There are plenty of reasons not to see the Florida Marlins play. It’s hot (no, really, it’s hot!), it’s rainy, they play in a football stadium, and they field minor-league players until one of them emerges as a superstar and then gets traded to another team for more minor-league players…
The Miami FC Blues dropped another heartbreaker last week with a 1-0 loss to the Carolina Railhawks. The game remained deadlocked at 0-0 for the entire game (soccer is fantastic!), but in the 87th minute, Carolina’s Daniel Antoniuk scored the game winner. The Blues now sit in eighth place in…
The Florida Marlins’ plan to get you to the ballpark worked so gloriously last season — a league low in total attendance — they’re doing it again! The Marlins recently announced what they’ve deemed “the much-anticipated return of Super Saturdays for the 2008 season.” They probably use the term much-anticipated…
Entering the fifth week of the season, the Florida Marlins ranked 19th in runs scored — good enough to be tied with the Yankees and Rangers. The real catalyst for this offensive surge has been Hanley Ramirez, shortstop extraordinaire. Ramirez has hit the ball safely in all but three games…
Something is not right with the Florida Marlins. The sucking is not working, which is the only thing they’ve been good at for the past five seasons. At least it was. Last April, the Fish started with a 6-10 record and capped off the season 20 games below .500. They…
Although they play in a lower-tier soccer league and draw fewer people than a city commission meeting, the Miami FC Blues are still very much a part of the South Florida sports scene — in that they suck. In three seasons, the Miami FC Blues had never scored a goal…
Right-fielder Jeremy Hermida had this to say about the Florida Marlins offense now that slugger Miguel Cabrera is a Detroit Tiger: “With losing Miggy … we have different guys contribute every night, and that’s what we need.” On April 11, the Marlins set a franchise record by slugging six home…
It’s been some years since boxing has seen a puncher like Juan Urango. He’s got a no-holds-barred approach that blends discipline with pure power. It’s a style that brings buzz and excitement to a sport that more often than not lacks it. With his brutal, face-pummeling method of attack, the…
They call soccer the beautiful game. In most parts of the world — such as Brazil, Italy, Argentina, and England — this is true. Here in the States, not so much. With 11 teams, give or take a club folding up every other season, the United Soccer League (USL) is…
Florida Marlins President David Samson recently revealed the team has an eight-figure salary cap — for marketing. The same team that apparently cannot afford to keep Josh Beckett, Miguel Cabrera, or Dontrelle Willis has enough to spend on a squad of dancing fat dudes and other crap to get you,…
Like the 1986 Celtics, 1988 Lakers, and 1997 Bulls, every now and then there comes along an NBA team that transcends greatness, brilliance, and excellence. The 2007 Miami Heat is not one of those teams. No, this season, Heat fans have pretty much been force-fed one giant shit sandwich, requiring…
The best minor-league team in the majors faces Pittsburgh. @cal body 1 no indent:It’s easy to be cynical about the Florida Marlins. They’re owned by a smarmy art dealer who destroyed baseball in Montreal, and a not-as-smarmy yet colossally douchebaggy team president. They trade away their star players (Dontrelle Willis,…
Back on March 19, the Miami Heat and history had a ménage a trois with ineptitude. Without Dwyane Wade or Shawn Marion, Miami scored only 54 points against the Toronto Raptors – the third-lowest point total in NBA history. Ricky Davis and Chris Quinn led the Heat in scoring. That…
Every year Hoop It Up tours the nation, providing everyday joes with a shot at proving their worth in pick-up basketball. The premier three-on-three basketball tournament in the country breaks it down into 20 divisions that range from boys and girls ages 13 to 18, to men and women ages…
Let’s face it. Catching a Florida Marlins day game during the summer can be downright masochistic. No other baseball team holds matchups in a football stadium in the dead of summer when the humidity is at boil-an-egg-in-your-crotch levels. Also, no other franchise has a promotion that features an energy squad…
On March 2, the Miami Heat finally played its best half of basketball of the season. Then everything went to shit. Miami squandered a 23-point lead to Ron Artest and John Salmon’s Sacramento Kings that night — the worst collapse in a season filled with collapses. So to recap, Miami…
Miami-Dade is one of the most sport-friendly counties in the nation, with more than 20 golf courses; innumerable baseball, softball, and soccer fields; as well as a plethora of professional sports facilities. With that in mind, the Miami-Dade Sports Commission works to secure sporting events that stimulate an economic payoff…
This season continues to be one massive cock-punch for the Miami Heat. No matter the day of the week, chances are that somewhere in America, the Heat players are getting their asses handed to them. Small wonder why Dwyane Wade had such a huge smile during the all-star game a…
Spring training is a beautiful time for baseball fans. It’s pure. It signals a new beginning. It lacks the corporate feel the regular season seems to choke us with. Maybe it’s because the bleachers are so close to the action. Maybe it’s because of the peculiarly cool, casual uniforms. Sometimes…
It’s been a painful season. But at least now the new, Shaq-less Miami Heat looks faster — and younger. Not much better, though. Still, unnoticed in the seismic Shaq-to-Phoenix trade is the fact that Miami got a great player in return. Newly acquired Shawn Marion debuted for the Heat with…
Kimbo Slice is an absolute bad-ass. If you need proof, search his name on YouTube and watch a bevy of videos of him pummeling some random dude’s face into creamed corn. Most men dare not even imagine stepping into one of those bare-knuckle bouts with Slice. There are several reasons:…
It’s hard to believe that just 19 months ago, the Miami Heat was showering in NBA championship glory. Shaq was adding to his legacy, Dwyane Wade was creating his own, and Pat Riley was doing the awkward white man’s dance at the championship parade on Biscayne Boulevard. Now they’re an…
