Florida: All Kinds of Available Whores

Adult Video News, the nation’s premier trade publication for the adult industry, has a big cover story on Florida in the latest edition. It’s the “new porn hot spot,” according to the story: “Believe it or not, what we do here is accepted,” says Craig Valentine, whose New Porn Order…

Biscayne Park Stargazers Seek Cooperative Clouds

Sort of like that We joined the gathering last Friday early – too early, it turned out, for a view of much of anything. It was an overcast night and I had to leave before the moon (then nearly full) exploded into view. The amateur astronomers have been meeting at…

Ocean Drives Me Crazy

When I think of a great street in Miami, I think of Old Cutler Road with its endless sprawling canopies. Or Eighth Street, which stretches down into the depths of the Everglades and in 1988 offered the backdrop for world’s longest conga line. Yet, never would I ever consider the…

Miami’s Merman Is One of the Fastest Swimmers in the World

Joel Armas is a strapping guy, solid as a block of concrete, barrel-chested and handsome except for his feet, which are long, flat, and bumpy. His eyes are big and brown, and his smile is open-mouthed and wide. His posture is straight but not stiff; he moves with an ease…

Surprise Pregnancy Stuns EMTs

Baby Bombshell Filed under: Flotsam On September 7, Skye Barth called her father with a random inquiry: She wanted to know how to spell his middle name. This was important, for it was going to be the name of his new grandson. The thing is, nobody had known Skye was…

Slime and Schemes Simmer in Surfside

On March 2, 2004, a crisp spring morning around 9:00, Surfside Police Det. John Davis left the station in a blue Crown Victoria. Accompanied by a fellow officer and three agents from the Florida Department of Revenue, he headed for a four-bedroom, two-story house on a corner lot at 1116…

FTAA Settlement Reached

In a landmark for free speech, City of Miami and county leaders have reached an agreement with at least 20 protesters who sued police and other authorities following the brutal 2003 Free Trade Area of the Americas riots in downtown Miami. Under the accord, the city will pay $160,000 and…

Liberty City Seven Trial Begins!

Forget about OJ — opening arguments in the trial of the “Liberty City 7” are underway and already, the case looks like it will afford one of the zaniest, glimpses into our government’s war on terror yet – as if Operation Iraq Freedom weren’t enough of a circus. The seven…

Chowhounds, Get Ready for Top Chef Finale

Those of us who have tuned in to watch Top Chef: Miami this season know why: Seeing the sights. And you know that by sights we mean Padma Lakshmi. But seriously, there has been a lot of local action around the production, which wrapped its stint at the Fontainebleu months…

Supermarket Sweep at Whole Foods

Following my last Whole Foods post I simply HAD to head back there on Friday after work. The last thing I ever want to do is cook dinner after a long work week, and trying to get a dinner reservation at a decent hour on a Friday evening is practically…

Scene from the Apple store, Lincoln Road

I’m waiting for a gentle and kind man in a fauxhawk behind the Genius Bar to help me. My power cord on the Macbook fried this morning: I’m without a computer and facing a long wait at the Apple store. As usual, it’s crowded with people dressed to the nines…

State Attorney Rundle: Just Say No to Gangs

“Justice starts here.” So says Miami-Dade State Attorney Katherine Fernandez Rundle in a series of anti-gang billboards that have popped up in seven county locations, mostly including spots in and around Hialeah, Allapattah, and Little Haiti Emblazoned in black across a yellow strip in the middle of the billboards is…

The Party Crasher – Lil Wayne’s Birthday Bash

Birdman and Lil Wayne roll out with a huge entourage in honor of Tha Carter on Friday September 28. All photos by Tracy Block Cash Money Millionaires came out to celebrate at Lil Wayne’s 25th Birthday party Friday night. Miami VIPs and hip-hop’s finest stepped afoot a three-story yacht for…

Shoes for Charity

The Pliner family: Put some shoes on! This weekend, pricey footwear purveyor Donald J Pliner will be making a special appearance at his Coral Gables boutique. No, not to shove your foot into a pair of his crocodile pumps; for charity. On Saturday from noon to 5:00 p.m. Pliner, his…

Chavéz Chat Fest

Eight perfect hours on a Sunday for most: coffee, newspaper, beach-lounging, museum or a movie. Hugo Chavéz’s eight perfect hours on a Sunday: talking. That’s right, the Venezuelan president set an 8-hour record with his most recent weekly Aló Presidente program (No. 295), a TV marathon that stretched from 11…

Pay for School, Sucka

The Florida Board of Governors, which oversees our belaguered university system, voted on Thursday increase tuition by five percent. They want to make us pay. I wish they’d just stop. So does Gabe Pendas, president of the United States Student Association, the nation’s largest and oldest student group. “The board…

Sorry, but Whole Foods is Awesome

Mmm, beets. Publix is pathetic. And Winn-Dixie’s been wack. Even your neighborhood Milam’s will get a disinterested “meh” from local grocery shopping connoisseurs now. The brand spankin’ new Whole Foods in Coral Gables just opened, and the store owners have spared no expense in making it the most ridiculously awesome…

Local Food Chatter

The first Chipotle Mexican Grill opened just weeks ago in North Miami, and now a South Miami branch is being readied to premier in the former Krispy Kreme doughnut shop on South Dixie Highway….Two Chefs is heading the opposite direction, the landmark South Miami restaurant debuting a second shop in…

The Party Crasher – Seinfeld, Vince Neil and more

Jerry Seinfeld greets fans at the South Beach Regal Theater on Monday, September 24. Getty Images/Chris Gordon As the last days of summer wind down, celebs begin to detox as the tan lines fade. Some go into hibernation, others will go back to work, but either way, they can’t resist…

British Ex-Millionaire Fights for Freedom

When security guard Jorge Aparicio arrived at the DuPont Plaza in downtown Miami for his 7:00 a.m. shift Thursday October 16, 1986, Biscayne Boulevard was still cloaked in darkness. Aside from the sleepy-eyed staff trickling into work, the hotel was quiet — almost peaceful. Nothing stirred on the 12th floor…

Fat Chance

Gustavo Lozano, of Hollywood, is a trim 175 pounds. And he’s handsome. The gay man is also unapologetically devoted to big men. Making them feel good makes him feel good, he explains. Often, he adds, they are suspicious of him: Why would he want them? Because he adores chubs. “I’ve…

It Flashes, Moos, and Poos

It Flashes, Moos, and Poos Filed under: Flotsam Just how dismal is the city’s condo market? Well, if last week’s Platinum Condo auction was any indication, a bloodbath is in the making. The auction, which was held in a ballroom at the Biscayne Marriott, drew a few hundred people, mostly…