United 93 — which uses the hijacking of one plane on September 11, 2001, to tell the story of what happened to all four aircraft seized that morning — may be the most wrenching, profound, and perfectly made movie nobody wants to see. There is no reason to think that…
The Darwinian theory that schlocksploitation must tighten its twist of the nuts with each new release will be tested strenuously for years — or at least several weeks — by Hard Candy. A pointedly s(l)ick cross between Oleanna and I Spit on Your Grave, thrown like raw meat to Lions…
This thing sucks in comparison to the charming Kirsten Dunst cheerleading movie Bring It On, which was also penned by Stick It writer-director Jessica Bendinger. That film was charming in its exploration of teenage-girl athletics; too bad this one shares all of Bring It On’s flaws while lacking most of…
We know her, we love her, and we can’t get enough of her. People who have never been to an opera house could probably recognize Carmen within a few notes. And those who love opera remain fascinated by this sexy creature. Carmen was the heroine of Prosper Mérimée’s 1845 novella…
What do you get if you combine eight musicians, forty-two singers, and one fast-talking con artist? Answer: “Seventy-Six Trombones.” Huh? Those good in math might be scratching their heads, wondering what the heck we’re talking about, but this was exactly the formula Meredith Willson used to create his legendary Broadway…
Family Secret: Edge Theatre, which last year served up Men on the Verge of a Hispanic Breakdown, now offers Family Secret, written and directed by Jim Tommaney. God smiles on roaming bands of small theater troupe experimentalists. One week they might be playing in an art gallery, the next a…
Civilizations crumble and others ascend in the wake, yet humanity must be suffering from a learning disability, considering the average Joe is still digging his own grave. This seems to be the conceptual furrow James Croak tills in his engrossing exhibit at the Bernice Steinbaum Gallery. Croak drops a hammer…
Astral Cumulo Uber Express: Kenny Scharf’s exhibit at the Kevin Bruk Gallery harks back to the Fifties. During the era in which the Soviets sent Sputnik hurtling across the sky, America’s obsession with space was limited to watching Annette Funicello fill out her bra on The Mickey Mouse Club —…
Aeon Flux (Paramount) Many things about this surreal sci-fi flick defy explanation, but nothing more so than the mystery of how it got made in the first place. On paper, it’s an archetypal setup for a bomb: a mostly forgotten cartoon, notable for its visual style and incomprehensibility, revived as…
Feeling a little unbalanced? Well, teeter over to the TrueBalance Spring Mandala Celebration. TrueBalance fitness studio owner and Miami native Jenn Jacubowicz, a former psych major, usually encourages her clients to, among other things, “punch out frustrations with kickboxing” and “breathe worries away with yoga and tai chi.” But let’s…
Contrary to what Us Weekly says, celebrities are not like us. Their clothes are fancier, their dogs are tinier, and their faces are more attractive. Well, that last one may not necessarily be true, as anyone who has seen Britney Spears without makeup can testify. But local ladies can learn…
Pro-wrestling promoter Vince McMahon has announced a match in which he and his son Shane will take on Shawn Michaels and his tag-team partner, God. Which God is not clear, but McMahon is on to something by going metaphysical. There is a primal and entertaining quality to brawling, but unfortunately…
Katt Williams looks and talks like a cartoon pimp. With permed hair and a nasal drawl, he is often favorably compared to Eddie Griffin at his best, Chris Tucker before he found Jesus, and Michael Jackson. Williams made high profile music video cameos as the fey gigolo in Outkast’s “Roses,”…
You have to watch only one episode of The Sopranos to understand that the Mafia lives by a strict code of family loyalty and financial gain. So does the Miami Craft Mafia. The cofounders, Mona Harris and Heather Raveling, are best friends who share creative skills and parenting tips. And…
There are several ways to look for a silver and teal lining in the dark cloud that is the bargain-basement-dwelling Florida Marlins. We get to root for an underdog. Maybe the team will set a record for worst season ever. Perhaps they will begin paying fans to attend games. In…
You must have seen the signs and banners: Carmen is coming to the Florida Grand Opera. Many of the ads touting the upcoming show are written in Spanish, perhaps hoping to draw a Hispanic crowd eager to see a show set in Spain. Nevertheless the campaign is still odd, considering…
Another day, another fad diet. In the wake of the Atkins and South Beach diet crazes, a new crop of weight loss advice plans are vying for shelf space. The latest buzzword is Mediterranean. Evoking images of sultry Parisian nights and hot Greek island hopping days, the region’s food has…
When The Simpsons writers gently lampooned American clichés about Buddhism, they used little Lisa’s quest for spiritual fulfillment to riff on several popular misconceptions. (But honestly, does anyone really want enlightenment in the form of Richard Gere to appear whenever someone accomplishes proper lotus position?) Oversimplified introductions to Buddhism cloak…
Although it’s not unusual to hear a crooner work a Tom Jones tune at a karaoke bar, it is a bit odd for an event promoter to burst into one of the panty catcher’s swinging songs during an interview. “It’s not unusual to be loved by anyone/It’s not unusual to…
The seasons are shifting and the air is fairly rippling with summer heat. The weather is perfect for summer cocktails. But cosmos are so 2003, and salt rimmed margaritas make your lips pucker. Even the classic cool of a Cuba libre doesn’t whet your appetite. Find a new signature beverage…
It is 1989 and you have finally discovered the beauty of those purple-and-gold magic mushrooms. The sun is brighter, the sky is bluer, and you may have found the secret ingredient to make you understand all the lyrics by They Might Be Giants. You pop Lincoln into your cassette player…
Fact: Dogs love to party. Whether it’s a back yard barbecue or a swanky soirée, pooches adore the challenge of sneaking snacks from the buffet table. But today the party is all about them. Dress those canines in their favorite threads and take them to Pet Rescue’s fourth annual Dog…
