Noble Deeds

From Blind Faith to Bell Biv DeVoe, the concept of musical supergroups has been a popular one. You blend several established recording artists into a group (preferably with their blessing), stir in plenty of hype, and then catalyze the potion with the prospect of megabucks. Sometimes you get inert gas,…

The Ballad of the Wet Ballad

I blame Foreigner. Other bands may have done it before them, but Foreigner really pushed the envelope. With just one single, Foreigner changed the rules of how rock bands attain chart success, and simultaneously performed a lobotomy on one of our most basic emotions. The name of this aural A-bomb?…

Sentimental Journey

I’m not only older than critic Suzan Colon, I’m bigger, and besides, I’m prepared to deal with any allegations of smarminess when I say that ballads rule. Sure, many are wet – sappy sales ploys filled with all the wit and imagination of a Coors can. Many are cloying junk…

On the Rocks

After reading my account of the alcohol-stoked sexual high jinks, violence, and general depravity that Baker and I witnessed, and, in the grand tradition of those paragons of journalistic excellence and artistic integrity, Hunter Thompson and Geraldo Rivera, participated in during December’s SoFlo Rock Awards, my wife, Arleen, decided to…

Dude! Make Me a Rock Star!

So you wanna be a rock and roll star? Why be a slave to originality? Use this tried and true method and achieve rock stardom instantly! Do you ever watch those Art Institute of America commercials on MTV and think, Hey, I got enough brain cells to do that? Do…

Psychic Unfair

In fictionland, the investigator from the medical examiner’s office might be Quincy and the cop, perhaps, Columbo. Then there’s the requisite nosy, bothersome “close friend” of the “victim.” But you can’t make up reality, where the M.E.’s office is up to its gills and the homicide cop is busy looking…

Everything You Know Is Wrong

When it comes to music, words get in the way. It’s easy to understand why: Our reactions to music usually are visceral and instinctive, not logical and quantifiable. As a result, it’s all but impossible to make someone feel the same sensations by describing a sound as he would feel…

The Long Road

It may seem as though Iko-Iko has been playing at Tobacco Road since the venerable nightspot secured Miami liquor license #001 back in 1912, but the truth is they’ve only been there a decade or so. By the standards of Miami nightclub longevity (a system of measurement not unlike dog…

Odds Against All

It was one of the most captivating and affecting songs released in 1991. It’s so profound Greil Marcus felt the need to discuss it in his new book Dead Elvis. It could have been the cut to launch the career of a band called the Odds. But “Wendy Under the…

The Voice of Mann

The big guy was selling futon furniture and the little guy was a customer. They got to talking, the big guy said something about how the little guy looked like he was involved in music. Maybe it was the hair. “I’m a producer,” the little guy finally admitted. Yeah, right,…

Flames and Fortune

The first time the Burning Flames performed in Miami, in March of 1990 at, naturally enough, the Cameo Theatre, they played for six hours. Wouldn’t stop. Each time the lilting, synthesized strains of “Workey Workey” sprung out of that soca-funk jam, you had to keep moving your feet. This Saturday…

Nuclear Countdown

If “The Will” isn’t one of the big hit records of 1992, there is no justice, and even if it is, there’s still no justice, but that’s another story. Right there in the first ten seconds of the new Nuclear Valdez album Dream Another Dream lies the clue, the key,…

Rara to Go

Several times each week, Koleksyon Kazak gathers at the North Miami home of group leader Jean Sebon for rehearsal. People drift in and pick up instruments from a huge pile of congas, small drums, rattles, a big bamboo tube called a vaksin, an array of other percussion instruments. Some are…

Depress Pass

It’s a pleasant surprise to be able to chat with Louis Lowy, who plays bass and writes most of the lyrics for local original rockers the Wait, and not have to undergo therapy afterward. By his own admission, Lowy’s lyrics are usually downers, about as far removed from dance-floor fare…

With a Cherry on Top

Seems like lately the only rhythm coming out of the Cameo Theatre, once home to music from around the globe, is the boom-boom-boom of Disco Inferno. This week that changes as the Cameo again pulses with world beats, courtesy of the Rhythm Foundation’s first Miami Rhythm Intensive. The four-day event…

Berlin’s Walls

There was no giant crowd of underdressed and/or primped-up poseurs. No giant video screen relaying images of the evening’s stars. A basketball game was on the tube instead. No giant parking lot, stage, or presentation. But December 14 was a night of giants at the Brickell Tavern. Todd Anthony’s ersatz…

On the Booze

The night began promisingly enough, as Baker and I miraculously found the proper exit off I-95 on our first attempt. With all the construction that marvel of modern roadway engineering and enduring testimonial to the accuracy of urban planning has undergone since our last visit to the Button South, this…

On the Schmooze

I don’t know about you, but I had a blast at the South Florida Rock Awards, even staying for seven hours, almost all of them on my feet. That was the thing to do at Max Borges’s now-established local-muse shindig. Walk about and talk about. Pandisc Music marketing coordinator Lydia…

Lumps of Coal

Christmastime is supposed to be a season of joy, love, and happiness. It’s also a season to get ripped off. Executives from music companies — which derive a huge chunk of their annual profits from Yuletide purchases — know that moms, dads, and other people who never buy albums for…

On the Contrary

Copernicus went out on a limb to demonstrate that the Earth was not the center of the universe. Galileo proved gravity does not discriminate based on race, creed, color, or mass. Mary Karlzen just wants to show that lightning can strike twice in the same place. A singer/songwriter who is…

Local Is As Local Does

The term is not perfect, but it’s useful and expedient: Local rock scene. And what a great one this is. Dozens of thoroughly professional bands making music in a range of styles. A healthy mix of venues for these groups’ performances. Two powerful commercial radio stations that play local music…

And the Winner Is

The lights are on over at Santa’s Enchanted Rip-off and the malls are decked with boughs of holly (plastic, of course). Kathy Willets has a tongue-in-cheek (her own, for a change) Christmas poster for those who cannot throw their money away fast enough already. For the second consecutive week a…