Who’s ready for a few lukewarm pints of fine Dutch pilsner and three straight, solid weeks of worldly party music? Indeed, it’s that time of the year again. It’s the sweaty season. We’re thirsty. And the fine folks over at the Rhythm Foundation have hooked us up with another edition…
Even 207 years after Lewis and Clark dared to make that first incredibly dangerous cross-continental trip, millions of Americans — like local prog-punk trio Jacobs Ladder –continue to head West, looking for fame, inspiration, intoxicants, babes of both sexes, and giant bags of cash. Needless to say, most of these…
You don’t want to let former teen idol and current rage monster Chris Brown get too close to your abuelita. All it takes is one question about C. Breezy’s personal life and that 78-year-old bitch is getting smashed like the windows at Good Morning America. But you can trust local…
See the cut for a list of all 16 U.S. dates added to Taylor Swift’s Speak Now World Tour. Taylor Swift is adorable. Like a cherry-cheeked, golden-fleeced little doll. Or your sweet, innocent baby sister. And honestly, you’d think her audience of millions was nothing other than pretty teenage girls…
Go gas up your midnight purple donk, load six Marshall stacks into that big-ass trunk, snag some Hennessy and promethazine, and pick up your girl ’cause next Friday, come sundown, we’re driving into the deep, dark, insidiously dry heat of the Arizona desert for a bass rager so brutal you’ll…
Kool Keith at Eve April 2
Bare Wires at Churchill’s Pub April 1
OK, so we’re not really that excited about Britney Spears’s hot new album Femme Fatale. Or her 11-city North American tour. Or even her local gig at the American Airlines Arena. The multiple exclamation points were gratuitous and cheap. But when a former pop tart goes bonkers, flashes crotch at…
Yesterday, the great nation of Ultra Land was 150,000 pookie heads strong. And yet today, it’s just an enormously empty concrete expanse peppered with mangled pacifiers, rolling tufts of yarn hair, and discarded furry boots. The DJs have all gone home. The cleanup crews are out. But we’re still here,…
Everyone knows the best way to smuggle drugs is stashing that weight inside something that’s not typically associated with illicitness, i.e hollowed-out copies of holy texts, extra-large coconuts, live Labrador retriever puppies, etc. So stuffing your four-year-old niece’s Hello Kitty backpack full of pills isn’t a bad strategy for evading…
Yes, we here at Crossfade are degenerate gamblers. And 12 days ago, we proved it by laying down a few bets on the outcome of the Beatport Music Awards. Well, the winners have been announced and we totally fucking cleaned up! The Beatport industry self-congratulations session went down last night…
There’s nothing creepier than watching a nearly naked full-grown adult (male or female) fiendishly suck on a little rubber nipple while writhing and humping to hardcore techno. That’s called acting like a horny baby. And it’s wrong in a million different ways. By some miracle, though, Crossfade found Leah, a…
How are you? Tired, dehydrated, out of drugs … Yeah, this debauched free-for-all so innocuously called Ultra Music Festival can really run you down. Somebody should’ve totally warned you, huh? Oh, that’s right — we did with our five-item Ultra fest survival kit. And you shoulda listened ’cause we feel…
Like 100,000 little rats that’d just found a trash bag full of back-alley speed, a massive mob of Mau5heads flooded the huge concrete field in front of Ultra Music Festival’s Main Stage last night. They were wet and sweaty. They were screaming. They were all hyped up to meet their…
We all know the human body consists of 60- to 70-percent water. And that’s why your friendly family doctor suggests that every human being should suck back several liters of liquid per day. Neglecting your body’s need for pure, precious H2O will result in constipation, chapped lips, cold hands, lack…
You tweetcasted from the port-a-potty. You got goofy and sunburned with Simian Mobile Disco, Boys Noize, and a middle-aged, glowstick-wielding paramedic at Day Two of Ultra Music Festival. And then (so long as you didn’t overdo it and pass out in a trash pile behind the Tower of Ultra) your…
One of the quintessential Ultra Music Festival experiences that rarely gets any press is the average attendee’s trip to the port-a-potty. Well, I was waiting in line last night at 10:14 p.m. trying not to piss my pants and thought, “Somebody’s gotta document it. Why not me?” But whipping out…
OMFG, the Ultra Music Festival grounds are littered with glowsticks. There are red ones, blue ones, green ones, bright ones, dull ones, dead ones, smashed ones, fat ones, skinny ones, short ones, long ones, and some you don’t even want to touch for fear of dibutyl phthalate contamination and STDs…
Over the last 18 hours, we here at Crossfade have provided you with 18 reports from our first day wandering through Ultra Land and beyond. So far, we’ve played a few rounds of Ultra Bingo. We’ve gone to pool parties and Sunday School. We’ve enjoyed sweaty encounters with CSS, Erasure,…
Holy crap, how could we forget? The non-relevant ’80s band! Of course, this particular Ultra Bingo square was explicitly concocted in honor of Duran Duran. Just look closely and you’ll see that the illustration is actually the cover of 1983’s multi-platinum Rio. But when we were at Ultra Music Festival…
Late last night, just as midnight hit and the Ultra Music Festival’s Main Stage MC was breaking up the party, we saw an enormous creature pop out of a hole in the ground. We were like, “WTF?” And then we took a closer look … It was actually a human…
Guy in gasmask, pointing toward Duran Duran’s lead singer Simon Le Bon: “My dad totally hated that dude!” Girl in smiley face bikini: “What? Him? Why?” Guy in gasmask: “‘Cause my mom really, really, really wanted to fuck him. She was crazy obsessed with that song about a wolf or…
