Heat fans have been on a roller coaster of emotion this week watching King James win a title in Cleveland. Some were happy for LBJ. Others joined #TeamPetty to root hard against the Heat’s former savior. Wherever you land on the spectrum, the simple fact is that LeBron wouldn’t…
In the end, LeBron James wins. That haze in the distance you see is the collective souls of #TeamPetty floating up to pettiness heaven, leaving the bodies of Miami Heat fans who can no longer deny the obvious: LeBron James is a bad mother-bleeper. As the kids say, game recognize…
It’s hard to believe in the middle of June, but real Miami Dolphins football is inching closer and closer. This week is the next step toward the NFL’s return, as the Dolphins conduct their annual mini-camp. This season is more intriguing than most because the Dolphins have a new coach…
Maybe you haven’t heard, but there are a few Miami Heat fans rooting against LeBron James in the NBA Finals. These Miami Heat fans laugh in the face of LeBron’s failure in Cleveland. They fist pump every Warriors basket. They retweet every funny sad-LeBron meme. They bask in his frustration and…
The Marlins are in the news again. That’s never good. As word spread Friday afternoon that legendary Hall of Fame boxer Muhammad Ali was in increasingly bad health, people began to ready themselves for them seemingly inevitable news of his passing. As day turned to night, that news had yet…
It’s officially whale hunting season for Pat Riley, and the biggest fish is on it’s way to the market. The Oklahoma City Thunder’s crushing collapse against the Golden State Warriors in the Western Conference Finals means Kevin Durant is now officially a few days into the offseason, and only a…
In 2020 Miami will host the Super Bowl for a record eleventh time; that’s for sure. It’s still a question though, whether South Florida will benefit from hosting the game.. After being turned down since 2010, Stephen Ross and his self-financed $450 million stadium upgrade finally lured a Super Bowl…
Chances are you didn’t miss the Marlins being in the news this week for suing their own fans, but if you did, that’s a thing that is happening. What you may have missed is some Marlins news within the news, literally; Marlins TV host Craig Minervini went all cyber-Anchorman-feuding with…
Hey, remember the Miami Dolphins? The greatest football team? The one that takes the ball from goal-to-goal like no ones ever seen? The one that’s in the air, on the ground, and always in control? No? OK, how about the team that last won a playoff game when Ryan Tannehill…
Spoiler alert; The Miami Heat season is over. I’m sorry if you were binge watching and this ruined everything for you, but the rest of us can’t sit around and wait for you. Lots of good came from the 2015-16 Miami Heat season, but then again, lots of bad came…
Now that the Miami Heat’s body is cold, we can officially call it a season and get to work on what the team needs to do to come back even stronger next year. Not only does the NBA offseason feel like the shortest of any sport, but the offseason itself…
Miami Heat fans might be witnessing the most confusingly heroic and disgustingly enjoyable brand of their team’s playoff basketball ever. Each playoff game has been a bag of jelly beans: a fair share of deliciously fruity moments, mixed with some disgusting black licorice ones. Well, nobody said it was going…
In case you missed it over the weekend, Dwyane Wade really pissed off some Canadians. I know. Scary, eh?On a scale of zero-to-holy-shit-worried, saying you pissed off some Canadians ranks somewhere below your wife saying if you don’t leave the house soon you’re going to miss the previews before the…
While April and May have most Miami sports fans dedicating their attention to the basketball team in town, last week, for a few hours at least, the Dolphins got some play. There were some surprisingly interesting things to come out of the NFL Draft, some of which had to do…
The year was 1994 and a private investigator from Miami named Ace Ventura who specialized in the retrieval of lost animals was suddenly the most important man in the city. Snowflake, the Miami Dolphins beloved mascot had just been abducted only two-weeks before the Super Bowl. The above description perfectly…
Normally, your average Miami Dolphins sixth round draft pick wouldn’t exactly move the fan bases attention needle past a “Huh, cool.” But Texas Tech wide receiver Jakeem Grant, whom the Phins took 186th overall this weekend, is apparently not your average dude. Grant, all 5’6 of him, is a firecracker…
Happy NFL-Draft Eve, Dolphins fans! Hold onto your butts, because the next chapter Miami Dolphins draft history is just a day away. It’s like the day before a new season of House of Cards lands, except it’s been going on for fifty seasons, Kevin Spacey retired years ago, and things…
Now the NBA playoffs have really started for the Miami Heat. After two games of absolutely scorching shooting to open the playoffs had the Heat as the talk of the postseason, Miami was undoubtedly the hottest team in the NBA, and seemingly on a collision course with the Cleveland Cavs. The Charlotte…
This off-season, the Miami Dolphins have traveled farther and wider than any team to find new talent for their cheer squad. On Saturday, the search for new members will take place in their own backyard. Last month New Times spoke to the football team about how their unprecedented search for…
The time has finally come. Game of Thrones season six premieres this Sunday and we literally can’t even. We are without the ability to deal. We are so delirious it has us fantasizing and contemplating what Westeros would be like in an alternate universe. One where HBO decided to cast a bunch…
Well, that didn’t take long. Less than two years after LeBron James left the Heat, here they are, not only back in the NBA playoffs, but back in a position to fight for another trip to the NBA Finals. The Heat’s retooling and transformation since the Big Three era has…
Yesterday the NBA announced Kawhi Leonard had won his second-straight NBA Defensive Player of the Year award. This surprised almost no one. Kawhi Leonard is something out of the Matrix. He is somehow always in five places at once. He is an unsolvable Rubik’s Cube of a defender. He alone…
