Nick RalloOh nothing, just a guy in a wolf mask playing “Happy Birthday” on the violinIf you’re familiar with chaos theory, which in its basic form is the attempt to find patterns in the random acts of shit on Earth, then you may understand the difficulty that comes with describing…
Ben WesthoffAbnormally attractive pedicab driver.Paying homeless people $70 a day to serve as human wifi hotspots is a bizarre way to make a buck, but it’s indicative of the hustler’s spirit at South By Southwest this year. Folks are grinding hard and employing increasingly-gimmicky measures to make money. But there’s…
Your last name may not be O’Neil or McCarthy, but here in Miami, we all share a lot in common with the Irish — 95 percent of our population is comprised of immigrants that fled their homeland due to some type of famine. And now, here we are are in…
There’s no denying Miami’s weird-ass ways. So every other week, Welcome to the Future addresses the absurdity of life in the Magic City — in comic art form, naturally…
Admit it, Miamians: You’re sexy and you know it.It’s no secret that Miami boasts an unprecedented proportion of beautiful people. Hotties abound, from bikini-clad models on South Beach, to sexy hipsters in Wynwood, to studs in suits in Brickell. LMFAO can shove its West Coast pride, because that irritating, inescapable…
Marco Torres”What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area.” — Tommy Lee Jones, The Fugitive You don’t have to spend much time at South By Southwest to know that all…
Some three years ago, Riptide told us about Miami bikers’ penchant for listening to country music divas and sharing their feelings with their moms.The data in the article, compiled by Progressive Insurance, reflects the current reality of the rider scene in South Florida. The truth is bikers today are less…
So, Rick Scott has been promising us all a lot of jobs.And then he wasn’t. And then he was. Basically, he’s been pretty wishy-washy about the whole situation, but he may have found his redemption in a new California law that will most likely send its massive porn industry packin’…
Human existence is striding a lot easier these days.A mere hundred years ago, a trip from the Far East to the Americas could take longer than the 16- or 17-hour flight it takes now. Nowadays, though, you can be in Moscow, New York, and Honolulu all in the same 24-hour…
Getting to work this morning was a bitch.Earlier this week, Cultist’s Hannah Sentenac gave us five reasons to STFU about the terrible traffic in Miami.Soon, though, you’ll find five reasons endorsing a ferociously whiny commute.Our Magic City may not have ranked as the country’s worst metropolis for commuters, but just…
Los Amigos Invisibles didn’t have the time — or the money — to make a movie about the Venezuelan funk band’s 20 year-history. Luckily, bassist José Rafael “Catire” Torres ran into old friend Juan Miguel Marín at the Miami International Airport last year. Marín’s band opened for the Venezuelan funksters…
Miami International Film Fest is well underway and there’s one film in particular that’s setting our radar abuzz. The HBO documentary film, About Face: The Supermodels, Then and Now is the brainchild of Miami native, celebrated photographer, and documentary maker, Timothy Greenfield-Sanders.It may be hard to believe that models have any…
Hey, listen: we’re busy people. Between recapping Basketball Wives episodes and learning our ABCs, the truly important stories slip right through our fingers sometimes.Miami natives, Yamil Piedra and Johnny Trabanco (collectively, A Pair of Nuts) were featured at last weekend’s South Beach Comedy Festival. They deserve quite a bit of…
Ah, rush hour.We all love to bitch poetic about our city’s nasty gridlock, bemoan the never ending stop-and-go that is US1 and whine about the stagnant mess that is 836, but the truth is, we’ve got it good. Other cities face traffic nightmares so horrific that a life without wheels…
God bless all things Portuguese. The sultry gene pools of Brazil and Portugal have spawned for us bronzed glamazons like Gisele Bündchen, dashing demi-gods like bad boy soccer superstar (and unabashed Emporio Armani underwear model) Cristiano Ronaldo, and sexy screen stud Rodrigo Santoro (best known as the silver-sheathed, Spartan-slaying Xerxes…
New York Fashion Week may be the biggest fashion event in the country, but when it comes to Miami’s prominence in the world of fashion, there’s more than meets the eye. Miami Beach International Fashion Week is the largest international and Hispanic fashion event in the U.S., brings together top…
Miamians are total suckers for their furry family members — no surprise in a city where one in five of us snuggle up at night to a canine companion. That’s more than 480,000 pooches in our sunny metropolis, which equates to many a wet nose, wagging tail, and puppy-whipped pet…
The Miami International Film Festival is bringing plenty of big names to South Florida this year. But you could argue that the biggest star is Miami itself. The 2012 lineup features plenty of movies associated with Miami, whether using the city as a beautiful backdrop or featuring Miami natives on…
Here are a few signs you’re a dance/music/acrobatic company superfan: You can’t wait for the next Cirque du Soleil tent to go up in downtown Miami, despite the hellish traffic it creates on Biscayne Boulevard. When you visit Orlando, you stop to “ohh” and “ahh” one more time at the…
Monica Lopez De Victoria and Tasha Lopez De Victoria are the bling that binds the TM Sisters. The “do-it-yourself” Miami-based, performance-art sisterhood will premiere a new work, Shimmer, during the Arsht Center’s Miami Made Festival 2012. Shimmer is Miami. Like the Energizer Bunny, Miami — with its over-caffeinated inhabitants, sea…
The main virtual hallMost conventions are pants-mandatory kinds of affairs — even those of the adult nature. For the world’s first virtual porn convention, however, I’m not wearing any. (Relax — I’m in my PJs.) This past weekend, XBiz and Red Light Center hosted the Adult Entertainment Virtual Convention, porn’s…
The 84th Academy Awards are just around the corner, and that can only mean one thing: socially acceptable Sunday night boozin’. After all, real film fans don’t casually sip champagne as Hollywood’s biggest night winds its way to its inevitable conclusion sometime around midnight. They pound their drinks to dull…
