2 Live Crew’s Uncle Luke: No Mandatory Retirement for Rappers!

A memo from Uncle Luke to all y’all haters who seem to think the hip-hop industry should institute some sorta superstrict mandatory retirement policy … Screw you. That shit’s ageist. In today’s edition of Luke’s Gospel, entitled “Jay-Z, Eminem, and Rick Ross Are Never Too Old For Rap,” New Times’s…

Madonna Announces 2012 World Tour With Miami Concert

For every fat, drunk American football fan who couldn’t even sit (or, uh, dance) through Madonna’s 12-minute Super Bowl XLVI halftime bonanza, there are millions of giddy pop music fans in party towns like Istanbul, Zagreb, Warsaw, Kansas City, and St. Paul who’d be totally willing to blow their entire…

Hard’s Holy Ship! Electronic Music Cruise “Will Return in 2013”

Exactly 26 days ago, Hard’s Holy Ship! electronic music cruise packed Skrillex, Steve Aoki, Fatboy Slim, Rusko, Diplo, A-Trak, dozens of other professional party starters, and 3000 beat freaks onto the MSC Poesia for a full weekend of uhntz-uhntz-ing across the high seas. And yes, there were a couple of…

O’Grime Dedicate “Kush Smoke & Pussy” to “Women Who Smoke Weed”

Whenever O’Grime’s L.Rey and Nikolais Javan ain’t too busy playing video games and enjoying domework, they’re cranking out absurd and amazing rap vids dedicated to stuff like strippers ass-smashing Nachos Supreme, the handsomeness of Miami Heat center Udonis Haslem, or “#Planking On Yo Bitch.” And their latest shot of audio-visual…

Who Wants Free Tickets to Bruise Cruise Two-Day Kickoff Party in Miami?

After being brutally rocked ‘n’ rolled for seven hard, sweaty, superintense hours at last year’s Bruise Cruise kickoff party, everyone was totally exhausted. Eyes were bleary. Hair was messed. Mascara was smeared. It was basically an all-night, non-stop garage-y gangbang. And as we said in our post-show recap: “Most Bruisers…

Bruise Cruise 2012 Party Plan: An Unofficial, Expanded, Five-Day Guide

Ahoy, hipsters! Welcome to the second annual Bruise Cruise Festival, “a three-day tropical rock extravaganza” set to sail outta the Port of Miami and straight for Nassau, Bahamas, like some kinda dream ship for cool kids in search of a Spring Break that doesn’t suck. The passenger list: You and…

Party With Porn Star Cherokee D’Ass at Miami’s Take One Strip Club

Listen up, all y’all porn-y playas. Go party with sex professional, adult entrepreneur, and genuinely sweet chick Cherokee D’Ass tonight. She’ll be droppin’ her famously fat, 47-inch booty at Little Haiti’s Take One Cocktail Lounge while DJ Black Holiday cranks out the XXX soundtrack. Now don’t feel weird about introducing…

¡Mayday! Announces Release Date for New Album Take Me To Your Leader

No doubt, those ¡Mayday! homies ain’t afraid to hustle. As we here at Crossfade reported last Thursday, the 305’s raddest hip-hop collective is already prepping for Tech N9ne’s Hostile Takeover tour, an insane sked of 90 shows in 99 days with Machine Gun Kelly, Krizz Kaliko, Prozak, and Stevie Stone…

South Beach’s LGBT Winter Party Festival Seeks “PG-13 Go-Go Dancers”

Are you a sporadically employed adult (i.e. 18 or older) who likes to spend his or her spare time (mornings, afternoons, late nights, etc.) wandering around South Beach, stripping down, oiling up, and shaking ass? Well, Winter Party Festival needs your help. The annual six-day LGBT extravaganza, AKA “the hottest…