All Hail Jungle Drums

When you hear the words animal tropical, the creatures that come to mind are probably marmosets, macaws, and tree frogs — not a bunch of smartly coiffed indie dudes who smell like pipe smoke. Nevertheless, Animal Tropical is a Miami-based quartet (singer Jose Castello, bassist Jarrett Hann, guitarist Kristopher Pabon,…

The Art of Flying

From the remote locale of Denver, Colorado, that electronic music hotbed beyond the Rocky Mountain range, one-man gothic/house/dub act Pictureplane is taking off. And by “taking off,” we mean he’s going to the airport, buying a ticket, boarding a commercial aircraft, and flying approximately four hours to Miami. Why? Because…

Garage Tapes: Otto Von Schirach at Artopia

Last night’s New Times banger got off to a lukewarm start. But by 10:30 p.m., the crowd was finally ready to fucking party. With unknown quantities of free Barefoot pinot grigio and a couple hundred pisscups of Magic Hat #9 turning their brains to sponges, people shed their inhibitions and…

Seafood in Your Booze at Alonzo’s Oyster Bar

Wise men and idiots alike have uttered the words, “Food is better when it’s booze.” But the intelligence of the utterer has absolutely no bearing on the truth of the matter. Booze food is better. And there are three main reasons why: 1) Swallowing takes less effort than chewing; 2)…

Get a Date with the Yuppy Club at the Bookstore in the Grove

Contrary to conventional thinking, chicks dig guys who read. But how can the solitary act of enjoying a good book actually get you girls? Do it in public. On the first Tuesday of every month the Bookstore in the Grove hosts the Young Professional’s Book Club. Join up because like every…

Win McCarthy and Harry Crofton Bring the Weeklong Art Party to White Vinyl

It’s entirely possible you’ve never attended a proper art party. It’s entirely possible you’re ignorant to the ways of the average artiste. It’s entirely possible you don’t have a cocktail dress appropriate for schmoozing and losing with brainiac MFAs and their pals. Well, don’t worry. For this week’s Loose Exchange exhibition…

Shock and Awe

Unless you woo the kind of girl who routinely spends Saturday night watching Faces of Death while self-mutilating with a stove-fired butter knife, Sarah Kane’s Blasted isn’t first-date material. When the play made its 1995 premiere in London, people fled the theater on the edge of puking and Daily Mail…

The Arch Address

When Desmond Tutu was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984, the battle to end South African apartheid was far from over. Tutu had already endured nonstop state harassment for more than ten years, but many of his comrades had suffered much worse. Activist Steve Biko had been murdered by…

Far-Out, Spacey Stuff

Ostensibly, the “Space as Medium” group exhibition at the Miami Art Museum (101 W. Flagler St., Miami) is a sly curatorial attempt to trace the evolutionary arc of space-based sculpture, installation, and performance art from the 1960s through the present day. However, as the exhibit enters the final two weeks…

Sisterhoodliness

For a pixie-ish twin-sister act like Tegan and Sara, the inherent novelty and cuteness of your situation can be both a good and a bad thing. It’s good because two physically identical 20-something siblings writing songs and strumming guitars in perfect unison is an automatic marketing hook. It’s good because…

Anything But Blank

Born and raised in the Germantown section of Philly, Amanda Blank isn’t just a girl. She’s a whole gang. Or at least she raps like it. Where most hipster spitters might invite a roomful of semifamous friends to guest on their A-side, Blank summons some kind of multiple personality disorder…

The Super Bowl Gets Super Orange with Jersey Shore‘s Snooki

Lately, Miami’s got this glow. It’s a summery shimmering that one can only call … Orange. And we should all thank the cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore and its very special skin tone for our city’s newfound luminescence. So bless you, Snooki, JWoww, the Situation, and the rest. You’ve immeasurably…

Fight Like a Little Guy

There’s a bit of old dogfighting wisdom that says the best battles happen when a trainer pits the tiniest pups from two related litters against one another. But because the fighting of dogs is a disgusting, immoral endeavor and the fighting of men is not, why don’t we see what…

A Plague of Monsters

As you hurriedly pack the entire family into your standard-size pickup for this Saturday’s Monster Jam, you’ll inevitably have some last-minute questions, such as: (1) Should Grandma wear noise-canceling headphones? (2) Do babies need tickets? and (3) Is it true Grave Digger is possessed by the souls of the million…

Drink Like a Louisianan Gentleman at News Lounge

Unless you’re an agoraphobic paraplegic sports hater without a TV, radio, internet access, a newspaper subscription, windows, or ears, it’s blatantly obvious in every way that Super Bowl week is only days away. And since the Saints have finally made their first Big Show after four decades of either second-…