Not So Haute Dogs

Boring old hot dog — mustard, relish, maybe a little chopped onion. Trendy new haute dog — wasabi mayo, banana chips, avocado. That’s the idea behind Franktitude, a way-slick eatery that appears intent on doing to the wiener what eateries like Lindburger and Oneburger have done to the hamburger, essentially…

Sour Pickles

Where’s the beef going? “I didn’t want to change it,” Isaac Starkman told me a few years back when asked about his strategy for renovating Wolfie Cohen’s Rascal House. “I wanted to perpetuate it.” And for good reason, as during one thirteen-year period alone the landmark delicatessen in Sunny Isles…

Last Chance Bistro

If you haven’t yet made it through your holiday gift list, do the following two things immediately: 1. Finish reading this review. 2. Go shopping. More specifically, drive to Bal Harbour Shops and buy the damn gifts already! Why Bal Harbour? Partly because the bargain stores have long been emptied…

Portentous Pork

When the clock strikes twelve on New Year’s Eve, the Cuban tradition is to eat twelve grapes to ensure good luck for each month of the new year. The custom evidently originated in Spain, around 1900, derived from the hope that one year’s good wine grape harvest might be repeated…

A Championship Season for Food?

Table 8 Coming to a plate near you David Bouley Evolution, the South Beach outpost of one of New York’s finest chefs, and Table 8, the South Beach outpost of one of Los Angeles’ finest chefs, have opened their doors, almost simultaneously, less than two blocks apart from each other…

A Smokin’ Sanctuary

They are the unclean, the defiled. Outcasts. Outlaws. Social pariahs, shunned by the righteous for their apostasy. They’re smokers, the only group it’s still PC to hate. But even these bottom-dwellers, the dregs of the dregs, smokers of the Duffel Bags of Death known as cigars, deserve a place to…

Sardi Hearty

Sometimes it seems as though you can’t swing a strand of spaghetti in this town without hitting an Italian restaurant — and not just any Italian restaurant, but one whose idea of authenticity is white linens on the tables, Ol’ Blue Eyes on the stereo, and a big-bellied waiter in…

Artful Digs, Artless Food

It might seem like we first began hearing about Karu Restaurant & Y sometime during the Clinton administration, but in actuality it has been only two-plus years since Cesar Sotomayor began work on his mega-ambitious project to create “a sanctuary of art, cuisine, and entertainment.” Sanctuary is an apt word,…

Hungry at the Wolf

“Think about all the places we find propaganda right under our noses,” reads a coffee mug for sale in the Wolfsonian design museum’s Dynamo Café. “Like coffee cups.” It’s a reminder of the Wolf’s old days. Before heir Mitchell Wolfson Jr. gave his eccentric private collection to the State of…

Unreal Food

Totally trashing an eatery is generally neither fun nor fair. But one thing that does justify joyful decimation is when a restaurant undeniably demonstrates deliberate disrespect for diners. And that’s a fair description of the experience two dining companions and I had recently at Cheli’s Café. After a brief initial…

Borscht Belt on the Beach

Each year Sunny Isles Beach welcomes more than a million vacationers to its two-and-a-half-mile stretch of fine sand and sparkling waters. When a Russian company began building apartments in the area in 1996, the City of Sun and Sea also began welcoming a substantial influx of folks from that country…

Dinner for Dummies

Please don’t try this at home. If your IQ rivals that of the season’s favorite feathered bird and you fear being able to fry one without inadvertently setting alight to your person, children, home, pet, and/ or relatives, listen up. Miami-Dade Fire Rescue staged a fiery little demo this past…

Sushiless Elegance

“To tattoo something on your body for the rest of your life without knowing it means ‘trash can lid’ or ‘dog taco pants’ is stupid.” That’s a sound piece of advice offered by a Website specializing in “100 percent accurate kanji translations,” kanji being a Japanese ideographic symbol representing an…

Where Cod Is God

It seems Portugal has never quite gotten out of the shadow of its bigger, more renowned, more influential Spanish neighbor. Think Sonoma to Napa, St. Paul to Minneapolis, Shrub to Darth Cheney. It’s too bad, really, because Portugal is a fascinating country in its own right, with a distinctive culinary…

Good Move

Now that the performing arts center is finally operational, how soon will it be before the rest of the much-vaunted downtown Miami gentrification process happens? How soon until the area becomes a genuine 24/7 urban center with relatively sophisticated people walking the streets and enjoying nice restaurants and civilized amenities…

A Japanese Gem

If you were to visit Hiro’s Yakko-San once a week and sample five items each time, it would take seven and a half months to taste every offering (and you’d still miss some of the specials that change nightly). I don’t make it to this Japanese restaurant nearly that often,…

Dirty Laundry

Side of infighting optional Brenda Khan, manager of Renaisa Indian Restaurant, was less than enthused over a recent review and hasn’t been shy about letting me, and my New Times editors, know about her displeasure. Her emails have objected to the way the write-up, a dual review of both Renaisa…

Tepid Pepper

Just a few days ago, my wife and I were sweating under a relentless sun in the dusty little Yucatecan village of Tikul, sitting at a Formica-top table in some nondescript dive. A halfhearted slo-mo ceiling fan above us mocked the concept of cool as I reached, again and again,…

Tasty Crepes

The recipe for successful crêpes is easy: eggs, milk, flour, a little butter or oil. Cook in a nonstick skillet or one of those odd-looking French crêpe pans that resembles an upside-down pot. The recipe for a successful crêpe restaurant … well, that’s a little more complicated. French Box Café,…

What’s for dinner?

The Sneaky Kitchen is a lot like your grandmother’s house: full of recipe cards, Tupperware, and old stories. Its founder, Bess Metcalf, has lived in Miami for over forty years, likes to cook, apparently sells Tupperware, Fuller brushes, and Avon products, and has a lot of stories to tell about…

Doubly Bubbly

“Write what you know” is probably the most common advice given to would-be scribes. And despite the initial impressiveness of menus that rival War and Peace in size and scope, it’s darn good advice for chefs too. The temptation to try to be all things to all people invariably results…

Luna Rocks

Tom Billante can’t stop opening restaurants. Ever since founding the Ferrari’s chain of Italian cafeterias in the 1970s (which was later sold to Cozzoli’s), he has teamed with family members and other partners to launch one eatery after another along South Florida’s east coast (and his former, once flourishing Mezzanotte…