Swarms of rowdy beachgoers erupted into violent brawls. Police were overwhelmed as they tried to quell the chaos. Dozens ended up arrested while worried business owners looked on. Just another Memorial Day weekend in South Beach, right? Actually, not so much. That chaotic scene, in fact, went down yesterday in…
Don’t start none, won’t be none. Lance Stephenson, you picked the wrong dude, bruh. LeBron James farted thunder and shit lightning all Memorial Day long on his way to a 32-point, ten-rebound, five-assist night that was full of King Cobra hissssssss and the perfect rebuke to Stephenson’s talk before the…
Past the space-age immersion chamber and the full-body scanner that can detect minute fat deposits, Neiman Nix’s office is a testament to what happens when modern medicine falls short. The walls are hung with glossy photos of a fastball-hurling Nix in Cincinnati Reds and Milwaukee Brewers uniforms, but the hulking,…
Happy Memorial Day Miami Heat fans! Let’s basketball, shall we? The Heat are back at it tonight at the American Airlines Arena, with tip off set for 8:30. The Heat are in a position to take a commanding 3-1 series lead after a Ray Allen three-point barrage filled fourth quarter…
To all those who insist Miamians are fair-weather sports fans, we present Andy Salgado. Like many Miami Marlins fans, Salgado was expecting pitching phenom José Fernández to push the team into the playoffs this year. The reigning Rookie of the Year had started his second season as strongly as his…
Today’s photo comes from Blue Skyz Media’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group. Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Miami teenager Lele Pons may be the 305’s leading advocate of the “Do It for the Vine” attitude. The high-schooler has amassed 2.4 million followers on the six-second-video social media network thanks to her outrageous stunts. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if you walk up…
The big party starts tonight in South Beach, and local police are determined to keep drunk drivers out. (Makes sense, no?) With Urban Beach Week beginning in earnest this evening, local police will implement a DUI checkpoint on the eastbound MacArthur Causeway beginning at 8. A team of at least…
I hate taking taxis in Miami-Dade, but I depend on them. Without a car, I sometimes need a quick ride to events and to the office, which unfortunately has no convenient bus or trolley stops nearby. But the rights of passengers who use taxi services in the county are rarely…
Americans may hold politicians to sometimes ridiculously high personal moral standards, but we are pretty lax about youthful drug use. Hell, Obama and Bush II have done coke, but Marco Rubio has always refused to say whether he’s ever smoked pot. See also: Marco Rubio Used to Throw Up Drunk…
Last summer, Miami Lakes Mayor Michael Pizzi was arrested on the same day the feds nabbed another local mayor, Sweetwater’s Manuel Maroño. Both mayors were suspended form office by the governor and charged with taking bribes in exchange for bogus grants. While Maroño and two others, lobbyists Jorge Forte and…
Mark Cuban is the rarest of creatures in today’s sports world: an outspoken owner unafraid to speak his opinion on just about any topic, whether it’s his belief that the NBA should fund research into human growth hormone or his crusade to change U.S. patent law. Sometimes, though, the brutally…
Yesterday, David Beckham’s team of investors and real estate advisers unveiled an ambitious plan to build a soccer stadium atop what is now a boat slip on Biscayne Bay. “We want to bring the world’s greatest game to the world’s greatest city,” said Beckham’s Bolivian billionaire business partner, Marcelo Claure…
If you’re a scandal-plagued Republican governor, who better to campaign with you than another scandal-plagued Republican governor? Yes, New Jersey’s Chris Christie is in Florida this afternoon to help raise funds and campaign for good ol’ Rick Scott…
Today’s photo comes from Tom’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group. Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Today Miami Beckham United unveiled plans for what a soccer stadium sitting on land currently occupied by a boat slip next to American Airlines Arena would look like. With backing from both County Mayor Carlos Gimenez and City Mayor Tomas Regalado, the site has become the frontrunner for a new…
The Miami Dolphins are the exact opposite of fine wine, cheese and that hot cougar who lives down the street. They’re only getting worse with age, and it’s backed up by data. Data journalist Rob Barry pointed out on his website that the Fins are one of only two teams…
You might want to just stay in your SUV forever, Miami. Days after a study found that Florida cities dominated the list of America’s deadliest for pedestrians (with the Magic City clocking in fourth place), a new report has been released on the most dangerous locales in the U.S. for…
The American public might never get to know the entire history of the events that occurred during the failed Bay of Pigs invasion, not at least until the Central Intelligence Agency is finished revising the draft copy of its history, which seems unlikely to happen anytime soon. Earlier this week,…
Last Friday, Chris Underhill’s bike was stolen. He had taken a cousin from out of town to Mary Brickell Village, only to find his chain cut and his Giant Escape true to its name: gone. Underhill underwent the usual stages of stolen bike syndrome: disbelief, anger, and despair. He filled…
The goat doesn’t want to wear the undies. Can’t blame him. Plus-sized, bleached-white tighty whities are not very chic. A tall man, blue shirt tucked neatly into his jeans, holds up the animal’s brown-and-white-mottled back end, while his teammate, a squat woman, tries to work the underpants on. The goat’s…
Mary Baker knows Pinetree Park like the back of her hand. Every morning, she walks her dogs beneath its eponymous pines. And every evening, she returns. As the setting sun glints off Indian Creek to the east, butterflies flit around the community garden. On an island infamous for sin, the…
