Dwyane Wade and LeBron James combined for 65 points last night and Chris Bosh scored 20 to lead the Miami Heat to a critical series-equalizing, 109-93 Game Four win. Phewww! The win guarantees the series will end in Miami, as the Heat takes back the home-court advantage it earned with…
The good news is the Miami Heat took advantage of a little known NBA rule that states you can only lose once a night. The bad news is we have to play with footballs the rest of the series because the San Antonio Spurs shoved all the basketballs up the…
Tiago Splitter rose up full-throttle, mean-mugged and toting bad intentions and a handful of basketball, and just then, LeBron James screamed, “You DO NOT collect $200, and you DO NOT PASS TIA-GO!” The play was key in a 30-5 run that made you slap yo mama and helped the Miami…
Tony Parker flailed, fell, right hand yellow, left leg red, got back up and hit a shot with 5.2 seconds left to seal a Game One, 92-88 San Antonio Spurs win. Parker was a menace all game long for Miami, finishing with 21 points and 6 assists. Tim Duncan merp…
We have reached the season three finale of Miami Heat Against the World, the greatest show in television history. Just when you think the show has peaked and might get canceled, it gets renewed for another four episodes. In its third consecutive finals appearance, the Heat now takes on the…
Sorry America, the Miami Heat aren’t done. When they needed it the most, the Miami Heat played perhaps their most complete game of the series eliminating the Indiana Pacers with a 99-76 victory that was all of the exhales. LeBron James led all scorers with another classic MVP performance, scoring…
Faced with a second half deficit and a seemingly inevitable Game Five loss, LeBron James took it upon himself to break the emergency glass surrounding his unstoppableness and unleash it upon the Indiana Pacers. There were no reported survivors. LeBron came out of the halftime locker room ready to make…
The Indiana Pacers beat the Heat Tuesday night 99-92 in a game that provided Heat fans with enough testicular torsion to last a lifetime. With the Spurs already in the clubhouse, the NBA sent Joey Crawford his Verne Troyer penis-looking face out to throw his entire bag of fouls onto…
Nobody makes the Miami Heat bleed their own blood. Once again the Heat followed one of those rare annoying things people call “a loss” with an epic ass-stomping performance, this time a 114-96 game three win over Indiana. Miami’s shooting was locked in all night, led by Udonis Haslem who…
LeBron James cordially invites you to a huge helping of his clutch gene, located on his gigantic clutch manliness. Staring down the barrel of a heartbreaking game one overtime loss, LeBron James drove to the hole with 2.2 seconds left and hit the game-winning layup to propel your Miami Heat…
A year ago the Indiana Pacers gave the Miami Heat quite the scare. The Heat found themselves down 2-1 and without Chris Bosh, who left with an abdomen injury early in game 1, in addition to a banged up Dwyane Wade — things looked bleak. The Heat would go on…
Big offense early and tough defense late helped the Heat close out the Bulls 94-91 Wednesday night to advance to the Eastern Conference Finals. LeBron finished with 23 points, seven rebounds, and eight assists, leading the Heat who will face the winner of the Knicks-Pacers series that Indiana currently leads…
You make the Miami Heat angry, you deal with the repercussions. The Miami Heat came to Chicago looking to take back home court advantage, and now they’re leaving with a sweep of the two games and a chance to finish the series back in Miami on Wednesday. Miami easily handled…
Back up in your ass with the resurrection, Chicago. The Miami Heat got some sweet revenge Wednesday night beating the Bulls 115-78 — their worst ever playoff defeat, and at the same time the Heat’s all-time biggest playoff win — so that went well. Miami shot 50 percent from three…
Tim Tebow to the Dolphins! How We Trolled Twitter to Believe a Crazy Rumor
Welcome to the 2013 NBA Playoffs, Miami Heat. Oh by the way, you just lost home court advantage. The Chicago Bulls came into Miami last night and shocked the Heat 93-86, taking Game 1 and at the same time putting the Heat on notice that this series will be anything…
I love Twitter a lot — like 83,000-tweets-and-counting a lot. So I didn’t troll everyone yesterday with fake news about Tim Tebow joining the Dolphins because I was mad. I did it because it would be funny, and also because it’s fascinating how information goes viral — particularly in the…
The Miami Heat minus an injured Dwyane Wade closed out the Milwaukee Bucks Sunday afternoon with an 88-77 victory, sweeping the best-of-seven series four games to none. As was a theme in this series, the Bucks lulled the Miami Heat to sleep for three quarters, hanging around until the Heat…
The Miami Heat overcame a dismal first half Thursday night to defeat Milwaukee 104-91 to take a commanding 3-0 lead in this best of four series. Ray Allen came off the bench to score 23 points, hitting five of eight threes, while LeBron James finished with 22 points, six assists,…
The Heat survived an off night from LeBron and a sluggish first half to beat the Milwaukee Bucks 98-86 Tuesday night, taking a 2-0 lead in this best of seven first round matchup. Dwyane Wade led all Heat scorers with 21 points, and looked like the 2006 version of himself…
Operation Defend the Throne got off to a businesslike start Sunday night as the Miami Heat kicked off the playoffs with a 110-87 game one victory over the Milwaukee Bucks. The Heat never trailed, with LeBron James leading the way with 27 points, ten rebounds, and eight assists in 35…
If you’re anything like me, you already have butterflies. The Miami Heat are ready to defend the throne, in what should be another fantastic few weeks of some of the best sports entertainment this town has ever witnessed. The Miami Heat enter the NBA Playoffs as the clear-cut favorite to…
