No Whining

THU 12/18 Venevision International Theater’s production of Kvetch: The Art of Complaining calls for an end to whining. The play gets a Spanish translation, which turns it into El Arte De Quejarse. Either way it is a sharp-tongued comedy, written by British actor and playwright Stephen Berkhoff, whose mastery of…

Sayonara, Fatso

NOW 24/7 Pudge, Pudge, Pudge. How we loved chanting your name this championship season. Your chubby image spoke of determination and guts, team spirit and flavor. Pudge was cute. Pudge symbolized a tough and hungry underdog squad. In fact we got used to seeing your big J.Lo butt flabbing around…

Moving Movie

THU 12/18 If you’d rather not be bombarded by electro music at a club, you can watch it on TV. Well, it’s more like a little big screen at the Miami Beach Cinematheque (512 Española Way, Miami Beach), where at 8:30 p.m. local filmmaker and music enthusiast Iris Cegarra will…

High Hoops

THU 12/18 Two names: Antonio Wilson, Charles Bouie. Six feet 2 inches, 6 feet 8 inches, respectively. Each of these 200-plus-pound Pahokee High School hoopsters has the raw talent and physicality that can morph into a super-freak like Lebron James. This weekend’s Zoned-Out Shootout Basketball Tournament, the brainchild of local…

Jesus Christ!!

NOW 24/7 I found Jesus in a black velvet dinner jacket hanging on a rack at the Douglas Gardens Thrift Shop. Flared at the waist, the garment was tres-1970s Bob Guccione. Alas the Messiah was bleach stained and at $40 far too expensive. Despite the suede yarmulke found in the…

This Week’s Day by Day Picks

Thursday 12/18 One week until Christmas. You’ve already spent thousands of dollars on gifts (none of which is for you) and you’re not quite done shopping for others yet. You could use some major laughs. Lucky for you that comedian Richard Jeni is beginning a four-night stint at the Miami…

This Week’s Day by Day Picks

Thursday 12/11 In the midst of the crummiest Christmas of his life, Joe, the protagonist of Teatro Avante’s latest production, It’s a Fabulous Life, becomes something of a queer Jimmy Stewart. In his depths Joe asks the ultimate despairing-diva question: “What if I had never been born — gay?” The…

A Sweet Suite

FRI 12/12 Well, of course you’ve seen it before. Onstage. On TV. On ice even. Mushrooms dance to its music in Fantasia. Barbie pays homage in a ballet costume (and an animated video, in case you were curious). But you decorate the tree every year too. Does that ever get…

Sailing On

FRI 12/12 “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Famous last words from Rainer Werner Fassbinder (1945-1982), symbolic of how the prolific filmmaker and leader of New German Cinema lived, pumping out more than 30 features in his 37 years of life. Always the iconoclast, Fassbinder attempted to film the unfilmable in…

Wee Divas

THU 12/11 Barbie dolls don’t quite figure into the Miami Children’s Theater’s new production of Little Women. Based on the book by Louisa May Alcott, the play is about the antics of the 4 March sisters, and the fun and trouble they get into while growing up. They stew over…

Music to Our Eyes

FRI 12/12 Everyone is familiar with the World Trade Center collapse and the vast number of people who died as a result. But how many know that after the year or so of cleanup, all that remained in the 70-foot hole in the ground was the buildings’ foundation? Architect Daniel…

A Christmas Story

Speed down NE 96th Street in Miami Shores some nights and you might think you’ve seen a holiday miracle: camels standing patiently by the sidewalk, a tax collector nearby raking in the big bucks, a baby hanging out in a manger, angels descending from the sky. It’s not street theater…

This Week’s Day by Day Picks

Thursday 12/4 It’s that time again. Time to drape yourself head to toe in black and do your best art collector impression (a beret might be a nice touch). The mammoth event known as Art Basel is back to try to talk you into forking over your hard-earned cash for…

Plaid Prance

SAT 12/6 While Scottish actor Billy Connolly is busy frittering his talent away on that Crichtonian cow of a flick, Timeline, Florida Scots will be making their own, more enlightened, noise at the St. Andrew’s Pipe Band of Miami’s Annual Christmas Dance. When the pipers stop pipin’ hot, musical duties…

Puppet Stuff

THU 12/4 The holidays can be a feast of tension, aggravation, and reopening family wounds, so it’s no wonder that among the most beloved traditions of the season is taking the kids out for a little escapist entertainment. Hans Christian Andersen’s The Snow Queen is a wintery tale meant to…

True Romance?

THU 12/4 Kathe Izzo vows to fall in love with anybody who makes an appointment with her. She offers a deep, telepathic connection based on unconditional love. This is not a joke. It’s art. Her work, LOST: An Exploration of Trust, Love, and True Connection, consists of a series of…

Happy Jack

SAT 11/29 If amiable, silver-haired folkie Jack Williams ever ends up at your house as a guest, you may want to keep him away from the guitars. Don’t worry: He’s not going to play rock star and smash your collection of Precious Moments figurines to bits with your Fender Strat…

This Week’s Day by Day Picks

Thursday 11/20 Imagine this entry from the diaries of Lewis & Clark, trekking their way through our country in 1805: “Dear Diary: We’re itching less; there’s fewer mosquitoes the further west we go. As we make our way down the Columbia River, we’re surprised to find chicks! Tons of them…

French Tickler

SUN 11/23 No, that’s not the live version of the Paris Hilton sex video you’re watching. Just a run-of-the-mill performance by French underground artist/musician Jean-Louis Costes. Currently trekking through 22 cities of this vibrant, tolerant country, he’ll bring his Holy Virgin Cult Tour to Churchill’s (5501 NE 2nd Ave.). It’s…

Wig Whammy

NOW 24/7 “It’s an underground thing,” says Joe Aronesty, explaining the nuances of the wig business, which serves the needs, mostly, of women who’ve lost their hair. So Joe, who is all tact, quietly runs his “head” shop from the hidden recesses of his Lincoln Road clothing store. The shingle…

This Week’s Day by Day Picks

Thursday 11/13 Kick up your heels for joy. Or maybe you should leave that to the professionals? A good reason to be thrilled is you’ll finally get to see the hallowed Radio City Christmas Spectacular without having to trek to New York City in what could be snowy weather. Yes,…

United We Rock

SUN 11/16 The first and probably last Argentine rock star, the man who reinvented the hotel-trashing role reserved for the very few, Charly García (below), will be in town for Rock En Miami II at noon at Bayfront Park (401 Biscayne Blvd.). He’ll bring his band, which will mean lots…