We were on the top of the world, and getting everybody’s attention. Regis Philbin inserted the Marlins into his daily Senile Round-up. Philadelphia sportswriters were warning fans that the Phillies had more than the Mets to worry about. “They’re not a mirage and they’re not going away,” wrote the Daily…
Just a couple of weeks into his new gig as Florida International University basketball coach, Isiah Thomas is already beginning to exhibit his world-famous people-person charm.High school forward and Jacksonville native Chris Rozier had been offered a b-ball scholarship to FIU before Thomas got there. But apparently the new coach…
Richard von Houtman does not like Dwyane Wade. Today, von Houtman and business partner Mark Rodberg filed a federal antitrust suit against Wade and right-hand man Marcus Andrews for pulling out of their D Wade’s Sports Grills franchise after allegedly demanding a larger share of the venture in return for…
Nearly every police department has some warm and friendly motto that adorns the sides of its cruisers — you know, something like “Courtesy, Professionalism, and Respect.”Unfortunately, about the only time you’ll notice one of these slogans is when your nose is pressed up against it — while a burnt-out, vein-popping…
Earlier this afternoon, resident Patrick Henry-quoter P. Scott Cunningham pointed out that the URL for Miami-Dade’s new water conservation site, weuseless.miamidade.gov, sounds like our government is finally admitting, in appropriately bad grammar, that it sucks. Which gives me an excuse to point out some unintentionally self-deprecating hilarity going on on…
Look at that face to the right there. Just look at it. Don’t you wanna punch it? And don’t even try to harp on how that face was right about steroids and yadda, yadda, yadda. We, for some unfathomable reason, read most of the second book written by that face…
Last Sunday, the Atlanta Hawks walloped the Miami Heat in the first game of the playoffs — and team hero Dwyane Wade managed only 19 points. We weren’t celebrating — and we’re still confident D-Wade is gonna right the ship. But while we believe the superstar can take the Heat…
We’re predicting at least one use of the word hater in the comments section of this post, so allow us to preface this by saying: We would sacrifice our teenage daughter to Kobe Bryant if that would mean the Heat bringing home a championship. And we’d love to see Dwyane…
In business and politics, it’s all about who you know. And connections are connections — even if the power player in your Rolodex likes the taste of his own feces.Yesterday morning, Riptide experienced a first: In a post-interview chat with a prominent Miami businessman and former city politician who shall…
On a beautiful, breezy night last week, Pastor Vincent Spann of Liberty City climbed from a Ford SUV and, flanked by about a dozen family members and disciples, toured the now-infamous sex offenders’ encampment under the Julia Tuttle Causeway, which New Times introduced the world to in 2007. With his…
A judge’s time on the bench can be a very cloistered experience. They’re surrounded by their favorite bailiffs, familiar lawyers, and regular criminals. After a while, maybe all the deference and adulation can go to a judge’s head, causing pomposity to increase and courtroom rambles to make less sense. That’s…
In 2006, Dontrelle Willis, his Blood Alcohol Content reading like Emlio Bonifacio’s batting average, staggered from his double-parked black Bentley, took a piss on a South Beach wall, and got arrested for a DUI. The bust not only set off D-Train’s inexplicable career slide, which has had him pitching for…
It’s hard to wax romantic about baseball at Dolphins stadium. Something about the sickly yellow-green that the klieg lights turn the grass outfield, the barren seating sections at every glance, the uncoordinated Mermaids bravely persisting as baseball’s only cheerleaing squad- it just doesn’t bring the George Will out of me…
It’s been about two years since our economy tanked, a year since anybody noticed it, and reporters and pundits have now officially began looking at the other side of Lake Recession. Alarm has been replaced by resignation and a bit of wizened optimism. You’ve probably read or heard a piece…
Boy, were we pleased when Hanley Ramirez made an empty demand for a trade earlier this spring after the team forced him to mow his cornrows. Our joy had nothing to do with wanting to see Han-Ram go; we were just happy to hear, for once, some water-cooler buzz about…
The Marlins settled for 600 fans per home game last year. The Panthers are literally giving away tickets. Minor-league soccer squad Miami FC is hemorrhaging cash. So you might think it’d be foolhardy to bet big bucks on Miamians attending the championship of a sport most Americans have never heard…
The Marlins settled for 600 fans per home game last year. The Panthers are literally giving away tickets. Minor-league soccer squad Miami FC is hemorrhaging cash. So you might think it’d be foolhardy to bet big bucks on Miamians attending the championship of a sport most Americans have never heard…
On Wednesday, New Times published “Treasure Island”, the story of serious civil and criminal fraud allegations involving the Grandview Palace condo association in North Bay Village, the building’s father-and-son developers, and an insurance provider accused of being a shell corporation. That same day, the attorneys representing the insurance company and the developers…
Somebody get this kid on Maury. Spanish pop crooner Javier Santos — who goes by only his first name — has spent the past ten years proclaiming he is the love child of Indian Creek Village Lothario Julio Iglesias, which makes him the half-brother of slightly less fossilized Sunset Island Lothario Enrique…
It was an operation of unprecedented ambition, one that salvaged the life of a completely paralyzed patient and made a national star of 37-year-old wunderkind spine specialist Dr. Charles C. Edwards. In July 1979, the University of Maryland Hospital surgeon sliced into the back of 33-year-old Baltimore housewife Jessie Thomas…
(Full disclosure: Yes, we’re blogging about an advertiser, but only because we find it supremely entertaining. The graft has nothing to do with it.) The woman to the right is Beverly, and she’s tired of going on a few dates with a man only to discover he’s actually not a…
“I don’t want to get stabbed for a hot dog” might be the quote of the year. Last week, a riot- the definition for that term seems to be getting looser by the news story, but we’ll roll with it- broke out at a Brooklyn Shwarama King when Hasidic customers…
