You are a gearhead, a car junkie, a donk devotee. On your bedside table sits a fat stack of auto porn — Hot Rod, Lowrider, Super Street, etc. — along with a half-used bottle of motor oil. Out in the garage, several modern-day muscle cars lie stripped and naked on…
If you’ve been to any Urban Outfitters location in Miami in the past year, you’ve likely seen Taylor Kienholz’s creations — he does the hipster store’s displays. But the California native’s work has seeped outside retail and into beloved bar Kill Your Idol. There you’ll find his first solo show,…
For little Kyle Cease, life began in the tiny Washington town of Bothell. It’s a nice, innocent place famous for its biopharmaceutical industry and 112-foot Christmas tree. So how exactly did this wholesome American boy fall into a career as a comic? What deep, irrevocable childhood trauma sent him down…
Every family has its version of the outcast: the crazy aunt, the crazy half-brother’s ex-wife’s cousin. But would it change things if you learned that your deranged family member also happened to be crazy-rich? Would you seek them out for a donation to your backpacking-Europe-for-personal-enlightenment fund? Before you drive down…
Many people who, in better economic times, considered impressing a new love with a getaway to France (pronounced frahnce) are instead left to work their charm at the same old South Florida spots. Well, you can stay stateside and still knock the socks off l’amour de votre vie. Photoshop the…
We live in a world where the disparity between rich bastards and poor proles is exponentially expanding. The haves are CEOs and socialites who crap foie gras and visit the spa once a week to have liquid gold massaged into their bleached and Botoxed faces. The have-nots, meanwhile, are a…
When painter Purvis Young died of a heart attack at Jackson Memorial Hospital this past Spring, Miami ached at the loss of one its authentic cultural heroes. Young, in contrast to the ever-chipper Romero Britto, internalized and interpreted the 305’s urban strife. His paintings and murals were frantic with jagged…
If there’s one thing the Netflix era has taught us, it’s that being able to watch any movie or TV show at your leisure pretty much beats paying $9 to see a flick in a crowded theater. But the Spa at Viceroy Miami (485 Brickell Ave., Miami) has decided to…
This isn’t the greatest sports town, what with all the beaches and clubs and year-round parties. But there’s no doubt we love a winner, as evidenced by the Miami Heat’s recent welcome party for Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh. But the Florida Marlins are also blessed with a…
This isn’t the greatest sports town, what with all the beaches and clubs and year-round parties. But there’s no doubt we love a winner, as evidenced by the Miami Heat’s recent welcome party for Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh. But the Florida Marlins are also blessed with a…
This isn’t the greatest sports town, what with all the beaches and clubs and year-round parties. But there’s no doubt we love a winner, as evidenced by the Miami Heat’s recent welcome party for Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh. But the Florida Marlins are also blessed with a…
Man, it really sucks when some stiff old white dude shows up with his posse of greedy corporate goons and starts saying things like, “I’ll finish you, your friends, and your whole damn neighborhood!” Before you know it, there’s a convoy of bulldozers rolling up to the doorstep of your…
Ever since the final episode of the last season of Mad Men, we’ve spent Sunday nights making our stylish Mad Men Barbie dolls chain-smoke and cheat on their wives. So consider us the target demographic for hipster lounge Cafeina’s Mad Men party tomorrow night. Called the Mad Men-edition of the…
The manic countdown to the August 17 DVD release of Billy Corben and Alfred Spellman’s ‘Canes epic The U continues, rumbling and raging like Warren Sapp at the Shore Club. (The charges were dropped, OK?) And this week, Miami’s most notorious movie moguls reached deep into the Rakontur vault and…
Blue man group at 25th Street and NW Second Avenue. More pics after you click…
Fashion breakdown: Black boots, skeleton jeans, gold satin jacket, cream button-up shirt, and a f*ck-you tie…
Sex, love, relationship advice from a professional dominatrix. Got questions, drop an e-mail to askadomme@miaminewtimes.com, you naughty boys and girls. Read more about Mistress Lera at Notes From a Miami Dominatrix. My girlfriend was giving me a blow job the other day and she stuck her finger up my butt. It sent…
OK, folks. You can now breathe a sigh of relief — or of sadness if you love seeing models and reality stars strutting their stuff on the streets of South Beach. Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim is officially over. The five-day runway marathon proved daunting for a lot of Miami newbies,…
Without even realizing it, you’ve likely admired Taylor Kienholz’s creations – that is, if you’ve been in any Miami Urban Outfitters store in the past year. (And we’re guessing about 80% of you have. That store is a necessary evil.) After Kienholz did store displays in New York and Los…
You’d expect a play titled The Pillowman to involve a terrifying character who inflicts nightmares upon a poor victim’s sleeping mind. On the contrary, the eponymous entity’s purpose is to save children from the nightmares of their real lives. Is this an act of self-righteousness or the work of a…
Unlike the rest of the country, summer in Miami doesn’t mean outdoor music concerts or weekends in our beach house. This is the season when most of us enter a sweat-induced hibernation and catch up on our TV watching. So excuse us if we’re more than a little pissed off…
Think the world’s politicians are behaving badly now? Just wait for a few more natural disasters to hit, add rapidly diminishing resources and steadily increasing population numbers to the mix, and you have yourself a recipe for all-out global conflict. “Climate change will drive people and countries into conflict,” journalist…
