Hello, Kitty: I have a major dilemma. I’m a gay male who’s becoming curious about women. I have never been with a woman sexually. The problem is that I do not want to pay for sex because I’m not sure I will be able to go through with it. I’ve…
There was a time when the word swing evoked memories of flying through the air with a cascade of chain links tethering you to a rickety wooden frame. But now, thanks to guys named Ted, their wives named Maureen, and their kinky neighbors named Don and Susan, swinging means two…
If your mom accused a teenage you of spending too much time in your room clutching an Atari joystick, your mouth would say, “Fine, after I lose this man,” while the little guy in your head yelled out a hearty, “Shut the fuck up!” Nowadays, you have needy lovers who…
There was a time when New York promoters controlled the South Beach party scene, and on any given night, the clubs were filled with hip-hop that seemed to be piped directly from the Tunnel or a late-night Hot 97 broadcast. Nowadays, you’ll hear more dance than Nas, and see more…
Instead of catching a flight to the bright lights of Broadway, take a quick ride to Biscayne Boulevard to get your theater fix this season. And if you think that means the usual daily crackhead productions, you’re mistaken. The Arsht Center and Broadway Across America want to turn your cultural…
Depending on which portion of the King of Pop’s legacy you gobble up, you might have conflicting feelings about his death. Celebrate the amazing song that is “Billie Jean,” or rejoice in the demise of someone who might have been trying to get into little Billy’s jeans. Whichever way your…
Magic City Kitty: Gay man seeks sex with a woman
Comedian DeRay Davis is at the Miami Improv til Sunday, and he’s been called the next king of urban comedy so just like you’ll be forced to fulfill the club’s two drink minimum, you’ll be LYAO’ing too. Of course Rock Fashion and Funkshion Weeks are still rolling, rolling, rolling. Singer/songwriter/producer/bad…
Fashion weeks are like assholes — nearly every city has them. And while the offerings from New York, Paris, and Milan are hands down the most influential, it’s hard to ignore our Funkshion and Rock Fashion when they are capable of resurrecting Pam Anderson’s iconic Baywatch suit and showing Dennis…
Hello, Kitty: After eight long years of friendship, I’m ready to tell my bff I’m in love with her. When we first met, it was under the pretense that I wanted to date her, but she shot me down completely. She said I wasn’t her type, she’d rather be friends,…
Magic City Kitty: Friends and Maybe Lovers
For some (like us), it’s just another Friday, but for you lucky guys and dolls, it’s the beginning of a three-day weekend, and that means an extra day of debauchery. Or catching up on The Young and the Restless, whichever is more your style. Miami Carnival jumps off today,…
Hello, Kitty: After a few dates with an extremely successful businessman, I accepted an invite back to his place. He’s handsome (also 10 to 15 years my senior), and I wanted to hook up. After a round of mediocre sex, we were lounging on the bed when he scooped up…
You used to be the happy-go-lucky type, but utility bills, Facebook, and other adult responsibilities have forced you to stray from the spice of life — board games. Remember how exhilarating it was to find out that Colonel Mustard had clocked a muthafucka in the library with a candlestick? Or…
In the early ’60s, a music executive told young Patsy Holte she was “too plain, too dark, and too unattractive” to join his label. Then she sang. He renamed her Patti LaBelle (ironically, “the beautiful” in French), and the rest is R&B/soul history… and hair. Because while everyone knows Miss…
Long before people thought to desecrate their bodies with dripping ice cubes and chocolate-covered cherries, tattoos were a means of representing your tribe, expressing your point of view, or proving you were, in fact, a total bad-ass. Though we will one day regret the tramp stamp above our butt crack,…
The Biltmore is a well-known time capsule of elegance. From its sweeping grounds to its majestic architecture, the 83-year-old hotel radiates beauty from every corner. So it should never be subjected to dances such as the cabbage patch, running man, or stanky leg. If you’re going to get down at…
Magic City Kitty: Once, Twice, Three Times a Creep
Hello, Kitty: All of my previous girlfriends have swallowed, with relish. Except two: one who would ask me to tell her when, and now my current, who runs to the bathroom to spit it out. Does not swallowing mean a relationship lacks something? What’s the rule on this? Please help.Don…
We might not have the luxury of seeing falling leaves to signal autumn’s arrival, but we can look to the moon to provide the season-changing drama. In case you hadn’t noticed, the full moons of September, October, and November rise 20 minutes earlier than usual, giving us more light. And…
As unique as people are, we certainly have one thing in common: a constant lust for food. Even a plant, actual vegetation, once demanded, “Feed me, Seymour.” And after years of slumming it at the corporate trough, real food — no matter the genre or nationality — is what counts…
If you believe in astrology, people born under the Libra moon are the most art-loving, attention-craving, charitable, and detail-oriented of the bunch. Sure, not every person born between September 24 and October 23 is supercool, innovative, and giving, but Tigertail Productions sure is. Thirty years ago, when downtown’s art scene…
