Judge, Jury, and Dictator

How much does freedom of speech cost when applied to the now-infamous Liberty City terror trial? For one private investigator who worked long and hard on the case, Rory McMahon, the bill came to $9,000. For making the mistake of speaking his mind, the veteran P.I. was also banned from…

Dilema de ADN

Beverly Sicherer se quedó boca abajo en el piso frío del pasillo fuera del apartamento de Aventura de su padre. Casi loca, golpeó el mármol con sus puños, luego sus antebrazos. Lo hizo una y otra vez hasta que millones de pequeños vasos sanguíneos se rompieron. Pero Beverly no sintió…

Florida Dreamin’

When he answers his phone, Aslan Lamarche speaks in a voice that’s shaky and nervous. He’s slow to speak and takes long pauses until he’s sure he recognizes the voice on the other end. Lamarche knows that any call — especially one from a number inside the United States —…

Please Steal This House

Miami Beach Police got the call just after lunchtime. There was a problem, a woman reported: Two thin, unfamiliar men were lurking in her neighborhood near Collins Avenue and 70th Street. They had parked between a yellow $1.1 million waterfront house and an abandoned tan bungalow, and were carrying furniture…

Herald Cuts Become Clear

It’s a municipal pastime in almost any city to riff on the daily paper — and we’ve done our fair share — but there’s no delight in seeing those papers fall apart. Especially when names of the laid off start replacing cold, hard numbers. New Times Broward-Palm Beach’s Bob Norman…

Get Ready For Crist vs. Clinton in 2016

2016 so, so far away. We’re not even sure if human civilization as we know it will exist then, but it’s never too soon to make outlandish presidential predictions. We’re dreaming of a Crist vs. Clinton matchup.  At this point, I don’t see a Crist 2012 run as a reality…

Leonard Pitts Breaks Down and Blogs

Just a week after clueless-ly ravaging Twitter, and 8 months after proclaiming he’ll never blog, it seems that one of the the Herald’s star columnists, Leonard Pitts Jr,, has started a blog. It’s called Pitts’ Stop. Cute. So far he’s used it to make a post of short micro-updates (hmmm,…

Some Like it Free

Lately my gym has been calling me. Day and night. I figured that I owed them money, so to the voicemail they went. Then the sneaky fuckers blocked their number and rang me at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday. I answered. I grimaced. I paid. But what I was happy…

DeLuzuriaga Lands a PR Job

Former Herald education reporter Tania deLuzuriaga’s fall from grace — involving an alleged affair with then-assistant superintendent Alberto Carvalho and some dirty sexting — may have only accelerated her to a fate that may await many of her former newspaper colleagues. She’s landed a job in public relations.DeLuzuriaga’s gig at…

Crist’s Latest Supreme Court Pick Has Wingnuts Upset, Again

Back in December, we wondered out loud if Charlie Crist’s love of diversity would leave the Supreme Court with a more balanced ideological outlook. That seems to be pretty much what happened. Last year, the Governor found himself in the unprecedented situation of picking four Supreme Court justices within a span of less than a year. He first replaced two bonafide, Bush-appointed…

Herald Cutting 175, Ceases International Edition

What can be said about the newspaper meltdown that hasn’t already been said? The Miami Herald announced today it’s letting 175 people go, reducing the salaries of anyone making more than $25k, slimming page size down, and ceasing publications of the international edition. With the layoffs and the elimination of 30 open positions, that’s 19% of…

Desperate soccer team threatens suicide unless Miamians buy tickets

There’s something definitely extortive about the latest press release from Miami FC, the under-attended and gravely endangered second-tier pro soccer team that allegedly plays at Tropical Park Stadium. The club is under the gun from the Brazilian company that owns it- which, like the sad sap who owns the Panthers, is…

Religious Group Protests Divorce Court Finding

It had the makings for talk show gold: Divorce court. A cult leader. Protesters on the steps of a courthouse. But then there were the bored camera guys and the cops who stood twiddling their thumbs as the 20-or-so followers of Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda paced silently — and…

Thanks For Ruining the World Baseball Classic, Netherlands

Here’s something you don’t know: In the Netherlands, professional baseball is called Honkbal Hoofdklasse. Something else you don’t know? A single player on the Netherland’s World Baseball Classic team, which shocked the honkbal world by somehow taking down a powerhouse, all-star Domincan Republic club in the 11th inning last night…

Sexy Vegetarian Prefers Bananas over Hot Dogs

It may be a bad day for lovers of sexy animals, but it’s a good day for sexy animal lovers. Yes, this blatant display of flesh is brought to you out of the love and respect of our little creature friends. For years now the PR machine known as PETA…

Even After A Beating, Bulls Fans Still Want Some Wade

There are a lot of Bulls fans out there who salivate at the idea of Dwyane Wade in their red, white, and black jersey. To them, signing Wade is a right, considering the guy was born in Chicago and idolized Michael Jordan as a kid (then again, who didn’t?). Even…

Bestiality May Actually Become Illegal

Let’s take a look at Florida’s laws. Gay marriage? Banned in the constitution. Gay adoption? Illegal. Bestiality? Technically legal. Yep, Florida is one of 16 states that doesn’t ban inter-species sexual contact. Though, usually bestiality practitioners get charged with animal cruelty. Sen. Nan Rich (who will lead Democrats in the…

You Know What The World Needs More Of? Luxury Hotels!

We know Paris Hilton doesn’t have anything to do with the management of the hotel company that bears her family name, but sometimes you have to wonder. In the midst of the latest, greatest depression and economic free fall you might expect any new hotel plans to include cots, a…