Graffiti and basketball are exciting things to do in theory, but they often require you to stand for extended periods of time. Worse, they sometimes involve running and/or hand-eye coordination. Good thing that Keep It Classic is hosting a one-night-only graffiti and basketball film double feature at O Cinema (90…
In the years since Comedy Central’s Mind of Mencia went off the air, the only ways to get a look into the workings of Carlos Mencia’s brain have been through elaborate schemes of kidnapping and forced CAT scans. Even if you have a cousin who will do the kidnapping for…
The problem with hosting an artists’ residency aboard a pool noodle in the middle of the ocean is that the sculptors are going to sink and the painters are going to whine about their canvas getting wet. But if the Stiltsville Trust has its way, the seven remaining houses of…
It is very hard to play Jenga during Critical Mass. Fortunately, the progressively sexy biking and social justice enthusiasts at Emerge Miami are leaving the spandex at home for the night and opting for a fun evening in with Board Game Night at Sweat Records (5505 NE Second Ave., Miami)…
Not doin’ so great? Normally, we’d refer you to the New Times Happy Hour smartphone app or one of the fine service providers that advertise in the back of this paper. But you’ll have one more option this Saturday at 7 p.m., when Wendy Williams brings her book tour to…
Take a look at the painting below. Closer. Closer still. What at first glance appears to be a fairly standard nature scene is actually a painting of a woman’s runny nose. We think. If you’re an anatomy expert, maybe you can correct us if we’re wrong. And if you’re not,…
Don’t be surprised if this weekend, the city seems lousy with film crews. Fear not: there is not a pandemic of Kardash-ococcus spreading through Miami. Rather, the 48 Hour Film Project begins tonight. Teams of filmmakers will be given 48 hours to make a short film in one of 15…
Ever try to taste a country? It’s not easy. Most countries, you have to try to taste on the sly. (“Hey, Tunisia, sorry I dripped that gravy on you; lemme just lick that off like a pal…”) Not Haiti, though. This Saturday, Haiti will be spiced, sauced, and awaiting your…
While you were clicking ‘like’ on that photo of your cousin’s ugly baby, Billy Donnelly was busy getting fired through Facebook. Donnelly was until recently known as The Infamous Billy the Kidd, South Florida editor of Ain’t It Cool News (spoiler alert: it ain’t). He doesn’t want to insult his…
With the exception of the clear horsey favorite Verrazano, broken-nosed racing experts are expecting some of the slowest runs in Kentucky Derby history this Saturday. What do you care? You’ll be drunk and wearing a giant hat. Don’t have a giant hat? Gather all of your tiny hats and finally…
Depending on whose statistics one goes by, either Miami-Dade or Broward County has the highest rate of new HIV infections in the entire country. Palm Beach County is not that far behind by any metric. “Yes, they still talk about San Francisco, but we’ve got a problem on the east…
It’s another weekend of cruising in your Cadillac Eldorado, a dulling set of steak knives on the passenger seat and, rattling in the cup holder, the last little bit of severance pay from your real estate job swindling unsuspecting buyers. “Why,” you moan between cuss words and vague misogyny and…
Calendar-minded craphounds probably assumed that the hit Ladies of Manure 2013 calendar would be followed up with an incredibly unpopular and revolting Advent calendar. Incorrect! On Tuesday, the Fertile Earth Foundation’s Ladies of Manure are hosting the second annual UnderGROUND Miami fundraiser to benefit their composting and waste-reduction efforts. How…
Quickly! Duck into the nearest doorway and let the stampeding hordes of poetry fiends spill palely past. If they spot you, start acting like a sport or religion and they will slowly back away, clutching their public radio tote bags to their chests and muttering, “Where is the mofongo of…
It wouldn’t be Sweatstock without some good old-fashioned Miami freakiness. Maybe in Canada the music festivals end with handshakes and strangers gently complimenting each other on their felt hats. But this is Miami, where nothing’s over until it has weird, probably videotaped sex with you. And Sweatstock 2013 was no…
During the South Beach Comedy Festival, while headlining the Fillmore Miami Beach, Tracy Morgan addressed the protesters who had decried his “misogynistic” performances in Australia earlier this week. But first, he strutted onto the stage with his arms spread wide and announced, “I gotta shit.” Nothing about Morgan’s bright white…
Say what you will about the drunken creeps lurking in the alleyway shadows of South Beach, but they are pretty well-read. Or at least they were this week when the O, Miami poetry festival hosted a poetry-themed edition of Bas Fisher Invitational’s Weird Miami Bus Tour. On Wednesday night, Nathaniel…
Sweatstock is for lovers. Lovers of independent music and record stores, yes. But also lovers of drunken groping before the sun has fully gone down. A good chunk of the attendees of Sweatstock 2030 were conceived indoors (and out) this weekend, spurred on by a hurricane season clothing-optional dress code,…
Put another Sweatstock in the wrinkly, rain-faded books. The fourth installment of Sweat Records’ anniversary party and Record Store Day celebration played out on three stages in Little Haiti. But it’s not just good times and dancing in the intermittent sun. It is also bleak, stomach-turning angst inside Churchill’s, Miami’s…
As we continue to process how a life can end in an instant as it did during the Boston Marathon bombings, HBO offers an unusual and powerful documentary premiere tonight. Which Way is the Front Line From Here? recounts the life and death of war photographer Tim Hetherington and was…
Tracy Morgan will headline the Fillmore Miami Beach tomorrow night as part of this year’s South Beach Comedy Festival. If you’re unable to get a ticket, don’t sweat it; you can recreate the experience by standing by the nearest shirtless man dry humping an invisible lover, and whipping your brain…
We’ve all been there: You’re about to stuff your mouth-hole with the handful of Salisbury steak grabbed off your future mother-in-law’s plate when a glob of the meat falls onto your bare thigh (your cargo shorts are dangling from a chandelier across the restaurant). Before meeting the parents, you had…
