When Will Marc Anthony Stop Crying and Sing Again?

Following his nasty, shocking split from America’s favorite Latina ice queen, salsa-pop singer and semi-serious actor Marc Anthony’s been in the news a lot. Of course, when we say news, we mean that his bony face has been splashed all over tabloid rags, celebrity gossip websites, and supposedly reputable entertainment…

Who Wants Free Tickets to Chromeo’s Show at the Fillmore Miami Beach?

Even as night falls, you’ve gotta keep it business casual. Just ask masters of smoothness David Macklovitch and Patrick Gemayel. Better known as Dave 1 and P-Thugg of Chromeo, these electro-funk freaks will teach your amateur ass all about the finer points of staying sexy, keeping it fresh, and making…

Who Wants Free Tickets and a Four-Night Hotel Stay for the Deluna Fest?

Now and again, the average music fan needs to escape the humdrum realities of daily life by fleeing to some alluringly exotic locale (say, uh, Pensacola), sucking back loads of intoxicants (only legal shit, of course), and vibing out to a cross-genre clusterfuck of awesome tuneage at a really rad…

KC of the Sunshine Band: I Don’t Look Like Rush Limbaugh at a Bar Mitzvah!

Between 1974 and ’78, America’s youth got hooked on a truly putrid form of faddish dance music called disco. The shirts were sickeningly shiny. The pants were excruciatingly tight. And Miami’s own KC (born Harry Wayne Casey), along with his Sunshine Band, provided the soundtrack for this sweaty, polyester-clad shuffle…

Oily Bods and Beach Balls at Lords South Beach’s Cabana Boy Pool Party

There’s nothing better than strapping on your Speedo, soaking up some rays, and getting a little tipsy in the plunge pool at “an appropriately oriented hotel” like Lords South Beach while oily bods and beach balls fly around willy-nilly. As Lords itself proclaims, that’s the kind of “fun, posh, friendly,…

Langerado Music Festival 2011 Canceled

In March, the Langerado Music Festival announced its return after a long two-year abscence, exclaiming, “the wait is officially over.” Backed by Florida’s Boros Entertainment and Austin’s C3 Presents, there was hope that Langerado could avoid being sunk — as it had in 2009 — by “‘sluggish ticket sales,’ and…

TV on the Radio Announce Miami Show at the Fillmore October 25

Have you’ve seen (or, well, heard) Nine Types of Light? It’s the new-ish album by Brooklyn’s TV on the Radio and it’s so blindingly brilliant that if a weak-eyed, sensitive-eared indie kid such as yourself isn’t very, very, very careful (i.e. UV-shield sunglasses and silicone), he or she could end…

Bruise Cruise 2012 Adds Fucked Up, Vivian Girls, The Togas, and Others

The awesome promise of sea-faring adventure with Thee Oh Sees, Quintron and Miss Pussycat, DJ Jonathan Toubin, the Soft Pack, the Dirtbombs, and Neil Hamburger should’ve been enough for you to grab your sunglasses, stuff your hipster junk into a banana hammock (or perhaps a palm tree-print bathing suit), and…

Apparently, Kim Kardashian’s “Jam” Video Is Not a Sex Tape

Stumbling upon Perez Hilton’s most recent video post about Kim Kardashian, we exclaimed, “Sweet, another sex tape!,” removed our pants, and hit the play button. For the first 23 seconds, we were really digging it. Sweaty and scantily clad with a face full of smeared makeup, there’s Kim K., dressed…

Four South Beach Clubs Make “Most Expensive Nightclubs in America” List

Newsflash! South Beach is a cesspool of Sodom and Gommorrah-style excess! While most Americans are collecting pennies from public fountains, replacing the ground beef in their Hamburger Helper with cat food, and crapping their pants in fear of the dreaded double-dip recession, SoBe residents (and the superrich jetsetters they schmooze,…

Rescheduled Identity Festival Miami Tickets On Sale Today

Thanks to a raging bitch named Irene, the Identity Festival’s originally scheduled Miami stop got canceled. Or, as the official ID Fest statement said: “Due to the potential effects of Hurricane Irene, the Thursday, August 25 date of the Identity Festival presented by Skullcandy is being postponed. Details regarding a…

Hot Bikinis and Hard Beats at Sunday Dreamin’ Pool Party

When Miami isn’t being threatened with monsoon rains, catastrophic flooding, and 180-mph winds by monster-sized hurricanes raging through the hot summer waters of the Atlantic Ocean, it’s a nice place to have a pool party. On the last day of every weekend, Ryan Evans, Ruen, and an entourage of cabana…