Magic City Kitty: He’s in love with a stripper. Me.

If everyone in the world was socked with the wrong side of a memory stick and forgot their age, a Miley Cyrus song would be the perfect barometer to set everyone straight. If her country-fried screech doesn’t turn you into stone, you’re in the tween zone and unqualified to vote,…

You started out braiding zigzag declarations of love called friendship bracelets, the addictive wrist confection and, color-wise, the only competitor Lisa Frank unicorns ever had. Because it’s been years since you’ve picked up a soggy spool of embroidery thread, it might be time to flex your craft muscles on the…

Magic City Kitty: Closeted lesbian wants to try ladies

Glenn Beck is in town, so instead of shaking your fist at your ’90s box, shake it at the man — live and in person. We hear he has some wonderful things to say. For another form of battle, check out Unconquered 1: November Reign for a luscious MMA fight that’ll leave…

Though legend says he stole his style from another shiny-headed, combat-boot-wearing R&B crooner, R. Kelly delivers timeless tunes about going halvsies on a baby or making women’s bodies go “toot, toot” and “beep, beep” that have proven he’s the only chrome dome that matters. He’s even hit legend status, flying…

From pictures, you can still compare him to that archetypal guy next door or assume his heart is 24-karat, but if you search his name on any news website, you’ll find some very conflicting accounts of who Chris Brown is. However, if you keep it musical and Google his name,…

When Art Basel rolls into town, try not to be blinded by its international glamour and I’m-so-cool-I-come-to-Miami-only-once-a-year bravado. Our advice: Keep your 305 spirit high and patronize the local artists who grind it out year-round. The folks at Miami’s It are all about keeping the spotlight on South Florida. Just…

Though the New York fashion set likes to tease that Miami style is all about skin-tight dresses and Ed Hardy T-shirts, let us not be judged by the dodgy clothing choices of the tourists we attract. Sure, we don’t have four full, defined seasons, and the weather lands us in…

Your platform for self-expression might be a diary, but for choreographer Gregory Maqoma, it’s the stage. Since 1999, he has traveled the world telling his story through movements that are at once strong and jovial, vulnerable and sincere, but all inspired by his life in South Africa. This Friday and…

Being one of the premiere art festivals of the year, not just any Joe Blow can show during Art Basel. You’d need connections, talent, or…a pack of markers, a glue gun, and some stray sequins. This year, the Scope Art Show has opened up their grand ol’ doors to the…

Magic City Kitty: Man seeks prostitute for rough sex

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. Go to match.com to find your mate and then go to the Antique Jewelry show to pick up the old, borrowed, and blue. Pauly Shore can’t help it if he reminds you of the ’90s. Take your time machine (the metrorail) to…

Last night, the Bas Fisher Invitational celebrated five years of artistic innovation and its newest portfolio, “Wow We Have Come This Far,” a tribute to past exhibits and a variety of works by 12 BFI alumni. The project is being sold to match a Knight Foundation grant and raise money…

To try to breeze through the accomplishments of award-winning writer, director, playwright, composer, and auteur Melvin Van Peebles would be more like making your way through an onslaught of gale-force winds.One of the pioneering black artists in America’s history, he has contributed highly acclaimed works of art such as the…