News

Michael Vick is not inhumane. At least not if we employ the reasoning used by members of the Miami Chef’s Club, a group of local toques who meet over food and drink at one another’s establishments. As reported in the Herald (Tropical Life, August 16th), “some of the chefs resented…

So I read in today’s Miami Herald that Miami Police Chief John Timoney has been driving a free hybrid luxury SUV without claiming it on a required state conflict-of-interest form – and that Johnny Boy receives $8000 from taxpayers to lease a car. This is all thanks to CBS4’s Gary…

One of these guys wants to suck your blood President Hugo Chavez deserves a second nod for the “Most Memorable Use of Metaphor by a World Leader Making Verbal Attacks” award for a pair of recent barbs; the first stemming from his September 2006 verbal salvo comparing President George W…

A self-described “Coldwell Banker Couple” have started a website called Miamism.com. The purpose of the web site is unclear, but it appears to focus on things like Mediterranean revival and vague diatribes on the housing market. I don’t want to be mean here, but the site’s content would lead you…

Burger Sting Filed under: News It can’t feel good to get scolded by a nine-year-old. How about 100 of them? Burger King vice president Steven Grover might feel like he’s been sent to the corner after receiving several dozen handwritten letters of reprimand from children accusing his company of being…

Fidel Castro and Hugh Hefner have more in common than one would think. Both were born in 1926, the same year as Miles Davis, Marilyn Monroe, Queen Elizabeth, and Jerry Lewis. Both are responsible for revolutions of seismic proportions, and both are horn dogs — claiming to have slept with…

It’s the cutting edge of a rather troubled quest to engineer the perfect shark repellent. If pretty 19-year-old Ashley Silverman had known about Patrick Rice’s invention, a bull shark might not have chewed her forearm near Islamorada last week. Not only that — she could have improved her tan. Rice,…

Yeisleny Nodarse inhaled sharply when she walked into the Kendall Regional Medical Center’s intensive care unit. It was March 2007 and the pretty, raven-haired 20-year-old was there to visit her uncle, Rodolfo Ramos. But she barely recognized the man who lay in the bed before her. His eyes, once a…

“What is this cafe au lait of which you speak?” Maybe it was a last minute favor. Stanley Fish, a professor of law at Florida International University, filled in as a guest columnist on the New York Times’ Op-Ed page this past August 5. The piece he contributed, “Getting Coffee…

As the panic over Hurricane/Tropical Storm Dean ratchets up by the day, click on over to the Stuck on the Palmetto blog. There, Alex recounts his Havana childhood during hurricane season, braving high winds in the crumbling streets and big waves along the Malecon. It’s a great read. — Tamara…

I bought a shotgun some time ago from a private detective in the hopes that I would get better at shooting clay discs out of the sky. Don’t ask me why. It fills a void –like stamp collecting, or knitting, or alligator wrestling. But there is one major obstacle in…

This morning I decided to steer my Corn Flakes away from my usual peaches and strawberries and into the direction of my favorite yellow fruit, the banana. Funny, because one of our favorite bloggers, “’Klotz As In Blood,” was also going bananas about a story out of Tasmania. Indian police…

New York State Attorney General Andrew Cuomo expanded his investigation of student lenders and their relationship with universities recently by issuing subpoenas to 40 athletic departments across the nation. Florida is at the center of the new inquiries. In a statement issued by Cuomo on August 1, the attorney general…

Who ever heard of a vegetable oil-aholic? “We have a saying in our company: “Our competitors are our friends. Our customers are the enemy.” — A comment made in the early 1990s by Archer Daniels Midland (ADM)’s then-president James Randall, as quoted in Fast Food Nation The Archer Daniels Midland…

Don’t be alarmed, South Beach residents. The suspicious substance covering a Bay Road sidewalk — you know, the one that smells like shit and looks like what went down your toilet — is not what it seems. So says Mike Alvarez in explaining the stinky water with gobs of paper…

Tovin Lapan “There’s a lawsuit here,” groused a toothless gentleman wandering up N.W. 2nd Court as tan smoke billowed through the alleys between the neighborhood’s small pastel houses. He took a drink from a tall can of beer and gestured towards the burning asbestos warehouse to the west. “This shit…

Take one of these and don’t call us in the morning We at New Times neither advocate nor condone irresponsible behavior, but we do understand that a bottle (or two) of wine, a few candles, and a dark, storm-drenched sky can, how should we say, get you in the mood…

The Marlin Hotel’s dimly lit lobby is quieter than usual. A tall, bearded man wearing a checked paperboy cap points to a raggedy basketball jersey hanging on an easel; its bottom is tattered, the seams are busted, and the bright red color has faded to gray-maroon. It appears to have…

With his dad’s video camera in one hand and a borrowed field light in the other, 18-year-old aspiring filmmaker Lee Anthony Cipolla, accompanied by two buddies from Dr. Michael M. Krop Senior High School, sneaked into a condo construction site under the cover of darkness. “We didn’t have permits or…

“Happy” Mother’s Day, for $2.99 Filed under: Flotsam One night, back in 1999, at Monty’s on Miami Beach, Erik Goldman mused over the men buying cocktails for potential sheet-mates, and tallied up how much it costs for a guy to get laid. His calculation: $200, including dinner and drinks. There…