305 Photo of the Day: Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay
Today’s photo of the day comes from the Flickr of “sateshddirect.” If you would like to see your picture here, join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
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Marlins Fans Start White House Petition to Force Out Jeffrey Loria
Breaking news: People want Jeffrey Loria to sell the Marlins. So much so, in fact, that someone has started an official White House petition to pass legislation that would force Loria to sell the team and allow him to get right back to selling artwork full time…
Proposed “Revenge Porn” Bill Would Make Releasing Your Sex Tape a Felony
Ever think about uploading that sex tape you made with your ex to the Internet? Well, you might want to think twice about it if you live in Florida, because victims of “revenge porn” soon may not have to take it, uh, lying down anymore. There’s a bill working its way…
Florida Highway Patrol Busts Soup Bandit Who Nabbed $75,000 Worth of Broth
Eusebio Diaz Acosta made it all the way to Tamarac with his stolen tractor-trailer full of soup, but that is where his dream of soup-filled days would end — until soup day in jail, that is. In the most un-Goodfellas heist ever, Acosta is charged with stealing a tractor-trailer full of $75,000…
Meet the North Miami Mayoral Candidate Who Says She’s Under a Voodoo Attack
North Miami mayoral candidate Anna Pierre needs your prayers because someone has opened a can of voodoo on her ass. On Easter Sunday, Pierre says, she discovered what appeared to be your typical “Voodoo Starter Kit” in front of her campaign headquarters’ doors. Over the past few months, this twisted…
305 Photo of the Day: Bombs Over Bayside
Today’s Photo of the Day comes from “The real Miami Vice” Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
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Uniformed Florida Keys Deputy Arrested After Buying Drugs From Informant
Monroe County Deputy Jaime Miranda pulled into a Winn-Dixie parking lot Saturday night and left with a whole lot of beef — the kind of beef that will get you a crapload of time in the joint. Miranda is accused of buying drugs from an informant, all while in uniform…
Man Retracing Ponce De Leon’s Route To Cuba on a Jet Ski
How does one best celebrate the 500th anniversary of Ponce de Leon’s discovery of Florida? By retracing his epic journey via Jet Ski, of course! Álvaro de Marichalar, a man already famous for pulling off a Rome-to-New York trip via Jet Ski, is trying to do just that.After a reception…
Florida Woman Charged With DUI With Three Kids in Car Blames It On Her Mother-in-Law
Kimberly Noelle Martin just wanted to use the bathroom, but the strong arm of Kangaroo Gas station attendants had different plans. Police were called by an observant Kangaroo employee who noticed Martin pulling into the station all Crazy Taxi-like with three kids in the backseat.Martin later blew .210 on a…
Miami Dolphins and County Agree To “Framework” On Sun Life Deal
Miami voters are one step closer this morning to getting the chance to weigh in on whether their tax dollars should go toward another big-ticket stadium project. Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Giminez announced that the city and the Miami Dolphins have agreed on a basic “framework” for a deal that would…
2013 Miami Marlins Lineup: A Position-by-Position Analysis
2013 Miami Marlins Lineup: A Position-by-Position Analysis
Melo Drops 50 as Knicks Beat Depleted Heat 102-90
Heat fans tuning in for a possible Eastern Conference Finals preview Tuesday night were instead treated to another helping of the Miami Heat “B-Team” with an extra-large side of Carmelo Anthony ass. Anthony sizzled all night long, finishing with a career-high-tying 50 points as the New York Knicks pulled away…
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Bosh Hits Game Winner to Beat Spurs 88-86 in Matchup Without James and Wade
Backups? We ain’t got no stinkin’ backups! San Antonio seems like a good place to take a nap, and indeed rest is what the Miami Heat did while visiting the city Sunday, sitting LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Mario Chalmers with various minor injuries. Sending out a starting lineup of…
Meet the 2013 Miami Marlins! A Position-By-Position Analysis of Baseball’s Worst Lineup
Step right up, meet your 2013 Miami Marlins, same as the 2012 Miami Marlins — only completely different! If you’re anything like me, you’re angry, you’re hurt, and you may or may not say to yourself during a jog, “Hey, that’s a good place to hide a body named Jeffrey…
Heat’s Winning Streak Ends at 27 With Loss in Chicago
If you have a heart condition or are pregnant, you should not continue reading this article due to possible health-related concerns: The Miami Heat lost. Nope, don’t update your Miami New Times app; this is today’s news. No need to check if today is April 1, still a few days…
Heat Takes Care of Magic 108-94, Wins 27th Straight Game
Another night, another Miami Heat win — it’s whatever, bro. The Heat took its 27th straight win Monday night, turning what was a close game late in the third quarter into a ball-stomping 108-94 blowout of the Orlando Magic. Once again without Dwyane Wade, the Heat was able to blow…
Heat Comes Back From 27 Points Down, Rally to Beat Cavs for 24th Straight Win
Just when you think the Miami Heat can’t possibly take your emotions to a higher place than they have already been this season, an ordinary Wednesday night in Cleveland happens — and the streak pushes on.Down 27 with seven minutes to play in the third quarter, the Heat decided to…
Heat Beats Boston in 105-103 Thriller to Stretch Win Streak to 23
With the game tied at 103 and less than 20 seconds left, the basketball found itself exactly where Miami Heat fans would prefer it never leave: LeBron James’s hands. Game. Blouses. It’s a Miami Heat World right now, ladies and gentlemen, and we are just living in it.James rattled in…
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The Heat’s Winning Streak Hits 22, the Second-Longest Ever, With Victory Over Raptors
For a moment on this lazy Sunday afternoon in Toronto, it seemed as though it might all end for the Miami Heat exactly where it began. For a moment. With the game tied at 77 early in the fourth, the Heat turned on, well, the heat, blasting off on a…
Heat Wins 20th Straight, Holds Off Pesky Sixers 98-94
After last season’s championship, Dwyane Wade famously wore a “Team No Sleep” shirt, referring to the shuteye he intended to get the nights following the Heat’s title win. On Wednesday evening, Team No Sleep took a more literal meaning, as the Miami Heat played like a team that got in…
Heat Beats Hawks 98-81 for 19th Straight Win
Right now, winning is the Miami Heat’s business, and business is good. For the 19th straight time, the Miami Heat won, this time 98-81 over the Atlanta Hawks Tuesday night. The Heat never trailed in this game, because trailing is the cousin of losing, and losing is not an option in…
Heat’s Win Streak Hits 18 as Bosh, Wade Crush Pacers 105-91
Eighteen have entered. Zero have gone home victorious. The Indiana Pacers became just the latest victim of the Heat’s insane win streak as Miami defeated the Pacers 105-91 Sunday night. The win also gave the Heat victories over every other team in the NBA this season, a franchise first. BUT…