Top Ten Moments of the 2013 Miami Heat Season

What an incredible roller-coaster ride the Miami Heat took us on this season, filled with twists and turns, ups and downs, and in the end, utter satisfaction. It’s rare that a sequel out-awesomes the original, but the 2013 Miami Heat season did just that. It was The Dark Knight of…

Heat Are Back-to-Back NBA Champs After 95-88 Game 7 Win

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddd STILL NBA Champions of the Woooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrlddddddddd. Your Miami Heat are once again on top of the basketball world, beating San Antonio in Game 7 of the NBA Finals 95-88. LeBron James takes home his second straight Finals MVP award, capping off the series with a legendary 37-point, 12-rebound performance…

Game 6 Preview: The Big Three Era Comes Down To Tonight

The term “must-win” is rather carelessly thrown about in sports. Following the Heat’s Game One loss to the Chicago Bulls in the East Semi-Finals, the term popped up because one could not fathom the Heat going down 0-2 to Chicago, much less losing both home games to start the series…

Big Three Combine for 85 Points as Heat Wins Game Four 109-93

Dwyane Wade and LeBron James combined for 65 points last night and Chris Bosh scored 20 to lead the Miami Heat to a critical series-equalizing, 109-93 Game Four win. Phewww! The win guarantees the series will end in Miami, as the Heat takes back the home-court advantage it earned with…

Spurs Outlast Heat 92-88, Steal Home-Court Advantage

Tony Parker flailed, fell, right hand yellow, left leg red, got back up and hit a shot with 5.2 seconds left to seal a Game One, 92-88 San Antonio Spurs win. Parker was a menace all game long for Miami, finishing with 21 points and 6 assists. Tim Duncan merp…

2013 NBA Finals Preview: Five Heat vs. Spurs Matchups to Watch

We have reached the season three finale of Miami Heat Against the World, the greatest show in television history. Just when you think the show has peaked and might get canceled, it gets renewed for another four episodes. In its third consecutive finals appearance, the Heat now takes on the…

Heat Beat Pacers 99-76, Advance To Third Consecutive NBA Finals

Sorry America, the Miami Heat aren’t done. When they needed it the most, the Miami Heat played perhaps their most complete game of the series eliminating the Indiana Pacers with a 99-76 victory that was all of the exhales. LeBron James led all scorers with another classic MVP performance, scoring…

Pacers Outlast Heat 99-92, Even Series 2-2

The Indiana Pacers beat the Heat Tuesday night 99-92 in a game that provided Heat fans with enough testicular torsion to last a lifetime. With the Spurs already in the clubhouse, the NBA sent Joey Crawford his Verne Troyer penis-looking face out to throw his entire bag of fouls onto…

Heat Beat Pacers 114-96, Snatch Back Home-Court Advantage

Nobody makes the Miami Heat bleed their own blood. Once again the Heat followed one of those rare annoying things people call “a loss” with an epic ass-stomping performance, this time a 114-96 game three win over Indiana. Miami’s shooting was locked in all night, led by Udonis Haslem who…

LeBron Layup at the Buzzer Gives Heat 103-102 OT Win, Series Lead

LeBron James cordially invites you to a huge helping of his clutch gene, located on his gigantic clutch manliness. Staring down the barrel of a heartbreaking game one overtime loss, LeBron James drove to the hole with 2.2 seconds left and hit the game-winning layup to propel your Miami Heat…

Heat Stomp Chicago 88-65, Take 3-1 Series Lead

You make the Miami Heat angry, you deal with the repercussions. The Miami Heat came to Chicago looking to take back home court advantage, and now they’re leaving with a sweep of the two games and a chance to finish the series back in Miami on Wednesday. Miami easily handled…

Heat Stomp Bulls 115-78, Even Series

Back up in your ass with the resurrection, Chicago. The Miami Heat got some sweet revenge Wednesday night beating the Bulls 115-78 — their worst ever playoff defeat, and at the same time the Heat’s all-time biggest playoff win — so that went well. Miami shot 50 percent from three…

Miami Loses Home Court, Game One to Bulls 93-86

Welcome to the 2013 NBA Playoffs, Miami Heat. Oh by the way, you just lost home court advantage. The Chicago Bulls came into Miami last night and shocked the Heat 93-86, taking Game 1 and at the same time putting the Heat on notice that this series will be anything…