The Right Arm of God Crushes King Douche Into Fine Powder

I’ve always liked ESPN’s Jeffri Chadiha. He’s what a sports anchor/writer should be. Intelligent, insightful, and, most importantly, not a douche. Unlike scrotum slapping jackals like Skip Bayless or Sean Salisbury, who like to yell and spit and play the role of the tough ornery guy without saying much of…

Should Google Pay Reparations?

Neil Henry, professor of journalism at the University of California at Berkley, published an op-ed piece in the San Francisco Chronicle denouncing the evils of search engines like Google and Yahoo. He said that Google should be funding schools, among other things, to ensure that the quality of journalism doesn’t…

Clever Headline: Parcells Looks to “Gaine” a Top Dallas Scout

In his never ending quest to turn the Miami Dolphins into the Dallas Cowboys, Bill Parcells is looking to land Cowboys assistant director of pro scouting, Brian Gaine. According to NFL stipulations though, Parcells is going to have to find his way around the rules (again? curse you NFL rules!)…

Rock Band is More Than Just Guitar Hero 2.0

Having played Rock Band, I can honestly say that it blows Guitar Hero out of the water. The Rock Band guitar just feels better than the Guitar Hero one. The spacing is better and it has a more solid feel to it. It’s still nothing like holding a real guitar…

Source: Dolphins Intrigued by Matt Ryan

Somewhere in this long ass article in the Boston Herald (once you get passed the part about Randy Moss being a complete asswipe and Tom Brady being a total shithead, you’re golden) a league source says the Dolphins — possessors of the number one overall pick — are intrigued by…

Chillin’ in the Bachelor Pod – Life as a Dolphin

Photo by Tovin Lapan So this is what it’s like. It’s a golden retriever 2.0. Aquaman’s best friend. And talk about a chick magnet, my God! The ladies love these rubbery, squeaky, mischievous things. Big smiles and gleeful laughs follow their every trick, or playful flip of the fin. If…

Sparano Offered Coaching Job?

According to the New Haven Register, the Dolphins have offered Tony Sparano the head coaching job. The report also says that Sparano will accept it as soon as the Cowboys’ season is finished. The Cowboys are currently in the playoffs. Remember those? The report is considered significant because New Haven…

You Are Not Alone

“The people here are serious people. They’re sincere [about their interest in the subject],” said Alicia Quaini, one of the members of the Fort Lauderdale-Miami UFO Group. The group gets together to watch videos dealing with UFOs and the conspiracies that surround them. The event is very low key, probably…

A Feeling of Nothingness

Players, ex-players and recently fired coaches are all reacting to the purge Bill Parcells has wrought upon the Dolphins. Perfect Season running back Jim Kiick said it was a good day in Dolphins history, “The changes had to be made,” he said. “I don’t think Cam was what they were…

Man Screws Goat

Sweet God Almighty! I’m sorry, but this is the funniest fucking story ever — from beginning to end. Read it three times, people. It’s about a man who’s been running around the Florida panhandle abducting goats, “raping” them, and then strangling them to death. He’s no clumsy bumpkin, either. Apparently,…

Weekly News Wrap – Iowa Caucus, Kenya, E. Coli and more

1. Obama and Huckabee win Iowa Caucus – The results have pushed Obama to the front runner for the Democratic Party and demonstrated Huckabee’s appeal to conservative Christians, who launched him to the foreground in the race. 2. Miners come to the Everglades – Several mining companies have asked the…

AHHHHH! A Raucous Caucus!

BaracobamacameinfirstandHillarywasthirdbecauseEdwardswassecond andRomneygothisasskickedwontthatbeasurprisetothe guysbackinghiminmiami! Whew. Excuse me. The Iowa caucuses are over and done and the votes are in. Dems: Obama by 8 points, then Edwards by one point over Clinton. Republicans: Huckabee by 9, then Romney, but McCain looming in New Hampshire. Ron Paul, despite a whole lot of donations,…

Coconuts, Delicious or Deadly?

When I first arrived in Miami, I was happy about all the coconuts. I bought a machete and looked forward to lavish coconut-splitting parties, involving rivers of rum and armies of women. The day never came. And now I hate the coconuts. They’re everywhere. And frankly, I’m beginning to think…

Breaking News – The Tuna Fires Cam Cameron

The Cam Cameron era is over. He and his talking penis have been fired. Bobby Knight and his friendship with Bill Parcells clearly wasn’t enough to save Cam’s ass from the inevitable. It’s 1-15 and done. It’s kinda sad, really. Like when a goldfish dies. You knew it was coming…

Bike Blog: To Run A Red

Behind the wheel, I obey traffic laws. On my bike, I pay respect to one law and one law only: survival. If I stop at an intersection, it’s because I’ll get hit if I don’t; beyond that, a red light just means I’d better look both ways before blowing through…