibbert voodoo doll,…
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This Memorial Day weekend may have been slightly less headline-grabbing than in years past, but police on Miami Beach were still plenty busy. They made 414 arrests during the five-day weekend that coincides with Urban Beach Week, a number that is slightly up from the 373 recorded last year…
Two Papa John’s employees in Sanford, Florida have been fired after accidentally leaving a profanity and racial slur-laced voicemail for a customer. The message had apparently been left after a “butt dial,” and one of the employes launches into a rendition of “The Marriage of Figaro” tinged with racial slurs…
If you’re a columnist at a big metro daily, there’s never really a great time to lash out at a Vietnam vet by telling him he “must still be pissed off he lost” the war and adding, “I’m sure the South Vietnamese appreciated you sucking as a soldier, failing in…
In one of the most shocking twists to occur in Miami-Dade County over the past several Memorial Day weekends, nothing absolutely bat-shit insane occurred to forced locals to question the decency of the human species and the meaning of life itself. After the 2011 Memorial Day Weekend during which police…
Somewhere in Miami, a bookie is drawing up long odds on Chris Delamo living out the week. That’s because this college dropout with a penchant for political pranks has decided to take to this city’s mean streets for seven days to see what it’s really like to be homeless. He’s…
Bet ya didn’t know the high-school coach with the most state titles in Miami-Dade County isn’t involved with football, basketball, or baseball. Heck, the championship leader doesn’t work with boys either. She’s Carmen Jackson, head coach of the girls’ track-and-field club at Miami Northwestern Senior High School, where she’s racked…
Nobody makes the Miami Heat bleed their own blood. Once again the Heat followed one of those rare annoying things people call “a loss” with an epic ass-stomping performance, this time a 114-96 game three win over Indiana. Miami’s shooting was locked in all night, led by Udonis Haslem who…
A male student at Redland Middle School was airlifted to a hospital today after being shot around 2:30 this afternoon on school grounds by another student. According to Local 10, the boy was a sixth grader and was grazed in the leg by the bullet…
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The Simpson family was officially banned from Florida after Homer accidentally killing a famous alligator named Captain Jack in an 11th season episode, but apparently someone in Tallahassee lifted the ban because the Simpsons are officially moving to Florida. And they’re bringing the entire town of Springfield with them…
The Rickenbacker Causeway has proved a dangerous place for bike riders of late. Cyclists Aaron Cohen and Christophe LeCanne were killed by hit-and-run drivers in 2012 and 2010, respectively. Several other cyclists have been injured recently in similar incidents. But in the past two days, cyclists have started seeing an…
A carjacking ended this morning with an assist from Mother Nature. After trying to evade police the suspects ended up crashing the stolen ride into a tree. At about 2 a.m. this morning police received reports of a carjacking near NE 33rd Street and Biscayne (you know, in the safe…
In January, Keskea Hernandez was whisked from her cell at the Federal Detention Center downtown to Larkin hospital in South Miami. The pretty 42-year-old real estate agent had pleaded guilty to mortgage fraud a year earlier. Ever since her incarceration, however, her health had been in free fall. She was…
After a seven-year hiatus, cult sitcom Arrested Development returns on Netflix this weekend. Of course, in Miami, a city of sociopathic, vain crooks you might not be aware that a show about a family of sociopathic, vain crooks has been off the air for so long. In fact, since the…
Well, at least his neighbors hopefully won’t have to complain anymore about all the filming that was going down there Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez has reportedly sold his Miami Beach mansion for $30 million. He had bought the home in 2010 (while dating Cameron Diaz) for $7.4 million and then…
The actual gubernatorial election is more than a year and a half away, but Republicans have already dug in their heels by attacking Rick Scott’s presumptive Democratic challenger. Mostly that’s involved throwing barbs at former Republican Charlie Crist, who may or may not actually run, and who may or may…
Earlier this week, in a cringe-worthy turn of phrase The Miami Herald business section declared that Miami’s Edgewater neighborhood is “located at the intersection of funky and trendy” after realizing, a few years too late, the neighborhood has experienced some classic gentrification. Of course, the Herald only bothered to get…
