Meet the New Scene

Your snobby South Beach acquaintances and trendy downtown hipster friends might scoff, but we’re here to tell you there’s a neighborhood scene that’s been simmering to a boil in a long-forgotten corner. South Miami has become what Coconut Grove used to be and what Coral Gables wishes it were —…

Bring the Pain

The South Beach Comedy Festival is just around the corner, and this year’s lineup includes some known quantities in the world of funny. We’re talking about roastmaster general Lisa Lampanelli, ruling raunch king Jim Norton, sputtering politico and Daily Show fixture Lewis Black, and the sizzling star of The Soup,…

Day Trippers

Bars and clubs come and go in Miami Beach, and then there’s Mac’s Club Deuce. Opened in 1926 as a restaurant and nightclub, it remains an oasis of permanence, affordability, and realism in an overpriced tourist trap that often feels like a mirage. On a Friday or Saturday night, if…

Jingle Bells, Jiggly Bellies

Your tree is beautifully decorated; the stockings have been hung with care. And it’s finally here — Christmas Day — the moment you’ve been cleaning and wrapping and shop-shop-shopping in preparation for. After the presents have been opened and you’ve thrown away the wrapping paper, what’s your reward? Oh joy…

Deuces, 2008!

We can’t be the only ones ready to bid adieu to this miserable wretch of a year. It was so doom-and-gloom. At the close of 2008, the economy is in the toilet; folks are losing jobs left, right, and center; and we’re all weary from surviving an election cycle that…

Goodbye, Norma Jean

In her lifetime, Marilyn Monroe created some iconic images — the infamous 1949 Playboy nude, the revealing and playful film still from The Seven Year Itch, the Warhol pop art, and Richard Avedon’s troubled 1957 portrait. None are sadder and more poignant than the shots snapped by legendary fashion and…

Ain’t No Drag

The drag scene in Miami has been tried and tested by the vicissitudes of time. Through the years, some stars on have shone brightly, while others have simply faded away. Three primary ones remain, their names familiar even to outsiders. There’s blond glamazon Elaine Lancaster, comical cheerleader Shelley Novak, and…

Clubbing for a Cause

Clubbing is typically a selfish exercise in overindulgence. I wanna party! I wanna do shots at the bar! I’m gonna shake my ass all night long! I think I might go home with a stranger! It’s all about me, me, me. This weekend, as you hit the hotspots and guzzle…

DIY Santa

You know shit is wicked rough when luxe retailers such as Neiman Marcus and Nordstrom are offering deep discounts, and piles of Coach purses and Prada wallets are popping up at TJ Maxx, Marshalls, and Ross. Recession time, and the living ain’t easy for many a retailer. If the big…

Bad Santa

Your office Christmas party is likely a slightly buttoned-down affair. After all, your boss is gonna be bellying up to the bar beside you, so you don’t want to say or do anything too embarrassing. Besides, in these rough economic times, do you really need a reason to go job…

Beach Bummin’

Tourists visiting Miami, allow us to clear up a popular misconception. You might imagine yourself sitting under some kind of colorful striped umbrella, sipping a cocktail at some kind of beachfront restaurant while you gaze at a tranquilly lapping ocean. That ain’t gonna happen if you visit Miami Beach. In…

Don’t Forget Your Trail of Bread Crumbs

During the rest of the year, they’re considered only as real estate for children-consuming witches. But at Christmas, gingerbread houses are a charming reminder of the past. You know, back when folks strung popcorn garlands around their trees, instead of buying boxes of Martha Stewart’s glittery balls at Kmart. Building…

Under Pressure?

Shit is rough right now. People aren’t just tightening their belts, they’re puncturing new holes in the leather and sucking in for dear life. Few are feeling the pinch more than the restaurant industry. Makes sense — when times are hard, the last thing most people want to do is…

Shiny, Cold, and Beautiful

When New Times asked Miami philanthropist Myrna Palley what inspired her to purchase art, she gave a deliciously lofty and whimsical reply. “How do I know which piece to buy? I just know. I have to have it. It’s just something I want. Like, how do you know what you…

Ho Ho Ho, Woof Woof Woof

The malls are so disgustingly crowded during the holidays, sometimes you need extra help to cut through the insanity. Don’t you just wish you could take a big Rottweiler with you to clear the aisles at Body Works? Or keep your kitty cat in your purse, to unleash its claws…

Pretty in the City – Art Basel edition

Art Basel is here and the galleries of Wynwood and the Design District are packed with beautiful hip people, vying for attention with the paintings on the walls. And of course everyone is out to look their flyest. The beauty industry of Miami is well aware that the influx of…

Creative Tippling

We know there’s a percentage of visiting Art Baselites who legitimately are here for art, who care deeply about catching the hottest events so they can lay their hungry eyes on the exhibits right as they open. We’re feeling generous, so we’ll guesstimate that elite group of bona-fide art lovers…

Who’s Got Game?

At most venues in Miami Beach, you might meet a hot chick who will loudly and passionately claim she doesn’t play games. People love saying that on a first date; it makes them seem genuine and stuff. All the while, they’re wrapping you up in some kind of manipulative Jedi…

Strictly Lovers Rock

Sandwiched between the politically conscious Rastafari-influenced reggae music of the late Sixties and early Seventies, and the nursery-rhyme braggadocio of early-Eighties dancehall, was the genre known as rockers, or lovers’ rock. Heavy foundation riddims layered with earnest sentiments and pleas for reciprocal romance were the order of the day, and…

Pretty In the City – Wrapped Up in Lace

When stunningly gorgeous California native model-slash-actress Anna Elizabeth decided to open a nail spot in Miami, her vision was simple and clear. “She wanted to open a fly-ass nail shop where bitches could come and get pretty before partying,” explains John Guillot, the sassy and hilarious manager of Lace Nail…