Everice Is So Timely He Needs Two Watches
Fashion Breakdown: Watches from Diesel, glasses from Cheap Monday, jeans Vintage Levis, and boots All Saints…
Arts & Culture
Showing 17711 - 17732 of 33076MIFF Director Jaie Laplante on Palme d’Or Contenders at Cannes
Film Fiend features dispatches from Miami International Film Festival Director Jaie Laplante as he scopes flicks on the indie film festival circuit. As another Cannes Film Festival winds down, all the chic cineastes here on the Croisette are pretending not to care about the Grand Jury prizes, awarded in a glitzy ceremony…
Kicking It With Christians, BBW Babes, and Ron Jeremy at Exxxotica Miami Beach 2011
On day one of Exxxotica Miami Beach 2011, Cultist scored a subscription to Buttman Magazine, rode the cocksaw, met the biggest set of implants on Planet Earth, and went all cowgirl atop a bucking pink mechanical penis. Day two wasn’t any less exciting. We chatted with the most beautiful ass…
Deep-Throating Flaming Batons With Heather Holliday at Exxxotica Miami Beach 2011
Yes, the human penis is a choking hazard. Ditto dong-shaped stuff like carrots, votive candles, polish sausage, etc. Naturally then, it’s kinda dangerous to go around performing deep throat with either class of object, animate or inanimate, as a private sex act, kooky party trick, or semi-professional service. So, uh,…
Most Likely to Confuse and Other Superlative Awards for Exxxotica WTFs (Photos)
All month, we’ve been talking about Exxxotica, the big old porn-y fair down on Miami Beach. Last night, ladies got in free, so we marched on down to the convention center to catch a first peek at the goods on display. Though the event was tame as a porn get-together could…
Miami Cyclist Mario Renteria Starts Forrest Gump-Like Trek Across Country
When Cultist was in college we drove from Miami to Los Angeles and along the way thought, “God damn, this is a freaking long trip. We’re so bad ass!” But after learning of Mario Renteria’s planned Miami to San Francisco bike trip, we’re currently reassessing how bad ass we really…
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Macho Man Randy Savage Dead After Tampa Accident
That’s it; we’re convinced the world’s going to end tomorrow. Macho Man Randy Savage has died, and truthfully, Cultist doesn’t want to live in a time where the greatest professional wrestler isn’t pushing Slim Jim. We’re taking the tragic news as confirmation that the Rapture is in fact looming. TMZ…
7-8-Sex, Glory Hole Estefan, The Miami Semenquarium, and Other Porn Titles from Cultist Readers
There’s nothing like a little porn to get the juices flowing. That would be your creative juices, you sickos. And now that the interminable wait for Exxxotica to slink into town is over, well, let’s just say those juices are flowing like the Miami River, and just as dirty.Proof is…
Eleven Best Things to Do This Weekend
The notion that all our good, non-sinning friends will vaporize and ascend to heaven tomorrow is a little bit dark and a whole lot of ridiculous. That’s why our Rapture soundtrack includes this Darth Vader guy to the right, who plays the foreboding “Imperial March” before seamlessly segueing into Daddy…
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Masturbate-a-Thon and Other Fun Rapture Parties Across These United States of Sin
The Rapture is looming. In fact, according to Harold Camping, an 89-year-old retired civil engineer from Oakland, CA, Judgment Day is supposed to go down tomorrow, which is a total bummer because May 21 is also the birthday of Mr. T. Poor Mr. T! We pity the fool. But hold…
Random, Fun Crap to Try, and Its Statistical Probability of Killing You
How many times has one of your friends said something along the lines of, “oh wow, hot yoga, that sounds like fun,” or, “you know what we should do? We should take a cooking class!” All the time, we’re sure. Those ideas are lame, though. We need to up the…
Isabel, All That Glitters Is Not Gold
Fashion Breakdown: All jewelry from the Miami International Merchandise Mart, clutch found online five years ago from L.A., dress from Nicole Miller, platform shoes from Steve Madden, make-up mostly MAC, lashes Dior, and eyebrows threaded…
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Miami Heat Probably Won Game Two Thanks to Brujeria Hex
We watched the Miami Heat castrate the Chicago Bulls from Mike’s Bar at Venetia last night and reveled along with the rest of the city as LeBron, Dwyane, and Udonis took the wind out of the Windy City. But what few might know is that there were Brujeros, voodoo priests,…
The Agony and the Ecstasy of Phil Spector Is a Rock Opera Full of Murder and Ego
The Agony and the Ecstasy of Phil Spector, which screens at O Cinema, lives up to its grandiose title, taken from the old Michelangelo potboiler. Vikram Jayanti’s BBC production is certainly a scoop, culled from 50 hours of interviews made during the reclusive Spector’s first trial–he was accused of sticking…
Miami Finally Gets an Indie Craft Market with Brickell Bazaar
Nightingales in large cities have learned to belt out 95-decibel songs (i.e., as loud as a chain saw) in order to make themselves heard over everyday clamor. And it’ll take a similar effort for this Saturday’s Brickell Bazaar to get noticed in blingy, bass-thumping Miami. Presented by DJ Oski, Queen…
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The Haircut‘s Ken Clement on Borscht, Sideburns, and Acting
The Haircut, for many in attendance, was a delightful treat at last month’s Borscht Film Festival. Clocking in at a little over five minutes, the short was filled with wonderful twists and turns. If you recall, a man saunters into a barbershop at night feeling insecure about his haircut. He’s…
Five People Whose Lives Were Ruined by Porn
Once upon a time, there was a society that looked down on people like the spoiled daughter of OJ Simpson’s defense attorney pocketing $5 million in a “settlement” with Vivid Entertainment after a golden shower sex tape starring herself was self-released. But not modern society! Now we reward such desperate…
Cultist Gets High on Zeppelin; Flies Over Miami’s Erections (Photos)
This weekend when you’re naked, lying on your back exposing your naughty bits to Mr. Florida Sunshine 15 yards from the Atlantic Ocean atop a terrycloth beach towel, your Haulover tanning session may be temporarily interrupted by a giant German shadow. No, it’s not an elderly, overweight tourist rubbing sunscreen…
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Nine Ways to Get Your Ass Kicked at Cuba Nostalgia Expo
Listen, you don’t establish the credibility and following that Cultist has in the community by badmouthing your largest reader demographic. Trust us. We know where our tostadas Cubanas are buttered. And don’t get us wrong, some of our best friends are Cuban. Actually, many of our writers are Cuban. We…
Maher’s Secret
Bill Maher is acerbic and offensive. He’s dry and crass and even the people who agree with him most sometimes want to slap the smug grin off his Hollywood-elite face. Before he got his first television show in 1993, by the way, he appeared occassionally on Murder She Wrote and…
Cannes 2011: dysfunction junction
Cannes 2011: dysfunction junction
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The 39 Steps at Actors’ Playhouse crams an entire film onto the stage
The 39 Steps at Actors’ Playhouse crams an entire film onto the stage