Break In at Sweat Records

Lolo Reskin A gang of local thugs broke in, burgled and trashed our beloved Sweat Records over the weekend, stealing almost everything of value and destroying nearly everything else. According to Sweat’s site, gone are the “store computer, credit card terminal, video projector, entire DJ/sound setup, cash drawer and more.”…

Herald Bundles Controversial Documentary with Sunday’s Paper

Miami Herald subscribers got a little more than the paper delivered to their doors on Sunday. Bundled inside was a DVD of the controversial documentary “Obsession: Radical Islam’s War Against the West”. The Clarion Fund paid to distribute the DVD through about 70 newspapers and magazines to subscribers in swing…

Craigslist Will Start Charging For Job Posts In SoFla

Craigslist’s free online classified ads are at least partially responsible for the downturn in newspaper revenue (leading papers to accept controversial DVD inserts, for example), but a certain section will now charge users to post on its South Florida site. Beginning on October 15th, employers will be charged $25 to…

The Heat Is On (For Another Rocky Season?)

Miami sports fans can be forgiven if they’ve already pulled out the brown paper bags, covered their heads and collapsed trembling into the fetal position for the rest of the month. The Marlins tanked in August. The Canes rolled over and died in Gainesville. And the Dolphins? May the good…

Tons of Weed and Nobody to Smoke It

With indoor grow houses taking over the marijuana market, you don’t hear about people smuggling weed into the U.S. much anymore. But this past Saturday, at the Port of Miami, Immigrations and Customs Enforcement found 6,000 pounds of pot in burlap sacks, sent from Jamaica. Were talking about a street…

News Roundup

R.I.P. USA Economy. Mr. Economy was born in 1621 when some Pilgrams traded corn with Native Americans. He died last evening in the Manhattan offices of Lehman Brothers. He is survived by his third wife, Ester, and five children. Hyperbole aside, the events of the last 24 hours will reshape…

Kelis Hates The Miami Beach PD So Much Right Now

This mugshot makes me want cotton candy. All Kelis wanted to do was yell at some hooker-looking ladies and not to be racially profiled. Isn’t that what we all want? Isn’t that what we all deserve? The Miami Beach Police Department says “No.” Back in March 2007 they arrested Kelis…

Dolphins Take On Cardinals

via Blue Buddies The ‘Canes and the Golden Panthers are both off this weekend so it falls to one team to embarrass Miami football fans. That’s one task the Dolphins might actually be up to. They’ll travel to Arizona to take on the Cardinals. The Cards haven’t won both of…

Wait, What Are You Trying To Sell Me?

It’s another installment of the Crispin Porter + Bogusky created Microsoft ads and there still hasn’t been a computer on screen. These things don’t make me want to buy a PC, they make me want to buy a ticket to a movie starring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates. I mean…

Joe Biden Has A Third Nipple

You know how McCain’s sudden lead in the polls was just a post-convention bump? How it was supposed to dissipate by the end of the week? Well It’s the end of the week and McCain is still leading. Most people are praising Palin for the surge. Yes, despite all 71…

Homophobe Media Whizzes Not Doing So Great

This past week, The Miami Herald blasted a comforting message: The state’s proposed gay marriage ban isn’t doing so hot. Polls show Amendment 2 is lacking up to 19 percent of the voter support it needs to pass in Florida. On top of that, Mayor Manny Diaz, the Miami City…

State Rep Wants Superintendent to Be Elected

Last we checked in on the soap opera that is our public school system the school board found itself in a bizarre love triangle with a former science teacher and Pinellas County after sending their former papi packing. Eduardo “Eddy” Gonzalez, a state Rep. from Hialeah, didn’t like the fact…

News Roundup

Alberto Carvalho, the guy who the school board wants as the next superintendent, might have been boffing a former Herald education reporter, or he might be the innocent victim of a smear campaign. Officially this is now the most overly dramatic superintendent saga ever. [Herald] A High School football coach…

Miami: The Beautiful and the Dumb

According to Travel + Leisure’s latest rankings of “America’s Favorite Cities” tourists think Miami natives are pretty, but dumb. The magazine invited readers to fill out a web survey to rank 25 American cities by various categories. Miami took top honors for having the most attractive people, and came in…

Magic City Kitty – Rub Deez Nuts

Hello, Kitty I go to the gym at least three times a week, but not for the cardio — my masseur gives me hourlong rubdowns that throw me into ecstasy that I definitely shouldn’t be experiencing in public. I am one of those guys who asks his date for a…

Warren Sapp is Classy

via Tampa Bay Former UM player and future “Dancing With The Stars” contestant Warren Sapp called UF Football Coach Urban Meyer “a classless dirtbag” earlier today. Some UM fans, Sapp said, are angry the Gators went for a field goal late in the fourth quarter of last weekend’s game in…

Bitchiest (aka Best) Letter To The Editor Ever

This letter to the editor The Miami Hurricane, UM’s student newspaper, printed today is one of the most scathing I’ve ever seen. And it’s all about the paper. And it’s all mostly right on. The letter starts with “The Miami Hurricane is a rag”, detours to some personal attacks on…

John Mayer Has a Lot Of Sex In Our General Vicinity

At some point in his career, John Mayer gave up on the whole bland, adult contemporary singer-songwriter thing and decided to redirect his efforts into becoming a professional man slut. John’s been inside the wonderlands of Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly and most recently Jennifer Aniston. He started…

Map Out A Strip Club Spree

via Fantasia I wanna stuff a month’s rent up in that g-string. When Riptide visits strip clubs it has one thing on its mind – efficiency. What strip club is the closest to my house? If for some reason this particular strip club is not up to my high standards,…

News Roundup

During last night’s School Board meeting a man asked the board members to put as much effort into trying to save jobs as they did into getting rid of Rudy Crew. Whoops. They cut 370 positions throughout the district. [Herald] Tougher voter ID laws are going into effect a month…