Where in the hell is Hugo Chavez?The normally voluble Venezuelan president has been missing for nearly a month. The official explanation is that he’s recovering from surgery to remove a pelvic abscess in Cuba, but rumors abound.Is he pissing into the Mississippi to make it flood? Is he hand-delivering Domino’s…
Every week for nine years, Robert Teichert called his friend Rich in Florida. The two had met while working at the Champions Golf Club in Stuart and become buddies over hours spent drinking beer and fishing. They stayed in touch when Robert moved away.But this spring, Rich stopped answering his…
People send us some weird crap. Sometimes, it’s a tip that leads to a muckraking investigation. Other times, it’s a misspelled letter written with crayons on a cereal box informing Riptide that we will soon be headed to a fiery grave for our sins.Then there’s this: a mysterious photo that…
It was an unlikely win, but a win all the same. The Marlins stopped their 11-game losing streak last night with a 5-2 win over the Angels.Javier Vazquez pitched a scoreless 5 1/3 innings, which is pretty awesome considering he entered last night’s game with the worst ERA in the…
Last year, she was undermined by stinging jellyfish and wicked ocean currents. This time around, it was all smooth paddling.Cynthia Aguilar, a Miami Beach lifeguard featured in our November People issue, completed a 103-mile journey from near Cuba to Key West — all on her paddleboard.”I’m still a little sore,”…
South Florida gangs are a ruthless and bloody bunch, whose names strike fear into the hearts of their enemies. Lately, however, those names have gone bilingual. And redundant.Six members of the Lake Worth-based gang Krazy Locos — not to be confused with the formerly caffeinated brand of booze-in-a-can Four Loko…
Extortion. Beatings. Stabbings.When Louis Theroux: Miami Mega Jail first aired on May 22, the BBC documentary made it look like inmates — not guards — were really in charge of the Miami-Dade Pre-Trial Detention Center downtown.Corrections officials say the documentary is misleading, but the scenes were disturbing enough for county…
Jason Terry’s tattoo shows he has more balls than brains
Sweet Micky’s masquerade
How little of a sh*t does Miami Police chief Miguel Exposito give about a recent report assessing his department?He didn’t even bother to spell the author’s name correctly in his response.But typos aside, Exposito’s main arguments came through loud and clear in a letter he sent yesterday to City Manager…
On March 20, after a fraudulent first-round of voting and weeks of riots, Haitians overwhelmingly elected a 50-year-old former pop star as president.Michel “Sweet Micky” Martelly strolled into office with two-thirds of the votes, promising radical change. Since retiring from the stage in 2007, Martelly has tried to shed his…
When Dwyane Wade left his hand in the air after swishing a three-pointer to put the Heat up by 15 in Game 2, Jason Terry took offense. The Dallas Mav-prick followed Wade toward half-court, cussing him out. And when the Mavs came back to win in the dying seconds, Terry…
Jaime Bayly may be dying, but the Peruvian talkshow host is still stirring the pot in his nation’s upcoming presidential election.He recently released a video linking leftist candidate Ollanta Humala to a deadly revolt back in 2005. And he claims that the other candidate, Keiko Fujimori — daughter of disgraced…
Miami Beach Police say they have found a gun in the blue Hyundai that Raymond Herisse was driving when he was shot and killed by cops early Monday morning during Urban Beach Week.According to police Chief Carlos Noriega, officers discovered a black Beretta 92-F semiautomatic pistol hidden somewhere in Herisse’s…
These days, everyone is weighing in on the rivalry between the Miami Heat and the Dull-ass Mavericks. Even God.As the Pope’s duly appointed representative in South Florida, Archbishop of Miami Thomas Wenski has astutely wagered that the Heat will take the NBA title. Unsurprisingly, his Dallas counterpart, Bishop Kevin Farrell,…
Hurricane season starts tomorrow. And while South Florida is again bracing for the big one, nearby Haiti is still dangerously behind schedule after last year’s devastating earthquake.Last summer the still-grieving country escaped the worst, despite flash floods and cholera outbreaks. But with hundreds of thousands of Haitians still living in…
Sharks attack, fishermen and scientists battle
It’s been there for decades, lurking just out of sight: not a razor-toothed leviathan but shark fishing itself.As this week’s feature explains, increased state and federal regulations have forced most shark hunters to lay down their nets (and shotguns). But the Sunshine State remains a major player in the national…
Oprah may have taped her last show yesterday, but we’ve still got another plump drama queen — perhaps for decades to come. With the Big O saying goodbye, Venezuelan president Hugo Chávez is now the western hemisphere’s premier entertainer. And injuries be damned, the Hugo Show will go on.During his…
Four Seasons accused of swindling condo owners
Growing up in communist Poland, Bozena Sawa secretly idealized the glittering luxury hotels that dotted capitalist Western Europe and the United States. After the fall of the Iron Curtain, she moved to New York and fell in love with the gilded Four Seasons on Fifth Avenue.So she couldn’t believe her…
It’s no secret that cops aren’t always welcome in some Miami neighborhoods. In Overtown, for example, the black community has been on-edge since last summer’s police shooting of unarmed DeCarlos Moore. In the six months following, Miami PD killed six more black men — most in Overtown, Little Haiti, or…
