Police Believe Sean Taylor was “Random” Victim

Whenever media spotlights shine on the early death of a celebrity like Sean Taylor, the tragedy somehow becomes symbolic of something larger. Maybe it’s fear or a desire to put our finger on something that we feel we can control. If we figure out what caused it, maybe we can…

Bike Lane Bureaucracy

Last night, the Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) held a meeting – one of many held already, one of many more to come – to solicit input from an advisory panel made up of seven Miami Beach residents on the upcoming Alton Road repaving project, expected to go into 2009…

Blood on the Tracks

I made the mistake of eating breakfast while opening an e-mail from a Riptide reader recently. It stated: “Hey good folks at The Miami New Times…here’s something worth checking out.” That nice greeting ensured that I would read on: “There’s an under current of activity here in Miami-Dade with the…

White Party Recap

Friday, 12:10 AM It’s White Party Weekend, the day after Thanksgiving. A huge fundraiser for CareResource, a South Florida HIV/AIDS charity, The White Party is one of the biggest social events on the gay calendar. This event literally brings in thousands of people from around the world. Tonight, every gay…

God Hates the Dolphins

My eyes are bloodshot. My hair is disheveled. My stomach hurts. I’m a zombie. I’m beyond my normal bouts of rage after a Dolphins’ loss. I’m beyond just the normal throwing the toaster at my television. I’m beyond flinging empty Heineken bottles at my dog. This loss makes me want…

Bravo! Bravo!

Code Bravo – Code Bravo! This morning, I had just woken from fitful airplane slumber (in which I slowly poured coffee all over my pant leg), and was hurrying through the Orlando terminal to catch an 11:30 connecting flight to Miami to make a meeting – that sort of thing…

Redskins Safety Sean Taylor Shot in Florida Home

News wires are reporting that Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor, who attended the University of Miami, was shot in his Palmetto Bay home early this morning. Miami’s ABC-TV 10 is reporting that Taylor was shot in the groin around 1:45 Monday morning. The police are investigating whether the shooting was…

Hankerin For Some D-Mac

Got a bunch of e-mails regarding my post from Friday. Apparently I was a bit ambiguous about my stance on the whole Darren McFadden thing. Sorry. Stuffing, Tryptophan and a shit load of Jack and Coke had me feeling a little funky after that Arkansas-LSU game. So here’s where I…

Today’s Arkansas-LSU Matchup Offers Promising Draftees

So you’ve come back home from your 4:00 a.m. shopping spree at Wal-Mart and BrandsMart USA, where you got that 52″ plasma TV for yourself (half off!) and The Best of Ralph Macchio DVD boxed set for your brother-in-law (also half-off!), and plunked yourself down on the couch to waste…

Buy Nothing Day

Ah, the holidays. Today is a great day to kick back, enjoy the South Florida weather and eat a nice leftover turkey sandwich. But not for some losers, who interrupted their Thanksgiving night to stand in line for several hours at Best Buy, Wal-Mart and Brandsmart so they could get…

Miami Foods to be Thankful For: Nacatamale Season

God bless you, Candida, and your tamales Ah, South Florida in November. The air is finally crisp. The Hurricane sword no longer dangles over our collective head. But best of all, it’s nacatamale season, sucka! I didn’t know it either. I actually found out while trying to hitchhike through Little…

Give Thanks for Vampire in Havana

Well, Thanksgiving is upon us. Time for everyone you never talk to in your family to sit around together, get drunk, and wait to eat. It’s not really about the eating, which takes about 15 minutes, if everyone chews slowly. Thanksgiving is about all the fighting or not-fighting that goes…

Eat Shit and Die

It takes a lot of salt to make shit edible. Chicken shit, that is. Turns out that while chickens and cows aren’t the fussiest of diners, neither of them will eat feces without a solid dose of sodium — plus a mess of molasses. It still can’t be pleasurable, but…

More Bad News for Chief Timoney

Another Bad Week for Timoney Filed under: News It’s been a bad week for Police Chief John Timoney. On Thursday the county’s ethics commission found he should have disclosed his free use of a Lexus SUV as a gift. The same day, the AFL-CIO union and the Alliance of Retired…

Rent to Moan

Without a doubt, the model unit is beautiful. Dappled light streams through the window onto a spotless beige carpet that covers the condo’s 800 square feet like a fuzzy, well-trimmed lawn. The kitchen and bathroom are newly tiled and freshly painted. Dressed in a smart white blouse, her dark hair…

Liberty City Seven Trial Travesty

One extorted $7,000 from a friend who raped his girlfriend and then, after accepting the money, beat her up and went to jail. The other failed an FBI polygraph test while working on an undercover investigation, which one former FBI agent says should have disqualified him from ever working for…

The Holes in Whole Foods

Let me start by stating that I am a fan of Whole Foods Market, and a firm believer in paying more for a tomato that tastes like a tomato. During two recent trips to the new South Miami branch, however, I was surprised to find that a number of items…

Coral Gables Cops Pop My Doppelganger

Johnny Law finally caught up to my most wanted fugitive. The Coral Gables Gazette and WPLG reported today that Coral Gables Police nabbed identity thief Thomas Barrett Stringer late last night. Stringer is the man North Bay Village Police allege stole my identity last year. –Francisco Alvarado…

Cash Money Hands Out Gratis Poultry

You may have no idea what you’ll be eating for Thanksgiving dinner, but hundreds of Liberty City residents know for sure that turkey will be on their holiday menu. Monday afternoon, Cash Money Records’ CEOs and brothers Ronald “Slim” Williams and Bryan “Birdman” Williams teamed up with 99 Jamz, Fat…

C’mon People, We Live in a Democracy Here

Note to registered voters in Miami Beach and Hialeah: go to the polls today. Please. On the beach, there’s a runoff election for Mayor and for a city commission seat. In Hialeah, there’s a runoff for a city council slot. But here’s the thing: as low as voter turnout was…

At Least We’re Not in the Top Five

A recently released Congresisonal Quarterly Press analysis of crime stats lists Miami-Dade County as the 10th most dangerous metro area in the nation. We’re behind Detroit (number one), Las Vegas (number three) and Little Rock (number nine). Locally, Miami Gardens is the most dangerous city in South Florida, coming in…