She’s a Fragile Effin’ Flower

It happened just as Kathy Griffin caught a whiff of her own skin burning. Her efforts to reach mass-fame status landed her a spot on the lower-tier reality game show Celebrity Mole Hawaii. To win — and win she did — Griffin forced herself to tread barefoot across searing-hot coals…

A New Beginning

There used to be a time when the Miami Dolphins were hailed as one of the proudest franchises in the NFL, with a long, rich history of greatness. Yet for the past decade or so, the Dolphins have played football like old people screw. The only way to watch any…

Free at Last

You used to cringe at the thought of having hot wax ripped from your nether region, but you took comfort in the fact that the women of Brazil invented this depilatory torture. News flash: Removing hair from places where the sun don’t shine is extreme, even in the land of…

Man Massages Dog

After months of being cooped up in a tiny apartment and taking walks in tongue-dripping tropical heat, your dog is stressed out. Don’t bother calling the Dog Whisperer; just bring him to the Historical Museum of Southern Florida’s second annual Bark Brunch at the Oasis from 10 a.m. to noon…

Get to the Pointe

Have you ever tried to stand en pointe? It’s not as easy as ballet dancers make it look. Wikipedia lists 28 common injuries stemming from this superhuman posture, including neuromas, bunions, hammertoes, and something called dorsal exostosis. The dangers notwithstanding, if it’s been your life’s dream to prance on your…

Get Sweaty

If the walls in Little Haiti could talk, some of the more colorful ones would likely share tales of arduous journeys over rough seas, overcoming strife, assimilation, and community joy. The walls at NE 55th Street and Second Avenue certainly have some crazy tales to tell. Legendary rock club Churchill’s…

Cum, Hear Some Poetry

Spoken word is the art you find at the intersection of poetry and music. Cultivated in the brains of artists who write to an imaginary beat that pulses in their heads, it is built to ignite passion, caution, or action. This stuff will make you move. Ingrid B. has been…

Nicole Loves the Kids

Jazz singer Nicole Henry is a local treasure — a cool, tall drink of water whose crooning calls to mind Sarah Vaughan and Dinah Washington. Her voice is smoldering and sensual, jaunty and joyful, potent and sweet all at the same time. Her brand-new album, The Very Thought of You,…

My Face Is Melting

Take a step back to the Nineties, when Miami’s streets were flooded with cheap psychedelics. Acid was as much a part of many people’s social stimuli as cigarettes and alcohol. Tri-county high schools, warehouse raves, and bedrooms across the land brimmed with powerful pharmacological agents. Mind-expanding/imploding trips were delivered via…

Large and in Charge

There’s no getting around it: Lavell Crawford is a big man — a very, very big man. But when it comes to telling jokes, he’s light on his feet. Extra pounds don’t hinder his comedy — just the opposite. Crawford’s act directly addresses his weight issues … to varying degrees…

Yoga on the Terrace at Spa V

SPA V now offers Yoga classes taught by South Florida’s renowned instructor Renee Douthat, Saturday mornings. Classes will be held outside on Vue terrace, where the calming ocean sounds can be heard from the across the street. Each class is $20 redeemable off any SPA V treatment. Students can also…

Red-Light Special

The workday ends and you’re outta the office Fred Flintstone-style — “Yabba dabba doo!” — only to be smacked in the face by a line of brake lights snaking along I-95 as far as the eye can see. Gridlock is a bitch, and it can directly affect your health. Don’t…

The View Will Save You

Though the sticky floors and grimy glasses make your preppy soul cringe, you swear you love a good dive bar. And who wouldn’t? The discount drinks, colorful characters, and undeniably dirty peanuts would make any good lush happy. Still, we sense your disgust, even when you’re sloppy drunk and hanging…

Finding New Friends Through Fetish

If you are one of the many frustrated local singles touring trendy clubs for your next sexual escapade, you might be burned out by the typical martini-sipping, khaki-wearing yuppies who flock to the booty music—filled dance floors. It might be time for a change in atmosphere and attitude. It might…

Can You Read My Palm?

The history of Coral Castle claims the structure boasts stones taller than the ones at Stonehenge and heavier than the ones that make up Egypt’s pyramids. And the story behind the construction of this place is as mythical as it is fantastic. There’s underage love, a man with the strength…

Faith and Flag Football

In pop culture, Christianity has always held a stronger connection to football than other religions, if only because the holy day happens to coincide with NFL game day. But we bet there’s a fair amount of gridiron daydreaming in temples too, especially whenever the Mo Steel flag football team gathers…

Shut Up Project Runway, Miamians Can Cut It

via Gen Art To hear the cast of Project Runway tell it, South Florida is the worst-dressed area in the world. “Oh, that looks like something my aunt in Boca would wear.” “Ew, that dress is so South Beach.” “She’s like a Fort Lauderdale cocktail waitress.” Uh, whatever. That’s just…

The Moore Space is Closing

via The Moore Space A shot of Carlos Alvarez’s installation Faces, which was featured at the space earlier this year. Bummer. The Moore Space, one of Miami’s most exciting and highest profile art spaces, is closing this October. It was founded in 2001 by Rosa de la Cruz and Craig…

Spy vs. Why

Despite his reputation as the rarest of creatures — a Hollywood intellectual — new evidence suggests Steve Martin reads … prepare yourself … thrillers and spy novels. Or at least that’s the only conclusion one can draw from the “Story by” credit the comedian receives on Traitor, an uneven yet…

The Next Hit

This locally produced movie about Miami hip-hop includes everything you’d expect: pretty pictures, lots of violence, and good urban music. Starring Lark Voorhies (of Saved by the Bell fame) and Fredro Starr, it’s a “whodunit” in which “at least three rap icons are killed and a producer gets stuck in…

Is He a Swinger or a Cheater?

Hello, Kitty: After 12 years of marriage to a wonderful woman, I’ve been seriously considering asking my wife to join me in swinging. Not as in what kids do at a playground, but the adult sort. I vowed to be with my wife for better or for worse, but when…