South of Disorder

It would be easy to mistake Renata Lucas’s green carpet installation in CiFo’s lobby for part of a major remodeling project at the downtown space. After all, CiFo’s signature emerald jungle mosaic, made of glass Bisazza tiles, has been stripped from its façade, leaving the building’s exterior looking as ratty…

Art Capsules

Wake Me Up When the Present Arrives: Over a 10-day period, Argentine artist Diego Bianchi trashed Locust Projects, filling the space with a battered boat hull, heaps of garbage, and a slick sheen of mud. Bianchi puts rock stars — and their lifetime hotel bans for taking wrecking balls to…

Genuine Fake Robots

Transformers (DreamWorks) No doubt, Michael Bay’s slam-bang action-figure commercial doesn’t play nearly as well on television, no matter how high or high-def your screen; this demands to be seen on a screen the size of a skyscraper and heard on speakers as large as jet engines. As such, the first…

Strangers on a Train

The estranged brothers Whitman have reunited for a journey onboard The Darjeeling Limited, a colorful old locomotive traversing the Rajasthan region of India. Along the way, they will stop to visit temples (“Probably one of the most spiritual places on Earth!”) and shop for souvenirs (slippers, cobras, pepper spray), with…

Anatomy of a Murder

Calling all pundits. It’s a baffling caprice of the Zeitgeist to have two studio westerns released in the same month, 30-odd years after the genre basically gave up the ghost. James Mangold’s better-than-competent and highly crowd-pleasing 3:10 to Yuma has provided a harmonica fanfare for something more ambitious and polarizing…

The Grand

“Poker is a cosmic metaphor,” Woody Harrelson explains early in The Grand. “No matter how the cards fall, you think you can still beat them.” This apparently is the film’s guiding philosophy, for if the advance press is telling the truth, The Grand was largely improvised. As Harrelson (“One-Eyed” Jack…

Playing Dumb

Love him or despise him, head Jackass Johnny Knoxville has made millions from getting kicked in the yambag. Had YouTube arrived before Jackass, Knoxville, Steve-O, and the show’s other gutterpunk masochists might still be slinging French fries, getting burned by hot grease in a strictly nonrecreational way. But with a…

Taking the Piss

Worldwide ecological disaster has a way of changing a man. So says Caldwell B. Cladwell, and he’s probably right — but not too right, because there is nothing remotely unfamiliar about the denizens of “The Poorest, Filthiest Urinal in Town,” where Act I, Scene 1 of Urinetown takes place. “It’s…

Looking for Mr. Positive

Michael Yawney assumed “bugchasing” was just a gay myth, like a Village People reunion tour or bathroom sex at “Homo” Depot. A 2003 Rolling Stone article about the phenomenon was marred by faulty reporting, and besides, people would not actually seek to contract HIV, would they? “Gift” parties, where HIV-negative…

Our Top DVD Picks Scheduled for Release This Week

AC/DC: Plug Me In (Sony) Bob the Builder: Ultimate Adventure Collection (Hit Entertainment) Bully 911: Stop Being a Victim (Bayview) Believers (Warner Bros.) Best Picture Collection (MGM) The Hoax (Miramax) Hollow Man: Director’s Cut (Sony) The Invisible (Disney) Ironside: Season 2 (Shout) The Jazz Singer: Three-Disc Deluxe Edition (Warner Bros.)…

Swim for the Win

It’ll be like the battle of David and Goliath when the Miami Dolphins host the New England Patriots. No biblical blasphemy intended, we’re just saying our Fins would desperately like to repeat last December’s performance, when they shut out the Patriots 21-0 at Dolphin Stadium. The recipe for success for…

Chew on This

You might have heard that many of the foods we eat are overprocessed, coated in chemicals, and downright toxic. And you also might have heard there is a supersmart subculture of folks who are not accepting the crap that society is trying to force down their throats. They’re saying no…

God Bless the Child

She passed away in 1959 at age 44, with a mere 70 cents in her bank account. By the end of her too brief, too tragic life, Billie Holiday had lost so many things: Her money had been swindled from her, her luminous looks were ravaged by heroin long before…

U Gotta See iTango

Is Dancing with the Stars not quite cutting it for you ballroom aficionados? The answer to your yen is coming to Miami this weekend, when hoofers from iTango will invade the Gusman Center for the Performing Arts to showcase the best Argentine tango dancers and musicians in the world. Set…

So You Wanna Be a Filmmaker

Everyone’s a critic. Sure, it’s easy to look at some of the programs that get green-lighted each season and wonder what particular kind of crack the network executives were smoking that day — Cavemen, anyone? No? Alrighty then. But behind the scenes, television can be more dramatic and difficult than…

Double Time for Jazz Fiends

As with many significant musicians, classification is pointless when it comes to James Blood Ulmer. Yeah, blues, sure … but there’s that funk element. In any case, it certainly can be offered that Blood tears the shit out of the joint. With a rhythm section and musical reminders of Katrina,…

You Need Rehab

Eve Interrupted is the women-who-love-women collective that has brought to Miami primo art events that showcase and embrace the lesbian community. The organization is like everyone’s dream girl — smart, fun, sexy, and unafraid of putting her foot in your ass. Past parties have been called Toxic, Crash, and Juicy,…

Jerk Your Way into Fantasy Fest

Your eyes tear and nostrils sear as you coolly attempt to mask your intolerance for pain, having boasted about your affinity for “real” jerk chicken only moments ago. As the scent of Caribbean spices and the blur of pastel colors jolt you back to reality, you find yourself chowing down…

Euroflash

The NBA announced recently that Dwyane Wade’s jersey is its top seller in Europe, which, considering how many European players are spotting up and shooting on American courts these days, could be considered a minor coup. Also among the top 10 were a Spaniard (Pau Gasol), an Italian (Andrea Bargnani),…

Go Get Your Nails Done

Lately the beauty business has been catching quite a bit of flak from critics who say that racism, ageism, and — gasp! — false eyelashes in mascara commercials have all put blemishes on the industry’s reputation. But the girls at Pretty City are doing their part to put the b…

No Catch Phrases Necessary

Boxing and professional wrestling announcer Michael Buffer is known for his trademark battle cry at the beginning of each brawl: “Ladies and gentlemen, let’s get ready to rumble!” Without that phrase, Buffer might be just another sonorous-voiced ringside presenter. Lilian Garcia performs the same job as ring announcer for World…

Not Shaken or Stirred

Before you have dinner, you usually chew a Rolaids or drop an Alka-Seltzer into a glass of water to get your stomach prepared for what’s about to go down. But during Bon Aperitif! Week, a group of Miami’s finest restaurants is offering you a more sophisticated way to prime your…