Clock time is bullshit. It’s an invasive concept that undermines life by dictating day-to-day activity with a repetitive series of deadlines: breakfast at 7 a.m., 30-minute commute, work 9-to-5, lunch at noon, gym at 6, dinner by 8, asleep by 11, repeat. Now imagine a world where the only time…
Like 94 percent of the world’s population that listens to music, the guys of experimental cumbia collective Locos Por Juana cannot get Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky” out of their heads. “Personally, I fell in love with Nile Rodgers’ guitar,” says Locos Por Juana guitarist Mark Kondrat. “The funky guitar, the…
Give or take a handful of recycled Bruno Mars tracks, Top 40 Radio would lead you to believe that there are only two songs this summer: Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” and Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky.” Sure, those pop ditties are as infectious as a $40 prostitute’s condom-less blowjob. But you…
Did you know that more than 300,000 Colombians live in Florida and that of the top 25 communities in the United States with the highest concentration of Colombians, 13 are located in Miami-Dade County? Of course you did. We’ve all been to Dolphin Mall on a Saturday or shot aguardiente…
While some are questioning the motives behind his latest business-slash-philanthropic venture, Pitbull’s foray into the charter school industry should come as no surprise. El tipo is a father of six who loves education. He even taught listeners how to count in Spanish with the opening of one of his biggest…
Rocking “guayabera shirts and bandanas,” Jay-Z may have “turned Havana to Atlanta” momentarily this past May when he and Beyoncé visited Cuba. But if Republicans on the House Appropriations Committee get their way, the couple’s first Treasury Department-approved cultural exchange trip to the Caribbean island may have also been their…
Praise the Fontainebleau Miami Beach for saving Labor Day. Had the oceanfront resort not booked two of the summer’s biggest acts for its BleauLive performance series, you’d probably be stuck watching another Jerry Lewis-less MDA telethon. Vive la Lewis, as the French say! Thankfully, Pharrell and Robin Thicke have been…
The month long CONCACAF Gold Cup kicked off last weekend in Pasadena, California, but won’t reach South Florida until this Friday, when four teams will take the field at Sun Life Stadium (2269 NW 199th St., Miami Gardens) in the hopes of advancing to the next round. Among them is…
From the weed to the X, from the X to the blow, Pitbull has hustled his Cuban-American dick off to fulfill a prophecy that he rapped about nearly ten years ago on “305 Anthem”: “Mark my words, I’m next to blow.” He was right. El tipo’s proven to be a…
We’ve all been there — nervously flipping through a back issue of Better Homes and Gardens while silently praying that a power outage (or the apocalypse) strikes before some woman named Heidi or Joan or Colleen calls your name and says those eight dreadful words: “The dentist is ready to…
The United States of America is about to turn 237 years old, triggering a wave of quirky traditions like the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Competition in Coney Island and inappropriate groping at backyard barbecues across the nation. In a city as sexy as Miami, however, the celebration’s a little different…
What do President Barack H. Obama, reggaetonero Daddy Yankee, and Sesame Street Live: Elmo’s Super Heroes have in common? No mucho. But a ton of Muppets, “Lovumba,” and POTUS did help BankUnited Center land a prime position on Venues Today’s 2013 Florida Top Spots list, a compilation of the best…
Florida A&M University interim President Larry Robinson announced this morning that he is lifting a nearly two-year performance ban on the school’s critically acclaimed marching band. Former school President James Ammons suspended the “Marching 100” after 26-year-old drum major Robert Champion was killed in a 2011 hazing incident. “I want…
A spotty, Spotified copy of Juanes: MTV Unplugged streams on an iPhone as New Times travels 70 mph down an unassuming stretch of I-75 near Resaca, Georgia. It’s the Monday after Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival, and we are relying on the same 4G network that’s playing the music to…
Oh, how times have changed. Miami used to drop mad loot on blow, an estimated $11 billion each year at the height of Magic City’s cocaine days, according to some economists. “In 1979, there was a $7 billion [cash] surplus from the Miami banks,” former IRS special agent Michael McDonald…
Uh-oh. Flo Rida’s Miami Heat floor seats and his $2.25 million gold-wrapped Bugatti Veyron may be in jeopardy. The Florida Department of Revenue filed legal documents requiring the 33-year-old rapper to fork over child support in a highly contested paternity suit filed two years ago by Gloria Holloway, reports TMZ…
The Miami Heat ain’t cheap. To reach, and ultimately conquer, the NBA Finals for a second consecutive year and secure the third title in franchise history, El Heat had to spend roughly $84 million on player salaries, the fourth largest amount in professional basketball. But when the billionaire-owned Heat waltzed…
A spotty, Spotified copy of Juanes: MTV Unplugged streams on an iPhone as Crossfade travels 70mph down an unassuming stretch of I-75 near Resaca, Georgia. It’s the Monday after Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival, and we are relying on the same 4G network that’s playing the music to sustain a…
Damn, it (must) feel good to be a gangsta. And by gangsta, we mean the Miami Heat. After slaughtering the San Antonio Spurs and racking up the third NBA title in franchise history last night, Miami’s best professional sports team celebrated its incredible victory till the wee hours of Friday…
Unlike the “Jimmy Brooks” character he played on Canadian teen drama series Degrassi: The Next Generation, rapper Drake’s street credibility is virtually nonexistent. Rather than “gettin’ brain on Biscayne” last night, the 26-year-old pop-hopper allegedly shouted down an elderly basketball fan at the American Airlines Arena. And Miami New Times…
Statistically, the Miami Marlins are awful. At presstime, the team’s *CK: 18-44 record is the worst in baseball. This season they’ve scored only 187 runs, the fewest number by any team in all of Major League Baseball. And their on-base percentage is embarrassingly low — just .288, also MLB’s worst…
Who would’ve thunk it? After NBC pulled the plug on Gumby, the show’s main character quietly retired to Fort Lauderdale and became a regular on the Southern music festival circuit, posing for pictures with fans. At least that’s what he told Crossfade when we bumped into the jolly green guy…
