What do you call a sumo wrestler who speaks Hebrew? Herzl! Well, that’s what you call him in the film A Matter of Size — ’cause that’s his name. Herzl is a 340-pound Israeli dishwasher who decides to forgo dieting to waddle around in a faux-loincloth wedgie and throw down…
Listen up! Your friends John and Yoko are talking ’bout education, inspiration, administration, affirmation, celebration, collaboration, communication, creation, donations. Really, all they are saying is give teach a chance. And you can do exactly that by showing up with pocketfuls of benevolent Benjamins for this weekend’s We All Shine On,…
You want to know why jazz singer Jon Hendricks is a pimp? (1) Dude wears a sailor hat for no goddamn reason. (2) He spits verse into the mike faster than Twista. (Twista reference!) (3) And his voice is a finer instrument than all Stradivarius violins put together. Hendricks’s crooning…
It’ll be a cold day in Hell before you’re allowed to guzzle Gatorade on the Lakers bench alongside Kobe. But that doesn’t mean your dreams of pushing the rock up and down the court must die. Because even if your vertical leap isn’t what it was in your heyday, the…
We at New Times avoid the gym like Legionnaires’ disease, but we must admit that seeing a 30-something Burt Lancaster with his shirt off makes us want to hit the weights. And trust us, in A Rose Tattoo, director Daniel Mann makes sure Lancaster gets to show off the guns…
All right, we lied about the free Cheetos. It’s just much easier to get a pothead’s attention with the promise of deliciously cheesy corn snacks than the issue at hand: politics. Despite South Florida’s laissez-faire attitude toward the how-dem cocaine cowboys, apparently the rest of this state isn’t too keen…
Who’s that, you ask? Well, Maewyn Succat was an English teen going about his business in the Fourth Century when he was kidnapped by pirates and sold into slavery in Ireland. Maewyn eventually escaped and joined the priesthood in Gaul, which we now call France, but swore to return to…
For many of us Miami heads, Broward County might as well be in Idaho. Sure, it’s there, but why go? This Thursday, there’s one very good reason: comedian Steven Wright. Don’t know who he is? Listen to the man himself. Just imagine a guy with a monotone voice and zero…
When the Miami Heat and Indiana Pacers faced off three weeks ago, the game ended in what can only be effectively described as a thorough ass-thumpin’ as the Heat took down Indiana 114-80. Dwyane Wade played just 28 minutes, yet in that short span, he was able to drop 25…
The popular appetite for freakiness is well documented. Way back when, we flocked to circus sideshows starring midgets, hermaphrodites, and lobstermen. Then, as basic humanity prevailed, we turned to more socially acceptable showcases for the bizarre, such as The Jerry Springer Show and MTV’s Jersey Shore. But now we’ve found…
Buyers’ remorse goes out of the window when you pair your purchases with philanthropy, so head to Macy’s Dadeland and get your fill. Today, shoppers will get the chance to buy some ish, get a free hearing test, and view the photography of internationally acclaimed artist Bryan Adams. It’s all…
We’ve never met a laser light show we didn’t like. And if you add some Bob Marley, Sgt. Peppers’ Lonely Hearts Band, and some ganja, er, granola, the shit is even better. Friday and Saturday, the Miami Science Museum – though kid-friendly by day – is giving you an alternative…
Southwest Miami-Dade is a universe unto itself. Far removed from the urban core, its denizens still carry the distinct 305 swag, albeit heavily tempered by a deeply entrenched agro-centric history. Some folks say the recent spread of subdivision hell is choking out the Redland, and they’re right. But Miami’s bountiful…
House music reigned supreme at Vagabond Saturdays throughout 2009, with weekly performances by such classic house luminaries as Frankie Knuckles, Little Louie Vega, Jellybean Benitez, and Jesse Saunders. So far the soulful house vibes promise to live on at the downtown hotpot in 2010, and Saturday night brings a special…
Favoring a pounding prog-house sound as shiny and at times as sleazy as the city he now calls home, Paris-to-Miami transplant Cedric Gervais has a reputation as a DJ who plays it both uplifting and up-thrusting. Building up his following since 2003, this big room fixture favors blissfully breezy Ibiza-style…
French producer/DJ Bob Sinclar (neé Christophe “The French Kiss” le Friant) was Born in 69, as it says literally in the title of his most recent full-length. And you need to sample only a small cross-section from his decade-plus of throbbing tracks to understand his promotion of this double entendre-imbued…
Monday seems like the most logical day to stay home and avoid going in to work hung over the next day. But what kind of Miamian would stay home on a weeknight? Then again, if a low-key affair is something you are looking for, check out the Duchess, the Monday-night…
I’m in love, y’all! She’s gorgeous. She’s got this awesome hairstyle that is a cross between Amy Winehouse and some atrocity created with Bumpits. Her skin glows of fake orange tanner that one can only assume she was dipped in Tang. Some asshole thought it was okay to hit her…
The total economic impact of the film industry in Miami-Dade in 2009 is expected to be about $10 to $20 million less than 2008, according to Miami Today. That global economic slump may have something to do with it, but officials are also blaming Florida having relatively little in the…
Two apparently related burglaries have police worried that a crime ring with really bad taste is preying on local shoe merchants. In the wee hours of December 30, five to six masked men in two cars crashed their way into the Foot Locker at 1076 Southwest 67th Avenue and made of…
In the graphic novel world, Miami doesn’t even exist. Fake cities like Gotham, Metropolis, and Marvel’s New York rule the superhero panels. Subculture New York and cities and countries with genocide and disaster are what get the space in indy comics. Miami isn’t just mistreated: it’s invisible. Outside of one…
Artist Ginés Serrán’s Union of the World: Monument to World Peace is the largest bronze sculpture based on classical mythology. It’s 26 feet tall and 17,600 pounds, and later this month it will come to SkyPalace at Mary Brickell Village in downtown Miami to make its permanent home. The work depicts Hercules…
