BP Oil Spill Benefits Cuba, Fidel Castro

While Deepwater Horizon continues spewing black crude into the Gulf of Mexico, Cuban commies might be rejoicing. That’s because the oil spill could be the strongest argument yet for ending the embargo.Already, the two sides have been talking regularly about the Big Spill and how Cuba can protect itself from…

Hugo Chavez Toilet Paper Is a Hot Seller on Calle Ocho

Calle Ocho mainstay Sentir Cubano has long sold Fidel Castro toilet paper, but Fidel now has a new friend to hang out with while rotting away in a septic tank: Hugo Chávez. Yes, the store now sells toilet paper that features that oh-so-charming mug of Hugo. Dubbed “The XXI Century…

Charlie Crist Holds 11-Point Lead in Senate Race

When Charlie Crist announced his candidacy for Senate, everyone kind of threw up their hands and thought, Well, guess ol’ Charlie is gonna be our next senator. But then he hugged Obama, and Marco Rubio and his brave battalion of Tea Partiers stormed his ships and threw all of his…

World Cup 2010: The Phantom Menace

America has a new enemy. And his name is Koman Coulibaly. He’s like Lex Luthor, because he’s bald and because he could be responsible for America’s downfall in the World Cup. But mostly, because he’s bald. By now the whole world knows had badly team USA got hosed on Friday…

Vuvuzelas Buzz Marlins One Step Closer to Completely Destroying Baseball

Warning to baseball purists: Watch the above video with extreme caution, industrial-grade earplugs and a few highlight reels of the 1964 World Series handy to revive your sense of basic MLB dignity. The Marlins have brought vuvuzelas to baseball. Specifically, they handed out 15,000 of the horns that are currently…

Three Men Shot at Heathrow Lounge

Heathrow Lounge in Miami Beach is supposed to have a classy, vaguely British atmosphere, but it’s located on Washington Avenue, so of course it still has the occasional Miami-style violence.The club was hosting some sort of Father’s Day bash (because nothing says “excellent dad” like hitting up the club. “Sorry,…

Green Party Trounced in Colombia; Can We Blame the World Cup?

Colombians turned out to the polls yesterday — well, a few of them did at least — to choose a new president.​Despite all the early promise shown by Green Party surprise Antanas Mockus — he of the 700,000 Facebook fans and 52,000 Twitter followers and reams of enthusiastic street-art supporters…

Guard at Dade Pretrial Detention Center Beats Inmates Off Camera

Dale Picardat isn’t your typical jailbird. The slight, bespectacled 53-year-old has zero criminal record, a degree from Michigan State University, and about as much street cred as a granny with a walker. But he ended up at the Miami-Dade Pretrial Detention Center in August 2009 after a fluke loitering charge…

Florida Marlins Tank in Series With Texas Rangers

Your Florida Marlins just finished their interleague series with the Texas Rangers last night. Good thing the World Cup and NBA Finals were on all week, because — holy crap — was it ugly. Here’s how it all went down:Game 1 — Rangers 3, Marlins 2: Matt Treanor’s revenge! Former…